Echo
by Care.Free.Lines
Summary: Seraphim Becks is a hot headed, moody teenage girl who moves to Forks with her emotionally troubled father. After making a strong bond with Seth Clearwater, she's invited to a family/friend occasion. Upset and alone on her birthday, she agrees to go. Where will she find herself when her over friendly close friendship is over turned when she meets the mysterious Paul Lahote.
1. First impressions

**_It's like gravity._**

**_Your whole centre shifts._**

**_Suddenly, it's not the world holding you here._**

**_You would do anything._**

**_Be Anything she needs..._**

**_A friend._**

**_A brother._**

**_A protector._**

"Seraphim" called Seth, I didn't move from the floor. I heard him come up the porch steps and come through the front door. "Sera, are you all right?" he asked, panic in his voice as he bent down over me. I stared up at his face,

"Why are you here?"

"Are you drunk?" he asked, his face a cross between worry and amused. I shook my head drastically and he chuckled lightly. "Why have you been drinking alone?" he asked, glancing around where the 7 or 8, or even 9 cans of cider had been thrown.

"Because I live in a shack in the middle of nowhere with a dad who's only concern is his job, my best friend knows nothing about me, my mom's off screwing half of America and I'm here...alone...in a shack that's in the middle of nowhere" he cried feeling sorry for myself. He frowned and made himself comfortable.

"Come to my barbeque" he told me, "then you're not alone, and you're not in a shack in the middle of nowhere" he smiled a little.

"I don't need pity, I'm fine; just go" I mumbled, he sighed.

"It's not pity, did you think I was just out here in the middle of nowhere for no reason? I want you to come, you can meet me friends and my family" he smiled gently, why does he want me to meet them? I sat up though and he jumped up, pulling me to my feet.

"Do I look okay?" I asked, sniffling. He laughed and dried my eyes.

"Come on, my mom will make you look brand new" he told me, he put his arm around me and practically carried me out of the front door. We got to his house and I stopped walking; people will see me. I turned and buried my face into his chest and he chuckled, he picked me up and carried me into the house; my arms tightly around his neck. "Mom" he said gently, I didn't look up.

"Who's this?" said a female voice,

"My friend Sera, she needs um...well" she wasn't sure how to say it, he placed me down and I looked down at the floor but turned around.

"Oh, come on honey" she said gently taking me by the hand, I felt embarrassed now. I didn't want to draw attention to myself. I let her take me through to the bathroom and I sat down on the toilet once she'd put the seat down. She bent down and started wiping my mascara; which I imagined was smudged, off. I sniffled and sat patiently. "Want to talk about it?" she asked softly, I shrugged. The idea of talking and someone listening sounded pretty good for once.

"I hit a girl at school today" I told her, she looked pretty surprised at that. I sniffled as tears started welling again. "She called my friend a...a..." I didn't want to repeat the word. "Something mean" I muttered. "And I was sent home" I continued, "And I told my dad, and you know what he said?" I asked. She continued staring at me. "Nothing" I sniffled, "He just...left. Because apparently paper work is a lot more important than me" I muttered, she wiped my eyes again.

"And you thought drinking, what I can imagine is a lot of alcohol, was a god idea?" she asked, I knew she wasn't telling me off or calling me stupid but I felt like she was.

"My um..." I sniffled, "friend in England said on her birthday she drank 18 cans of Fosters. So I figured it'd be cool to try since I had nothing else to do" I muttered,

"It's your birthday?" she asked shocked, I nodded and took a deep breath. If she didn't care before, she probably feels sorry for me now. Not that I like pity but it's some sort of attention so I guess it's good enough. She hugged me and I hugged her back, squeezing my eyes shut so they didn't water. "Well, happy birthday" she said to me, I smiled a little.

"Thanks" I sniffled sitting back, she washed my face with some face wipes and put some make-up on me. She helped me up and brushed my hair for me while I held onto the sink so I didn't fall over.

"I'll take you back to Seth and get you some tea; no more drinking, okay" she told me sternly, I scoffed. It's been a long time since someone told me what to do, let alone a mother figure.

"I promise" I muttered, she smiled gently and kissed my forehead gently. It felt nice. To have someone care about me. She took me outside and I walked shakily over to Seth who was sitting on a log near the bonfire; he put his arm around me and I put my head on his shoulder. I watched as the fire blazed and noticed from across it; standing down near the shore; a boy that looked older but similar to Seth stared at me. I just looked back at him, unsure what else to do. Seth muttered something under his breath and I turned to look at him. He smiled slightly and smiled back. He's such a good friend, a nice guy and not too bad on the eyes.

"I'm going to miss you at school" he smirked, I rolled my eyes but found I was smiling too.

"Have her back, yeah?" I asked, he nodded like he knew it was his duty too. I hated the idea of her being there alone but then again she probably wouldn't even notice me gone. I sighed and huddled closer to Seth; he's warm. I glanced around and spotted the other bottles of alcohol. Soon to be consumed by myself or maybe I should just go home. This is not making me feel any better. I felt sick.

"Are you okay?" Seth asked gently,

"No" I groaned, he turned slightly more towards me and rubbed my back gently. That just made me want to throw up more. It wasn't till I took a deep breath that I realised how close to me he was. Is he coming on to me? As he moved closer to me, I sort of just waited. No, I'm definitely going to be sick. Someone jumped on Seth, and I fell backwards off the log.

"Boys, stop it. Paul! Seth! What's the matter with you?!" Seth's mom shouted as she helped me up from the ground, I moaned and walked over to where a group of people were standing. There was quite a few of them, paler than normal.

"Are you all right?" asked a man, he looked strangely familiar.

"Do I know you?" I asked, cocking my head to one side and head butting the wall. "Ow" I commented as he helped me stand back up straight. I patted my head and looked around. Seth and some guy were still rolling around on the floor while Seth's mom shouted angrily at both of them.

"I work with your father" the guy eventually told me when I looked back at him.

"Oh" I said disappointedly, "fun" I muttered sarcastically before tottering over to where two boys were standing. I placed my hand on one of their shoulders while I looked at what drinks they had.

"Are you sure you should drink anymore?" asked one of them,

"Who are you? My mother?" I asked sourly,

"Ouch, definitely Pauls'" he smirked, I didn't know what he meant by that so I ignored it and picked up a can of Fosters. I saw a stone a little way down the beach that I could sit on so I went to sit on it. I didn't realise the boys had followed me until I went to sit on the stone and slipped off it; hitting myself in the face with the can. I burst into a fit of giggles.

"Are you okay?" the other boy asked, I just continued to giggle.

"Do you think we should get Carlisle?"

"Yeah, you go; I'll stay with her."

I pulled myself up into a sitting position and opened my can of larger; it fizzed out over the top of the can and dripped onto me but I didn't mind. I took a sip and looked around; I looked up at the boy. "Hi, I'm Sera" I told him, he smiled down at me.

"Quill" he murmured,

"That's a nice name, like a pen with a feather. Do you have feathers?" I asked after taking another sip. He bent down and put his hand to my head.

"Move" said a voice, a boy bent down in front of me and Quill moved away.

"Are you all right?" he asked me, is he the one that was staring at me? I put my hands on his face and hiccupped.

"You all look the same" I told him, he smiled at me and placed his hands over mine while looking into my eyes.

"Sera, are you all right?" the pale guy asked, Carlisle is it? The boy in front of me helped me to my feet and I put my hands down. He kept his hands on me and I pushed him away; Carlisle then moved forward.

"No" I whined, "No, you're mean. You're all mean. Leave me alone" I complained tripping backwards over the rock. I hit my head and pathetically started to cry.

"No, back up" Seth's mom told everyone loudly as they moved forwards. "She doesn't know any of you, naturally she'd be uncomfortable. Seth, take her home; she needs to sleep" she ordered, Seth pulled me to my feet and I stopped crying. I sniffled and looked around for my drink.

"No, I don't want him anywhere near her."

"Yeah well" muttered Seth,

"Yeah well nothing, she's mine Pup; back off."

Who's who? They started arguing again so I went to stand next to Carlisle, I hugged him and he walked me back to his group of pale people. "Hi" I said friendly, a few 'hellos' responded back to me.

"I'll call your dad" Carlisle told me,

"No" I shrieked, "No, I'm fine. See, straight line" I told him, walking a rather unconvincingly straight line. "Please don't tell on me, my dad gets mean" I frowned. He looked unsure and then sighed putting his phone away.

"Sera" shouted Seth's mom, "Inside" she told me. I spun around and walked towards the door until someone touched my hand, I turned to see Seth. He dragged me off towards the trail to my house and I managed to move my feet fast enough to keep up with him. Something took him out though and I fell over once again. I knew I was tripping when I looked up to see a massive grey wolf standing in front of me.

"Seth" I shrieked, fearing for him. A wolf had just attacked him. The wolf turned and lowered itself down so it wasn't as high and gently nudged towards me. Instinctively I held out my hand as it whimpered, it's nose touched my hand and I smiled. That's incredible. It's eyes were beautiful, dark and complicated. I moved my hand up its nose and in between its ears; gently tugging on its soft fur. "Incredible" I breathed, I wasn't sure if I was hallucinating or not considering the entire experience was out of this world but I swear it smiled at me. I stepped closer, placing my face gently against the wolfs'. Bringing my other hand up; I stroked it gently. It was so still and calm, then something growled loudly and before I knew it I was flying through the air; hurtling towards a tree. As I fell to the floor, I blanked out for a second; staring at the leaves of the tree above me. And then a scream erupted from my throat and I felt the pain; tears streaming down my face.

A cold hand touched my face gently, "She needs an ambulance" Carlisle said to someone.

"No" I cried, "Please" I whined. He sighed and moved my face gently, causing my teeth to clench. "I can stitch it but...she'll need to come back to mine." He picked me up gently; causing my head to move and I cried through clenched teeth. I closed my eyes and I must have blanked out completely for a while as when I reopened my eyes; I was being placed down on a hard surface.

"Sera, I'm going to give you pain relief and then an anaesthetic" he told me, I had no idea what he was on about as my head was pounding but soon enough I found the pain leave me and I fell asleep.


	2. Secrets

My first reaction as I woke up was to feel my head; I had a headache and felt sick but my head was pounding on one side. It was bandaged which only confirmed what I was remembering from last night. It was so bizarre, I was touching a wolf and it was letting me! I frowned, what if that's just something I dreamed up? I frowned, I guess I won't know till I see Seth. I sat up and sighed, looking around the small bedroom that I was in.

"Hey Sera, how are you feeling?" asked Seth's mom entering the room slowly, I smiled weakly at her and scoffed.

"Well, I feel like I've been hit by a truck" I told her honestly, she smirked a bit sitting down in the armchair next to the bed. "Where's Seth?" I asked glancing out of the open doorway into the living room.

"He got up early and headed over to yours to tell your dad you'd stayed over; drank a little and hit your head but you were fine. He's on his way back" she told me, is that what had actually happened? I wasn't sure but I couldn't find out by myself.

"So what actually happened?" I asked, she looked a bit unsure about telling me but then sighed.

"You're going to find out anyway" she muttered to herself, "well, you see Sera...my son is a werewolf" she told me. I grinned at the joke and when she looked at me seriously, I loosened it.

"You're kidding right?" I asked, she shook her head slowly.

"And all the boys that look like Seth, the pack...well, need I say it?" The pack? What the hell is this? Some sick tribal thing? I looked out of the window to see the same grey wolf from my memory. So, it's a person? "That's Paul" she told me standing up slowly, it was watching me. This is just...she's crazy. I moved back from the window and moved towards the door of room. "Sera, I know it's a lot to take in" she said after me, a lot? It's not a lot to take in because it's not true; she's crazy and I'm on some sort of drugs. I can't even be sure of what they did to me last night. Where's Seth?! I saw him walking out of the trees in a pair of shorts.

"Sera" he said gently, looking like he was about to apologise.

"Can you take me home?" I asked, he looked back at his mother.

"Sure" he mumbled, I took his hand in mine and we walked back towards the trees. We got into the forest, not near enough to my house as I'd like before Seth stopped walking. "I need to show you something" he told me, I stopped and looked at him confused. He dropped his shorts. Oh my...nakedness.

"What are you doing?" I asked bewildered, I couldn't help my cheeks going pink. I've never seen a naked boy before... "My mom was telling the truth" he told me, they're all crazy and on drugs. His body started shaking though and his body exploded into a transformation of a wolf in front of me. He was light brown and quite small; he just looked at me as I stared...gaping probably.

"Um..." I said confused. "Well I guess I can't say I don't believe you" I muttered. He 'changed' back and dressed himself again, making me blush once more. "So do you like change into anything else?" I asked awkwardly as we walked further onwards to mine. He chuckled a little.

"No, just a wolf" he told me,

"A pack...got it" I muttered. I had to ask the one question that was weirdly in my head. "So what does Paul look like? You know...as a person" I asked, I sensed the question made him unhappy.

"An older version of me I guess" he muttered looking at the ground. "A lot more ugly though" he smirked and I laughed a little; still Seth. We continued walking for a while and I realised I still had a bandage on my head; Seth helped me take it off. "Wow that's a lot of dried blood" he muttered, ew. I put the bandage in my jeans pocket and tried not to think of how horrible my head looked. "So, now you're suspended. What're you going to do?" he asked me.

"I was thinking of taking up a 3 week job, show how serious I am about change and stuff" I muttered stuffing my hands in my pocket.

"My dad's old fishing ranch needs a new owner, I'm thinking of doing it up again; getting business started with Charlie Swan" he told me, "Want a job?" he asked. I liked the idea of spending more time with him and doing something I'd get paid for.

"I'd love to" I smiled, he grinned back at me.

"I'm glad" he replied, I looked away from him as we neared my house. I sighed. I wonder what dad will say when he sees me, I'll be lucky if he says anything.

"I'll see you later" I told him, he nodded and I went inside. I went up the stairs and glanced in dad's office, where is he? I took a shower anyway and managed to get all the blood out of my hair; I washed it gently and put some grey pyjamas on. I tied my hair up and took my book into the front garden which was pretty much just a small clearing of trees where sunshine came through; I'd set up a deckchair there. I sat down on it and made myself comfortable.

"How's your head?" I heard dad's voice ask quietly, clearly he wasn't going to come and check.

"Fine" I replied dully trying to find my space in the book, and with that I heard him go inside. I sighed and tried to focus on my book but it was feeling extremely hard to get into. I put it down on the floor and stared up at the sky, it wasn't exactly sunny but it was warm and lighter over here. I felt my eyes drooping and sat up; I didn't want to sleep. I feel like I've been doing too much of it. I stared through the trees at one big grey wolf; it was lying on the ground out of obvious sight but somehow I felt like I'd been looking for him. Why was he following me? Why was I drawn to him? I wasn't looking out for Seth and I knew what he looked like. I wasn't sure whether he could understand me or not. I made tut noises for it to come forward and it put its head on one side. "What? I could whistle" I muttered, he stood up and came forward slowly; lying down in front of me. Again, I sensed it...I mean he was amused; he probably was. I stroked his nose gently and he placed his head down on my knees. "Will I ever get to see my subtle stalker unmasked?" I asked, he didn't respond so I cuddled into his fur. He's so soft and warm; I feel so calm.

"Sera" Seth's voice said, I looked over at him. I couldn't pretend to ignore the sadness in his face; why's it so bad that I'm friends with Paul? "You left your phone in my room" he muttered, Paul growled lightly and I tapped his nose; he looked at me bewildered and I giggled.

"You're so cute" I muttered kissing his nose afterwards, he nuzzled me and placed both paws up on the chair so he was a little taller up; his tail wagging. I looked back to see Seth gone, and my phone on the floor where he stood and I frowned. Paul whined, "He's my friend" I told him. He licked my hand and I found myself smiling again, I scratched under his ear and he continued licking my hands. I strangely didn't mind. I stood up and circled him, his eyes following me at all times. "You need a saddle" I smirked as I tickled his chin, he nudged me sideways and I glanced at his back. "Really?" I asked and he did it again, ok. I used the deckchair as a ledge and climbed onto his back, I suddenly thought for a minute about how this would look if dad came outside. Luckily, he didn't acknowledge me much. He stood up and I gripped onto him, "I'm not hurting you, right?" I asked worried, he shook his head and walked off through the trees slowly; I felt incredibly tall and mighty. I looked around at all the things I've always been too short to see, like how much prettier the wood looks when the leaves are around you. We got back to the beach and I crouched down on him so I could just see over the top of his head; I strangely liked being close to his fur. His smell was...incredible. He walked up and down the beach for a while until we heard a howl in the distance; his ears pricked up and his head turned in the direction of the noise. He whimpered. "What's wrong?" I asked intrigued, another howl. He howled back and a few other howls went off somewhere else. "Let's go" I told him sensing there was something wrong; did they need him? "Come on, what're you waiting for?" I asked, "Take me to your world."

He kicked off with his speed and we travelled through the forest, I gripped on tighter and watched as the trees flew past. We were joined by other wolves on either side of us, Seth on one side; from their growling I could tell there was something bothering them. Did they not want me here? Paul broke away from them and we ended up going a different way, are we going back to the beach? When we ended up outside a tall house with tall glass windows; I guessed not.

"Paul, what's wrong?" the familiar doctor from last night asked; he was dressed casually. The last time I met him with a clear head was at my dad's work party for his birthday a few months back when he first got here. He was dressed a lot more formally then. He stilled looked the same though; doesn't change much I guess. Others came out of the house and looked at us. Paul howled and I looked back through the trees. Something he doesn't like is out there; I know it.

"What is it?" I asked quietly, close to his ear. He dropped down and I sensed he wanted me to get off; I didn't want to but it's not like I could argue since it was his back I was sitting on. I got off and he turned to me, nuzzling and licking my face. I hugged him tightly sensing he was leaving, I felt incredibly anxious like I knew he was going to get hurt. "Don't go" I said frightened for him, he looked sadly at me. "Please?" I asked, more howls went off and I frowned. They needed or wanted him. He whimpered at me and I frowned. "You'll come back right?" I asked, he licked my nose and I smiled. He disappeared through the trees and I folded my arms. I take it Dr Cullen knows about them being werewolves; are they them too?

I waited outside, standing on my weak knees for a good few hours. The sky getting darker by the minute even though it was still day time; I hate November. I can tell it's going to snow any day now. "Honey, why don't you wait inside?" asked Dr Cullen's wife, she smiled at me and I smiled back. But I didn't want to go in, I felt like he needed me here. Like if he came back, he'd want to see me waiting here. I was about to decline nicely when I heard a howl; not that far away. I knew it was him, and from the sound of it; I just...felt in my gut that it was for me. I darted off through the trees and I knew the Cullen's were following me. I tripped over a few stones but continued jumping back up and running towards the pained howl.

"Don't-" Seth started putting his arms up to stop me but I skidded through his legs and crawled over to where Paul was lying on the ground with his 'pack' aiding to him. He was human...he was breath taking. I knew he was also naked but I ignored the element and squished in between his friends so I could be at his side; he smiled up at me.

"Are you okay?" I asked,

"A little bite, nothing major" he smirked at me, he looked in pain though with a sweat on his forehead.

"Sure" I rolled my eyes looking at his arm, it was like a human bite but it was bleeding badly and looked incredibly sore. "We're making quite a team with injuries" I smiled at him, knowing he was probably in immense pain and the only thing I could help with was distracting him. I turned to his face fully, making sure not to draw attention by looking at his source of pain.

"I'm sorry" he said gently, if I remember rightly; he was the one that hit me into the tree yesterday but I knew it wasn't his fault. I smiled gently and stared him straight in the eyes; his stunningly complicated brown eyes. He's so mysterious, I just wanted to ease whatever pain he was feeling; whatever pain had led to such sad eyes. I gently scratched his nose and he grinned at me. "You're so beautiful" he told me, my body ached with a butterfly swarm and I smirked.

"You're not too shabby yourself" I grinned, pun intended. He chuckled at me.

"Lies" muttered one of the other boys, Quill I think it was; the one I called a feather. I looked at him with an eyebrow raised. "I wasn't ears dropping I swear" he muttered looking at me; he went back to whatever he was doing, Paul scoffed and I looked back at him. I put my hand on the side of his face and he put his free hand over the top of it; crossing his chest awkwardly but he didn't seem to care. I pressed my forehead against his and closed my eyes after he did; I felt my breathing calm down again.

"You're going to have to tell me what this is" I muttered, he made an 'mm' noise. "I've never wanted to stab someone in the eyes so badly for leaving me" I added, he laughed. "I knew you were going to be stupid and get yourself hurt" I muttered, I knew he couldn't stop grinning at me.

"I'm sorry" he said again but in a humoured tone,

"You will be" I muttered, it sounded rather flirtatious.

"I'll make it up to you" he replied in the same tone,

"I bet you will" Embry smirked, I looked at him this time with the same expression and he just cleared his throat and went back to what he was doing. I looked back at Paul's face and found him smiling and staring at me still. I placed my forehead back to his and stared into his eyes; I wanted to get to know them. He squeezed my hand gently and I smiled, I can't imagine how much pain he's in right now.

"Carlisle, we can't stop it. I can't even imagine how many bones it's broken by now" one of the guys said to Dr Cullen who'd just arrived. It's breaking his bones? That sounds excruciating never mind painful. I placed my head down on his chest; his breathing fast. I stared at his chin, he let go of my hand and placed it on my face and I kissed it gently. What is this? We're acting like we're dating...like we're in love. I don't even know him. But I can't stop...this. He cried out in pain and I sat up and frowned. Carlisle and the others had been talking about something, my mind too focused on Paul to listen. I climbed on his chest so I couldn't keep looking at his arm.

"Frisky" muttered Embry, a few of them laughed. I turned slightly and tapped Embry's nose; he looked alarmed at me and wiggled his nose afterwards. "Mean" he muttered again. I turned back to Paul and he smirked at me; I gently touched his and he looked down at it.

"Paul, it's probably best if Sera isn't here for this" a guy said; one I didn't know. I frowned, don't send me away. Paul frowned and sighed,

"I'll come find you" he muttered, fine. I see how this is going to be. I felt slightly hurt that I was being dismissed out of everyone here but I guess I'm the most useless.

"I'll take you home" Seth said gently, I looked at him; he was standing my a tree with his arms crossed. I gently slid off Paul and stood up; walking towards him. I waited for him to move but he followed after me instead. I have no idea how to get home from here. We kept walking in the line I chose and eventually came out at a road. One I didn't know.

"So, what bit him?" I asked taking my hair out of its bobble. I then realised I'd been all over Forks forest in my pyjamas. Embarrassing much? I wish I had some sort of jacket, the cold was piercing.

"A vampire" he said bluntly, I looked at him with raised eye brows. He smiled a little bit. "Yeah" he scoffed, "The Cullen's; they're vegetarian vampires" he told me. So my doctor and my father's friend is a vampire.

"What's a-?"

"They don't harm humans, they drink the blood of animals" he told me, oh. I suppose that's good news for me and a lot of other people of Forks.

"And one of the Cullen's bit him?" I asked confused, he shook his head.

"No, an outsider. Someone who was on our grounds, we're not allowed to hurt the Cullen's. We have a soft of bond with them. Other vampires we're allowed to kill if they're harmful for anyone in Forks" he explained, so they're like the protectors of Forks?

"Oh, so what is Dr Cullen going to do?" I asked slowly like I wasn't positive I wanted to know.

"Suck the venom out, it's deadly to our kind; it doesn't change us" he told me,

"Will it hurt him?" I asked ignoring the other part of what he'd said, sucking anything out of his wrist sounded painful. He sighed like he was getting a little annoyed.

"Yes" he told me, "but it's better than it killing him so..." I felt sick. I wanted to be there for him. What if he died? I stopped walking and burst into tears, I'm so emotional today. I don't even know what's happening to me. "I...Sera I didn't mean to...I'm sorry, I should have been more sensitive" he sighed,

"What if he dies?" I cried,

"He won't, really. Carlisle's done it loads of times before, he knows what he's doing" he reassured me, why can't I be there? Why can't I hold him?

"Why do I care so much? I'm such a mess" I laughed putting my hands over my eyes.

"He imprinted on you" he said randomly,

"What does that even mean?" I asked drying my eyes with my t-shirt, I still felt sick at the pit of my stomach. I need to comfort eat or just pace; pacing is good so that's what I did. Nothing was on the road so I just paced back and forward.

"Imprinting is something we do, us werewolves" he told me, "one of the biggest bonds we have with the Cullen's is that Jacob imprinted on Renesmé- one of theirs" he told me. So it's a bond? "It's basically something that happens when we meet our soul mates, our other half, our gravity" he told me. So I'm Paul's soul mate? His other half? His gravity?

"That's a lot to take in" I mumbled,

"Yeah" he muttered, he frowned. "I wish you were mine" he muttered, I stopped pacing and just stared at him. He's jealous? He likes me? If I didn't feel this unconditional surge of love I felt I needed to give Paul; I'd probably have jumped for joy. Before yesterday, all I wanted was to love Seth. Was to kiss him, be his.

"On the contrary, before last night; I really wanted to be yours too" I mumbled, not that it probably helped him hearing it.

"And now?" he asked, I shrugged.

"Nothing" I muttered silently,

"Figured" he sighed sadly,

"Won't you find your imprint?" I asked feebly, hoping he did really soon so I didn't feel like such a bitch for not liking him back now that I had the most incredible man I could ever imagine. He's so gorgeous, and his eyes are like brown magical stars. All I want to do is kiss his beautiful lips and hold his bear like hands; have his safeness around me. Thinking of him just made me hurt more, I started pacing again.

"One day, just kind of sucks when it happens for others before you" he smirked, I can imagine. I frowned. I didn't want to sound cruel to Seth but I couldn't really feel that bad about him not having a girlfriend right now when Paul was having deathly venom sucked out of his wrist by a vegetarian vampire in the middle of the forest.

"I hope you find her soon" I said gently, he smirked and nodded. "We're still friends right?" I asked, he grinned at me and nodded.

"Of course but seriously, Paul is a hot headed, strong willed beast of a guy; he'll be just fine" he told me, I smirked. He's a beast of a man, grr. I stopped smirking, inappropriate much; Sera. Seriously not the time.

"Sucks being normal right now" I muttered scuffing my shoe, all I can do is wait and worry. I'm like his mother. That's what mothers do! He sighed and crossed his arm,

"I can imagine, you want to go meet his mom? She's been really bugging him about meeting you, you guys can worry about him together" he smirked, it'd be nice to meet his mom. I didn't want to be just like his mother but I could sense Seth wasn't bothered about him as much as me and it'd be nice for someone to actually worry with me.

"Sure" I smiled a little, he held his hand out to me and I took it gently. It took us about an hour to walk to his mom's. When we got there I felt quite nervous. The house was cute, dark blue wooden porch with a porch swing and windows with wooden shutters. The front door had 9 small square glass windows in it but it was blocked by a floral yellow curtain on the inside. Seth knocked and let go of my hand, I hugged myself feeling awkward that I was in my pyjamas again. It took a few long seconds but then a woman answered the door, she was around the same age as my dad I'd say; in her 40s. She had jet black hair and the same shaped eyes that Paul had, hers were a light green colour though. All in all, she as very pretty and you could see clearly she was Paul's mother.

"Hi Mrs Lahote, this is Seraphim Becks" Seth told her, she smiled at me happily and stepped down the porch.

"It's so lovely to meet you" she said gently hugging me, I smiled. She wasn't very warm but then again neither was I. "Come on inside, dear; you're freezing" she told me. "Where's Paul?" she asked Seth. I frowned, I wish he was here with me.

"He got bit" Seth told her, she frowned and I saw the worry cross her brow. "He'll be all right though, he was trying to play hero as always. Carlisle's with him" Seth explained, trying to be hero? What does that mean?

"Oh" she sighed,

"I'm going to get back, see if I can help. Is it okay if Sera waits with you?" he asked her,

"Of course it is, come in honey; I'll make some tea" she said taking my hand. Seth disappeared and I went inside Paul's house. His mom went straight to the kitchen after the door was shut, I took my time. The walls inside were yellow and blue striped in the hall way but it was red wallpapered in the sitting room and white in the kitchen. I liked it though, along the walls in the hallway there were pictures of Paul and his mom with a man I assumed was his dad. He was so cute; all small and smiley. I wondered into the sitting room and looked at all the pictures; there was a picture of Paul that looked quite recent on the fireplace. I picked it up and smiled, his grin was wide; he looked so happy.

"That was taken just before his change" his mom told me coming into the living room, I turned to her and placed it back down where it was.

"Before his change?" I asked,

"You know what he is right?" she asked startled for a second, I nodded. "Oh good, well he wasn't always. I mean he's always had the gene but they go through a change; like a girl changes from a girl to a woman with her cycle. The wolves go through a painful few weeks where they have fevers and become very irritable" she explained, I sat down next to her. "Paul's always been pretty hot headed anyway so you can only imagine what it did to him; I've never seen him so angry and frustrated" she sighed shaking her head. "But I'm so happy to see him happy again; he was practically grinning from ear to ear this morning before he left" she smiled, I'm glad he's happy.

"Must have slept well" I smirked,

"I don't think he slept at all actually" she smiled handing me my tea, "I worried for him, I didn't think he'd find you for a very long time. I kept telling myself he'd find you after he'd worked his anger issues out but here you are, hopefully you scold it out of him" she grinned, I felt a little awkward that everyone kept mentioning him being hot headed and angry. Seth had told me about him on my first day at school, when I exploded and threw Jasmine's head against the table because she called Tessa a freak. Seth said I was like Paul. Does he act out like that?

"I think I have a few of them myself" I sighed, she smiled.

"Good" she replied, "you'll need to be very strong willed and firm with someone like Paul. Put him in his place" she winked. I grinned, I'll do plenty of that but so far I just want to put him next to me and hug him.

"Will do" I replied, we drank our tea and relaxed.


	3. Relief

_Incredibly short chapter I know C: _

* * *

She told me about holidays with him, about when he was little, about how his dad died when he was 11 and about how he's not been to school for a very long time because he couldn't get along with anyone. I told her I'd been suspended for 3 weeks, I explained why of course and she was completely behind me for why I did it. I told her Seth was going to employ me for a job, she practically begged me to get Paul on board. It was around 7pm when Seth and Embry entered the house on either side of a tired and upset looking Paul. I helped his mom; Eleanor, get him some hot water bottles and warm blankets. She'd gotten more pillows for his bed so he was comfortable, I grabbed a towel and a flannel from the bathroom and went through to his room while she was making another hot water bottle. Embry and Seth had left quickly. I smiled when I saw his eyes were closed. I put the towel under his head gently and placed the flannel on his head, he sighed like he was relieved.

"That feels so good" he smiled weakly, I took his hand and squeezed it; he squeezed back gently. "I hope you haven't been too bored here with my mom" he said, opening his eyes a little and looking at me.

"I've loved it, it's been a long time since any woman in my life has cared" I muttered, "you're very lucky; she loves you so much" I smiled.

"I know" he said gently, he stroked my hand with his thumb and I moved forward. I looked at his arm where a bandage was and frowned. "Carlisle will be here soon to give me strong pain killers" he told me, I sighed. I didn't like that he was in pain. Instead of staying focused on something I couldn't help, I stood up.

"Any room under there for a small Seraphim?" I asked, he chuckled lightly.

"There's always room under here for a small Seraphim" he muttered grinning, he wiggled along and I got in next to him on his single bed. He put his good arm around me and stroked my back, he was boiling and all the hot water bottles were making the heat so much worse. I kept one leg outside of the blanket. I placed my arm over his stomach and rested my head on his chest. His heart was beautiful to listen to. I don't know how long we lay that but I know I fell asleep.


	4. Introductions

I yawned and opened my eyes to see Paul staring at me, he was facing me on his side and stroking my face. I beamed at him and traced my index finger along his bottom lip; staring at them. I really wanted to kiss him but I've never kissed anyone before. I know we're going to be together but I want him to know me like I want to know him. Like I want to know his eyes. That made me look up into his eyes and I moved closer; I grinned and he moved closer to me. Our foreheads touching again, he then tickled me and I squealed.

"No" I laughed, his laugh was adorable and slightly funny. I wriggled about as he tickled me. At breakfast I saw how his hand was feeling better, he caught me staring at it.

"We heal fast" he told me, "I'm okay, I promise" he added when I continued to stare it with concern.

"Sera, your dad's frantic" Seth said bursting in. I sat, unsure for a second.

"He is?" I asked confused, I can't remember the last time my dad was even bothered let alone frantic. Paul drove me home in his blue truck and I took him with me into the house, he waited in the hallway while I fronted dad first alone. I waved slightly at him and he frowned at me.

"I know I'm not one to talk about taking off without saying anything but I worry about you, we haven't really been here that long and we live in the middle of nowhere; it's not even like we're in a nice neighbour lane" he stressed, "And I know you're 18, so you're allowed to do what you like but please just...leave a note or something" he told me. I nodded.

"I will, I promise dad" I replied, I did feel slightly bad and I actually liked that he was worried about me. Dad doesn't really show affection much, he's never been good at it; I sometimes wondered if that's why mom left him. I was never actually told so I've cooked up a lot of theories over the years. He sat down at his desk and wrote some notes down on his notepad. I felt awkward and wasn't sure how to break it to him so I just took a deep breath.

"I have a boyfriend" I told him, he looked up a bit alarmed but then his face went back to the same expression it always is; the one where I can't tell if he cares or not.

"Oh" he said, "Seth?" he asked. Awkward.

"No, um.." I said turning to the corridor, I looked at Paul and he came through. "Paul" I said gesturing towards him.

"Hi" Paul said awkwardly, he and dad exchanged an awkward handshake.

"Oh, hello Paul" he said, he sounded unsure and Paul looked uncomfortable.

"Well um, we'll..."I trailed of indicating at us leaving his room and going upstairs. I took Paul's hand and he followed me out of the study and up the stairs on the right. I took him to my room which was basically in the attic, I climbed up the ladder to my room and he followed me up. I turned the little light on and looked at my pathetic excuse for a room.

"Cosy" Paul smiled wrapping his arms around my waist.

"I had a 3 roomed, on suit floor at our old house in Colorado" I told him, "I've moved from my own floor in a 4 storied; million dollar house to an attic that makes me so cold I think my nipples will fall off" I said amused. He chuckled.

"Well, my uptown girl; I would very much like to keep your nipples intact by keeping you warm" he told me, I grinned and he kissed my cheek gently. I towed him over to my bed and made him sit down. I tidied up a bit and he just watched me as I discretely tried to hide my dirty underwear, I couldn't have been more blunt about it in all honesty but it was in fact my room and if he didn't like it he was welcome to leave. I looked through my draws and found a yellow vest top, I pulled my grey one over the top of my head; facing away from Paul though. And threw it in the corner with the rest of my clothes I needed to put in the washing machine, I pulled the yellow vest top on and searched for my black leggings. I took my grey pyjama bottoms off but before I could put the leggings on; Paul scooped me up in his arms and fell onto my bed with me in my vest top and knickers. He pulled my white and purple duvet over the top of us and cuddled into me. It was freezing in her so I turned and cuddled in closer to him; sniffling. I hope I don't get really ill. "So, tell me about yourself" he mumbled, tracing circles onto my bare legs as I curled them up to me.

"What would you like to know?" I asked staring up at him,

"Virgin?" he asked which I laughed at because it was so random and such a cliché thing for him to want to know first. I knew he was kidding by the grin on his face.

"Yes" I laughed, "But..." I trailed off, "No I have nothing to add" I blushed laughing. "Moving on" I smirked, he continued to grin at me.

"Me too" he muttered, "I've been waiting for you" he winked.

"That is so cheesy" I laughed,

"Not waiting for that, waiting in general" he grinned, tickling me a little bit; I shrieked and giggled. "Moving on though, you said you lived in Colorado. Why did you move?" he asked, I got comfortable. "Not that I'm not glad you're here" he said happily. I smiled.

"I'm not totally sure. Everything was somewhat normal, as normal as it got living with my dad. Then one day he came home and said he'd bought a house here and we were moving. He said it was a good job opportunity for him" I told him, "but he gets paid nearly half of what he was earning there so whatever opportunity it is; it's not about money" I muttered.

"You didn't get a choice?" he asked,

"No" I murmured, "but I'm glad I'm here, if I was still there I wouldn't have you or a car" I laughed.

"Me...car...both equally as good" he smirked,

"You're so much better" I winked,

"Hmm" he grinned,

"But seriously, your reality is...crazy, it's so magical" I breathed, "I woke up yesterday morning thinking Seth's mom had drugged me" I told him honestly, he laughed.

"I think there's more chance of my mom drugging you than Sue" he said amused,

"Well I hope I don't get drugged by anyone" I smiled,

"Magical? Huh?" he asked, "never thought of it like that" he admitted.

"It's like waking up in a fairy tale" I said feebly, he smiled at me; his eyes twinkling. "You're so unreal" I smirked touching him gently.

"You're more unreal, you're incredible and beautiful and better than anything I ever imagined" he grinned at me like an idiot. I'm not very good at taking compliments so I just smirked and rolled my eyes, I sighed gently and got comfortable.

"Tell me more about you" I said gently drawing stars on his chest.

"You know quite a bit already" he murmured, I wasn't sure what to ask since I didn't know what I didn't know but I wanted to know more about his pack.

"Well, who did they others imprint on?" I asked, he pulled me into a big bear hug and cleared his throat like he was going to tell me a story. And he pretty much did, the romance of Edward and Bella; and how Jacob was like a third wheel. He told me about how Jacob fancied Bella from the moment he first saw her in Forks, and how she kept getting hurt by James and then Victoria; he told me a vague outline of what the Volturi were and told me about what happened there. And then he told me that when their half breed was born, Jacob imprinted on her. It all sounded so incredible, like a really incredible novel. By the end though, I just had so many more questions about vampires.

"Do vampires imprint?" I asked,

"No but they choose their mates. I've heard it's a pretty strong bond between them, not like average people dating but not as strong and life changing as imprinting" he told me, I liked that it was a strong bond even though I've never been one for being forced to do something but I'm not. Eleanor told me that Paul would love me as a brother, a friend or a boyfriend. So I'm actually choosing to want to get down and dirty with him. I smirked at the phrase and he raised his eyebrows. I shook my head gently. "Tell me" he whispered, I smiled.

"Just thinking about something your mom said" I muttered,

"What?" he asked,

"She was just telling me about how you'd be anything I wanted you to be" I muttered sitting up; the blanket moved with me.

"And...?" he asked slowly, I sensed a bit of worry in his voice.

"And I was just thinking of all the things I'd do to you if we weren't friends" I smirked, climbing off the bed.

"Wait? What? What would do?" he asked climbing off after me like he really wanted to know, I grinned and looked for some trouser bottoms.

"I'm hungry, are you hungry?" I asked glancing at him, his cheeks were a bit pink which made me grin some more.

"You can't just leave me hanging like that" he whined, nuzzling my neck.

"Evidentially puppy, I can" I whispered which made him whimper more and I couldn't help but want to go 'aww'. I shook my head and he frowned at me, wrapping his arms around my waist tightly.

"I am hungry" he then said which made me laugh, good. I put the leggings on with some black sandals and we went downstairs. I put cereal into two bowls and he laughed.

"I can't cook" I muttered,

"Me neither, baby." I wanted to beam and let my knees go weak but I didn't want to act like a child so I sat down next to him and handed him a spoon, he put his bad arm around me and I kept glancing at his bandage. We ate and once I was done, he took his arm back and started undoing the bandage.

"What're you doing?" I asked panicked,

"I'm going to show you that it's practically healed, it doesn't even hurt anymore" he told me, I frowned. He took it off and showed me his wrist, you could still see it looked like a human bite but he was right. It was practically just scaring now, no redness or blood. I touched it gently and he winced, I looked up at him frightened I'd hurt him and he laughed.

"That's not funny" I said hitting his arm, he continued to grin at me though and I tapped his nose. "No scaring the girlfriend, bad puppy" I told him. He whimpered but I could see him smiling which made me smile. He cuddled me and kissed my cheek, he's so warm and soft and cuddly. I'm turning into such a soppy person. If you'd asked me last week if I thought I'd ever feel the way I do now about a guy I'd probably have laughed hysterically and then hit the person who asked for being such an idiot. We sat and watched a terrible old movie on the TV; and then Paul took me for a walk. He let me wear his blue jacket though as it was frosty outside. He was wearing knee length denim jeans with black trainers and a black polo top. "So, who are the others?" I asked, he looked at me. "I know Quill, Embry and I know a lot about this Jake I can't put to a face but still" I smiled, "and Seth of course" I added.

"Oh well there's Sam, he's the head of the pack; the one that gives the orders. We have to do what he says, no choice" he grumbled, oh. Well that sucks. What if Sam told him to leave me? Would he? Could he? "Before everything with the Volturi it used to be Sam, Jacob, Leah, Seth, Quill, Embry and me" he told me, and they're not a pack anymore? "But when Jacob split from us to protect Bella before he imprinted, Seth and Leah went with him" he told me. "They can't come back to us now, I mean we're all still brothers. And we fight alongside each other but Jacob, Seth and Leah don't have to follow Sam's orders; Jacob is Leah and Seth's alpha" he explained to me. Oh, so they're like two different packs.

"So, there's not just you, Sam, Quill and Embry. Who else is there now?" I asked interested,

"Jared Cameron is our beta, he along with Brady Fuller and Collin Littlesea phased when all the vampires were in the area; the whole Volturi charade" he told me, "They're quite young but Jared was gifted with the best eye sight, he's been very good for our pack; he and Sam get along very well" he told me, "I'm third in command, which means I follow Jared and Sam's orders of course but I get to order all the others around" he smirked, he seemed to like that idea. I grinned.

"So, when Leah and Seth joined Jacob to protect Bella; why didn't you? I thought you guys protected humans?" I asked holding his hand as we walked. He seemed to hesitate before he answered.

"We didn't know what Renesmé was going to be, all we knew was it was killing her and if it was killing her; it'd most likely kill other humans. The unknown was very difficult to accept for Sam and the rest of us, Jacob and Seth were both Bella's friends; they didn't want her to be harmed so they turned against us" he told me, so wait...Jacob, Leah and Seth were protecting Bella from the pack?

"So you were going to kill her?" I asked a bit unsure, I'm not totally sure I like the idea of them turning on a human.

"Not Bella, 'it'" he told me, "Then we heard it had killed her, the treaty was broken because a vampire had killed a human" he told me, "We thought it was dangerous" he added, I felt like he was trying to persuade me that what they did was because they thought it was the right thing to do. Which I accepted, I nodded. "But Jacob imprinted on her, so we couldn't harm her" he told me, they can't hurt each other's imprint? "Which was definitely for the better, although we did all put our lives on the line to defend her after everything but I suppose we owed her one for you know wanting to kill her before she was born" he smirked, I smiled. "So to answer your question, I've never been particularly fond of vampires since after all they're the enemies and well they hurt our little squishy humans like yourself" he grinned,

"I'm not squishy" I murmured grinning,

"You're my squishy" he said in a baby voice, rubbing his nose against mine. I couldn't argue with being his, and he said it in such a cute way that I didn't want to. "But yeah, I stayed with Sam. I didn't want to protect something that could kill people, I thought I was doing the right thing" he muttered. We stopped and looked up at the Cullen's house through the trees; I wonder if they're in.

"Well, I'm glad. You should always go with instinct, even if it's wrong in the end. At least you believed in yourself enough" I told him, he smiled at me. "Random question" I said as we started walking again, I was reminded about wanting to know this by looking at their house. "How did the Cullen's come together? Were they like friends when they were human?" I asked,

"I'm not totally positive about the Cullen's story" he admitted, "but no, Carlisle created Edward, his wife Esmé and Rosalie" he told me, "Alice found Jasper and they found the Cullen's together" he added. "Rosalie wanted Emmet and asked for it or something like that" he muttered shrugging, I could tell he had no idea what he was talking about but it was cute he was trying to tell me all the same. "I really don't know" he scoffed, "it's probably best to ask someone closer to them like Seth or Jacob" he told me.

"Or I could ask Dr Cullen myself" I smiled, tugging on his arm; pulling him in the direction of their house. He seemed hesitant at the idea.

"Maybe you should come with Seth, I don't really know them-"

"Then what better way to get to know them than through a muggle" I smirked,

"A muggle?" he asked amused, "that's what you want to be called?"

"It seems fitting in this non-human realm you've summand me to" I winked, he laughed. I managed to get him closer to the house and he waited a few steps back while I walked towards the door. Dr Cullen was already on board it seems, he opened the door before I even had to knock.

"Sera, how are you feeling?" he asked politely, I totally forgot about my head injury; it feels like it was ages ago for some reason.

"I'm okay" I smiled, "how are you?" I asked feeling it necessary to be polite back.

"Quite all right" he smiled,

"Glad to hear" I replied, I turned back to Paul who seemed unsure of our small talk; I grinned and he just stared at me. "C'mon boy" I said in a patronising way, he tried not to but I could see him smirking. "I'll give you a belly rub" I said trying to bribe him, I heard someone laugh upstairs and he went back to looking incredibly uncertain about the idea. "You're going to make me go alone into a house of vampires?" I asked realistically, he seemed to think about it quickly and he walked towards me. "Yay" I smiled happily getting my own way, Dr Cullen led us upstairs and I followed after making Paul shut the door. I took his hand tightly and went up the stairs, I looked at all of the Cullen's and Jacob when we got to the top of the stairs.

"You actually got him inside the house, I am impressed" Dr Cullen's wife smiled,

"Unfortunately" muttered the blonde female, Rosalie I assumed. Paul didn't respond but I knew it made him uncomfortable being here; I felt really bad about it now. I thought they'd be nice to him, maybe I should have come with Seth instead.

"Play nice blondie" Jacob said from the sofa, he was sitting next to Renesmé. She was incredibly pretty, I felt envious but then figured I shouldn't be; she may be pretty but I had Paul and that made me feel pretty. Paul obviously felt like the Cullen's were safe enough otherwise he'd never have left me in their protection before he went to fight the vampire.

"This way" Dr Cullen said, leading us up more stairs. Paul seemed happy enough to leave the room with them all in.

"Proud of you" I muttered smiling at him, he rolled his eyes and made a whimpering noise into my neck. Aww. I kissed his nose at the top of the stairs and he licked me which made me laugh. Dr Cullen took us into his office which I vaguely remembered, was I brought in here when he needed to stitch my head? I looked around at all his books though, "I would die to live in here" I muttered to myself, I love books! It's like his own library inside his house.

"So, Sera; what can I do for you?" Dr Cullen asked,

"I'm nosy" I smirked.


	5. Gifted

He told me a lot, about everyone. And I asked a lot of questions, it must have gotten pretty dark outside but it was okay; I'd texted my dad telling him where I was and who I was with. Carlisle didn't seem annoyed that I wanted to know so much, and he kept telling me I asked the strangest questions; he was giving me answers to things he'd never thought about. Simply because he said Bella was made for this life and I asked if he was made for it too, after all; without him there'd be no Edward and without Edward Bella would never have been changed. He said he liked the idea that he was meant to be alive, and here. Even if it wasn't in such a form he was most pleased with but I didn't believe that fully. I think deep down he's glad he is what he is, he's done what he loves doing; saved people. He's an incredible man.

"Well, the world is certainly a better place with you in Dr Cullen" I told him, he seemed genuinely pleased at that. I looked over to see Paul asleep in the corner with a book in his hands; I think he'd gotten quite bored with listening but I was glad he hadn't left.

"You're flattering, Sera" he said gently smiling, he stood up and so did I. I went over to Paul and kneeled down.

"Pst" I said gently in his ear.

"I don't want pasta" he whimpered, I grinned; is he talking in his sleep?

"I wasn't offering it to you" I muttered,

"That's not nice" he whimpered,

"I didn't say I was going to be" I added. "Paul, wake up" I muttered, gently scratching his nose. His eyes flickered open and he looked at me.

"I fell asleep" he commented,

"Yeah" I smiled, "come on, I promised my dad I'd be in by 11" I told him. He yawned in my face and I grinned, he stretched in a really cute way and I pulled him to his feet. I turned to see Carlisle and Edward standing, watching us carefully. "Thanks for feeding my curiosity" I said to Carlisle,

"Not a problem, you're always welcome" he told me, I smiled and Paul yawned again. "Come on tired puppy" I said gently to Paul.

"Mean" he whined,

"I'm not mean" I smirked, he stopped and looked at me; his head on one side slightly. "What?" I asked, "I'm not" I muttered.

"You can understand me?"

"Of course I can" I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms, "Seriously, I need to go home" I muttered.

"Sera, he's not talking" Edward told me, I glanced at him. But I can hear him? "Well, not in so many words" he muttered. What are they talking about?

"I swear I saw a fly around here somewhere" I heard a small voice above me say, I looked up to see a spider on the ceiling above me. I'm not one to be frightened of things but I can't stand spiders for the life of me. I darted out of the door and down the stairs, it wasn't talking; I'm hallucinating again. I'm just tired, I hurt my head and now I'm hearing things. I turned the corner at the end of the stairs and ran down the other stairs and out the door.

"Sera, wait" I heard Paul say.

"What's that?"

"We'll make a nest over here."

"Where are the worms?"

"Stop making so much noise."

"It's none of your business."

"Move out of my way."

I kept looking around, where are all those voices coming from? I looked up to see owls in the trees; I frowned. "Sera, talk to me" he said. I don't want to talk, I want everyone to just shut up. All the voice were talking over each other and I was beginning to feel quite panicked. I continued walking fast through the trees, I need to go home and sleep. I just need to sleep. All of this will just stop. "Sera" Paul said, wrapping his arms around me. I couldn't help feeling venerable. What's happening? What's wrong with me? "Hey, it's okay; don't cry" he said gently, cupping my face in his hands. I tried to push him away from me but he wasn't going anywhere. "Tell me, what do you hear?" he asked. I looked up and realised all the voices were following me; getting louder.

"Shut up" I shouted, they all stopped one by one and just stared at me. It was still quite menacing to have lots of owls and birds just stare. Paul looked up and back at me.

"She can hear us?"

"Did the human just speak?"

"Who said that?"

"Rude much."

They all started again but all talking about me or to me. I can't take this.

"Sera, just calm down" Paul said to me, I buried my head in his neck and placed my fingers in my ears; blocking out the sound as much as possible. I wasn't sure where we were going but once we were back inside the warm I knew I was back at the Cullen's. I just stared outside, silence. It was nice.

"It seems she can talk to animals" I heard a voice say rather bluntly, piercing the silence. Nobody said anything. Yeah, right. I can accept they're vampires, and I'm in love with a werewolf and that's all okay. I am not accepting that I'm a freak, I'm neither of those things; I'm human. And humans can't talk to animals!

"What does that mean? Is she meant to be a vampire or something?" Paul asked, no. Absolutely not. It's not happening, I'm not listening. I just want to pass out and forget this is even going on. I need to go home. I just need some normal back in my life! It's been, what? Not even 4 days, and even since I met him; my world seems to be getting stranger and stranger. How am I supposed to cope? Am I just expected to? Last week I didn't even think love was real.

"I haven't seen it but then again I've never been around her without any wolves nearby" a girl said, I knew they all had things they could do but I'm human. I can't and shouldn't be able to do anything! I stupidly wished for a second that I was back in Colorado and this was just a dream but then I felt sickly bad at the thought. I don't want to be anywhere without Paul, I don't want to imagine anywhere without him or go back to any point in my life that he wasn't there for. It may not be normal, and this may be the weirdest thing I've ever had to acknowledge and accept but if it means staying with him for the rest of my life; whether it's long or short, I'd do anything to make it that way.

"We can try some other time" a male voice said, I didn't know them all well enough to know their voices but I didn't want to turn around.

"We can talk tomorrow, if you're okay with that Sera?" asked Dr Cullen, I nodded gently and walked towards the door again. As I opened it, I heard a very high pitched howl; it sounded like a painful scream.

"Seth" I breathed, before I knew it; my legs had taken off through the trees. What's happened to him? Is there another vampire? I heard Paul running behind me and he phased.

"Get on" he told me, I knew for a fact now he wasn't just talking to me. He bent down and I climbed on, he ran through the trees and we came out at a small clearing. I jumped down from Paul and didn't anticipate the height I was at. I fell over and Paul aided me back up, ow. Twisted ankle. Ow.

"Seth, are you okay?" I asked; he was alone on the floor. I bent down next to him and saw he was crying slightly. "What's wrong?" I asked, he had a gash on his leg which was quite deep. Ouch. It made my twisted ankle look pathetic.

"We'll take him back to Carlisle" Paul told me, I nodded and helped Paul get him up onto his back. It wasn't until I climbed up afterwards that I realised he was naked again. I've seen far too much of Seth lately. I sat behind him and put my arms around him to keep him up. We got back to the Cullen's and Carlisle took him immediately, unfazed by his bareness. I didn't climb down,

"Will he be all right?" I asked Paul, he nodded. "Take me home" I then said gently, he took off through the trees and took me back to my house. Once in my garden, I climbed down and ran into my house. I went to my dad's room and crept in, he was asleep. I stole some of his boxer shorts and went back downstairs. Paul was standing in my kitchen, facing the window; his bare ass too obvious to me and I found myself staring. Deep breath, Sera. Not tonight. I hugged him from behind though and put the boxers on his head, he chuckled lightly and put them on. They were a bit small but sufficed for his privates.

"How do I look?" he asked amused, turning to look at me. I growled at him and he laughed. I took him up to my room and climbed into bed, I felt exhausted. We just lay there.

"Should I have stayed with him?" I asked feeling guilty,

"He'll be fine" Paul reassured me,

"Do you think he'll be mad?"

"Most likely but that's just Seth, he did it to himself" he told me, what? "Just before he phased back into himself; after I phased- I read this thoughts. It was self inflicted, he wanted you to feel sorry for him." Why would he hurt himself so badly just to get my attention? And then it dawned on me how much Seth actually liked me. Not as much as I ever liked him but I sort of figured. He really cared for me. And I felt awful because I felt nothing, not even a little bit of love for him or interest or anything. I just saw him how I saw Tessa, a friend.

"Maybe I should stay away from him" I sighed, "might make him move on faster" I added.

"I have no problem with that" Paul smiled smugly, I can't imagine what it's like for him to hear Seth's thoughts about me. I'd just want to punch any other girl who even showed interest in Paul; he's mine. And then I flashed back to the barbeque. No wonder they were fighting, they were fighting over me. It must have been hard for Paul to watch me so close to him. I smiled back at him.

"I can imagine" I replied, "I'm your squishy" I said in a little voice which he grinned at. He hugged me tightly and I cuddled into his chest under his chin. His smell...I was just surrounded by it. It's so incredible. Even though I was tired, and completely comfortable; I was incredibly hungry. "I feel like eating a Chinese" I commented, he chuckled lightly.

"I could too" he replied, he passed me my phone over from the bed side table and I looked online for a number.


	6. Alice's party

I stared at Paul down by the river in black shorts, he looked so content looking for fish in the water. Staying away from Seth hadn't really worked since I remembered he'd offered me a job, we talked. He said he was sorry for hurting himself, he said he was just desperate for someone to look at him the way I looked at Paul, the way Jacob looked at Renesmé. He'd find her one day, hopefully incredibly soon. Charlie was telling Seth about a rod in the shack, it sounded pretty boring to me so I went back to painting the wood a pale blue colour. The radio was on in the distance, Carlisle had told me keeping a radio at hand would make animals stay away from the noise and away from me. I needed to get used to it the way Edward had to get used to hearing everyone's thoughts.

The past few weeks with Paul had been amazing, I felt like I knew him inside out and yet we still always found things to talk about. He'd uncovered things about myself that I didn't even know, it was a breath of fresh air. I was now back at school but every Saturday I came up here with the boys. I was beginning to really love it as a hobby, it was nice to spend time with them. We all had things to do and Charlie's so kind. He told me things about Bella, and his awkwardness about the guys being werewolves made me giggle a lot. He found it awkward just knowing about it yet I was dating one. I'd spent a little more time with Renesmé lately too, it was nice being around someone who knew what it felt like to love someone unconditionally. She told me her and Jake were planning on getting married in a few years from now, I found it incredibly cute.

I wondered to myself what it'd be like to marry Paul, it had been a recurring thought ever since Renesmé had mentioned it. What would our children look like? I know Renesmé can't have babies, it's an unfortunate thing; she said it made her sad because she knew Jacob wanted them but he'd acknowledged it was never going to happen. Still didn't make her worry about it any less. I wondered if Paul wanted children. I'd never thought about it before now, it'd never been something I wanted but the idea of having a mini Paul running around and calling me 'mommy' just made me grin.

"What's got you so happy?" asked Charlie, I glanced to see Paul looking at me and Seth too. I shook my head gently. Charlie made a grunting noise but smiled at me, I finished the side of the shed that he wanted done and went down to stand next to Paul; my bare feet in the water next to his.

"Hello small Seraphim" he said gently putting his arms around me,

"Tall Paul" I responded which he scoffed at, "So, will thou be attending Alice's birthday party with me tonight?" I asked, I'd been wondering if he was actually going to come with me for a few days. Jacob had mentioned it and I'd received an invitation through the post. It was addressed to my dad, me and Paul. Dad made a comment about it under his breath but I ignored him.

"If you'd like me to" he replied, he didn't seem that fussed though. I was genuinely excited. I shrugged, I could always ask Seth if he's going. Or maybe I could invite Tessa, she'd probably get all done up for it too. I'd even went out with Eleanor and bought myself a black dress with sandals and jewellery. I've never owned a dress before so they should be impressed I'm making an effort, not that it's for them. I wanted to look pretty for Paul so he didn't mind showing me off to the Cullen's friends. "I mean" he said gently as he looked at me, "I'd love to go" he smiled a little. I knew he was just saying that so I didn't respond, I went back to the shed and popped my head through the door.

"Hey Sera" Seth smiled, he was on his hands and knees looking for something. Charlie was outside somewhere, I thought he was in here.

"Oh hey, what're you doing?" I asked intrigued.

"Looking for a girlfriend" he joked, I smirked and he stood up holding out a very small piece of metal on the floor.

"What's that?" I asked,

"A tiny piece of nail, it's for a present I'm making" he told me, he's making a present? "For Alice, I figured she'd like something a bit more personal so I'm making her an ankle bracelet with a wolf and vampire on it. It's not really easy" he sighed. It sounded adorable. I'd just bought her an old book I found, I'd heard her mention reading it once a long time ago. I'd vaguely recalled the name of it and remembered it'd stuck in my head because my dad had a copy of it his dad had given to him. It was practically falling to pieces when I found it in the attic so I glued it all back together and put a ribbon around it. I'd tried to clean it up a bit but it looked so vintage the way it was and I liked it.

"Sounds amazing" I told him, "Do I not get one?" I asked, after all nobody had done anything for my birthday.

"When's your birthday?" he asked,

"A few weeks ago" I laughed,

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked like he was hurt I hadn't.

"It's not an important time of year for me" I rolled my eyes,

"I would have gotten you something" he frowned, "I'll make you something, it's belated but I know you'll love it" he smiled happily.

"I was just kidding but thanks" I winked, he grinned and went back to etching some wood.

"Sera" I heard Paul say outside, I backed out and turned to see him watching me...well us, I let him lead me away from Seth and he sighed. "I'm sorry" he said, "I don't want to go to the Cullen's party" he told me honestly, "but I want to go with you, everywhere with you...even if that means putting up with Rosalie for the evening" he told me taking my hands in his.

"I don't want to make you unhappy" I told him, he smiled at me gently.

"You could never make me unhappy" he replied, he hugged me tightly and I smiled. "I'll have to find me a suit or something" he said amused. He gave me a piggy back all the way home and said he'd come by at 7 to pick me up. I had a shower and shaved everywhere; everywhere! And washed my hair, I sat in a towel while I curled my hair with the curling tong I'd borrowed from Sue Clearwater. It took me about 2 hours to do it but I finally managed and was impressed by my first attempt. I did my make-up slowly too, I've never worn it before so I figured I'd be safe and just use mascara, lip gloss, blusher and eye liner. I watched some youtube videos on how to do it and mastered it eventually. I went downstairs in my bra and sweatpants and cooked myself some readymade lasagne; I ate it by myself at the table and had a drink of milk before going back upstairs. I put my dress of and then my tights and finally the small kitten heals. I've never worn anything like this before and I felt so weird looking at myself but I thought Paul might like it. I still didn't have a very nice bag so I used a black satchel to put my converses in; in case I need to change my shoes, my makeup and my mobile. I sprayed myself with Taylor Swift perfume and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I'd just finished spraying my hair with hair spray when I heard Paul's truck pull up outside. I felt nervous now, what if he hates it? What if he just laughs? What if he takes the piss out of me?

I took one last look in the mirror, the dress fit okay I guess. It was just above knee length and pulled me in tightly at the waist and the bust. It had a gold belt going around it under my boobs, so my sandals had a little gold bow on them to match. It was strapless though so I need to get my coat from the bottom of the stairs. I went down shakily at first but mastered the kitten heals afterwards. I reminded myself that he'd like the dress no matter what and opened the door. He looked so handsome, he was in a black suit with leather shoes and a dark red tie; he even had cuff links on. He's so adorable! I felt so happy he'd made an effort, he really wanted to make me happy didn't he?

"You look incredible" he breathed just staring at me, I grinned and hugged him gently.

"As do you" I replied happily, I stepped back and he just stared at me. I blushed and grabbed my coat from the coat hanger; it was black and stylish. I put it on and closed it up, tying the belt. "Dad" I called, he came down the stairs; sorting his tie out and I smiled. He's also made a nice effort, we looked like we were going to a funeral with my black dress and their suits. He didn't comment on anything about me or Paul, so we just got into the truck and Paul drove us along. We parked outside of their house and dad got out immediately.

"He doesn't talk much, does he?" he asked,

"Nope, never has" I replied. Paul kissed my cheek gently and I smiled, when can we properly kiss? Does he want to? Why won't he?

"You look incredible, seriously; I wish I looked that gorgeous in a dress" he smirked, I giggled.

"You look gorgeous in anything" I replied, he smiled and I rubbed noses with him. He climbed out and helped me down onto the gravel, he shut the car door and locked it; putting his arm around me. I placed mine around him too and we walked into the house, the music was loud. I took my coat off and placed it on their coat hanger and put my bag underneath it after taking Alice's present out; I went up the stairs first and Paul followed after me. He placed his arm around me once again and I did too, we walked through the people until I spotted Alice. We went over and she beamed at us.

"You look so incredible, both of you" she grinned,

"So do you" I smiled, she was wearing a very short pink and purple net dress with pink heals and a pink necklace. Paul handed her a neatly wrapped small box, maybe I should have wrapped mine up.

"Thank you" she beamed happily, she opened it and it was a glittery bracelet with her name on it; with a few charms on. I noticed the vampire theme immediately with the fangs, the cross and the stake. She smiled amused.

"Very thoughtful and extremely tasteful; thank you Paul" she grinned putting it on.

"Mine's not as glamorous" I smirked but handed it to her anyway. It took her a few seconds to realised what it was. She looked ecstatic.

"Where did you find it?" she almost shrieked with excitement, a few people looked at us.

"It was passed down to me" I mumbled, she looked slightly bad then and I knew she was going to offer it back. "I thought you'd like it" I smiled.

"I do! I love it" she said bouncing excitedly, she hugged me.

"Oh wow" I said, hard to breathe. "You're strong" I added.

"Oh sorry" she frowned, that'll probably bruise but I didn't mind. I'm glad she's happy. She hugged Paul too awkwardly and I laughed, she did too; Paul smiled sympathetically. "Thanks so much, both of you" she beamed happily. "Jazz" she said going over to him, showing him the book and her bracelet. I turned to Paul and he hugged me gently; stroking my back where I felt sore. Definitely going to bruise.

"Hey Sera" Seth said happily walking over to us, wasn't he going to say hi to Paul too? He didn't. I guess they're still not on talking terms then. Paul placed his arm around me protectively and Seth rolled his eyes a little.

"Hi" I smiled,

"You look perfect" he told me, I did? I felt myself blush at the word perfect.

"You look very James Bond" I told him, trying to compliment him lightly even though he'd just given me a very big one. He laughed,

"I feel it" he smirked,

"Seth" said his mom from Charlie's side, he sighed and walked off towards her. Paul pulled me into a big bear hug and I smiled to myself. I didn't like that he was wearing cologne; I prefer his natural smell. It was still nice though, he smelled a lot more human in a way I guess. I held his hands tightly and closed my eyes.

"I..." he trailed off, I thought for a second he was going to say he loved me. My heart missed a beat but he didn't continue. "My mom asked me to invite you to dinner tomorrow night" he told me instead.

"I'd love to" I replied, even my voice sounded disappointed. We stood hugging for a few more minutes until Renesmé came over and offered me a drink of cream soda; I took it happily and Paul took a sip, trying it for the first time. He didn't look convinced by it and his face screwed up which made me laugh. "Take that as a no" I giggled,

"I think I'll stick to cola" he told me, or alcohol but I didn't think it was sensible to drink with my dad around. It makes me way too honest and it could end badly for our silent yet comfortable relationship. Paul kissed my neck and I grinned, grr. He's so cute. I really wanted to stroke him and kiss his nose. I hadn't seen him in his wolf state for a while, I was told it was because he'd missed being so human; and with me around he could do normal things. I'd taken him to a cafe in town and we sat, people watching for a few hours and making up scenarios that could be their life stories.

"Sera, it's nice to meet you in a sober state and happy situation" said a guy walking over to us, he must be Sam. I smiled, I sort of felt like I was meeting royalty but realised how stupid that sounded. In a way it was like he was Paul's boss.

"You too" I replied politely, he smiled.

"I heard you've got quite a gift" he said to me, oh yeah. I still wasn't sure whether it was a good thing or not.

"Don't think she's used to it yet" Paul told him, I knew he was smiling though.

"Definitely not" I replied, Sam chuckled lightly.

"This is my wife, Emily" he told me, a woman came over and stood by his side. She was pretty with brown hair and brown eyes, I wondered what had happened to her; she had a scar on her face.

"Hi" I smiled, "I love your dress" I told her, it was simply beautiful. It was a maroon colour that went down to her ankles in a silk type manner; it had short sleeves but a sweetheart bust.

"Thank you" she said gently,

"Come on Paul, I think we should let the girls mingle" Sam told Paul, of course Paul left me with Emily; kissing me on the cheek gently. Emily linked my arm and we circled the room.

"So how's things?" she asked me,

"Things are good, they're going well" I told her, she gave me a slight glance and I realised she was talking about the Paul and Seth situation. "I guess things could be better" I added. She nodded understanding. She took me out onto the balcony.

"I know what you mean" she told me, "it's sort of like my situation with Leah and Sam" she told me. What's her situation? I waited to be told. "Leah and Sam were dating before Sam met me, and you can imagine how heart aching it was for Leah when Sam just stopped having feelings for her" she told me. I can imagine. It sounds horrific, I suddenly felt so sorry for Leah. "And when she changed, it only made things harder; she had to hear all of his thoughts, feel his emotions, see his memories" she went on.

"She must really hate you" I commented out of nowhere, "I mean-" I started, trying to fix how it sounded.

"No, you're right. She does" she smiled a little, "but you can't help who you fall in love with and you certainly can't help who you imprint on or who imprints on you" she sighed. I wouldn't want it any other way. Paul is everything to me. "Seth is very fond of you" she stated, I know. "And he might be for a very long time" she added, oh God. "But I hope it's not long till he and Leah find their other halves" she told me, I smiled a little. Me too.


	7. Kisses

I was dancing with Jasper when Paul and Seth finally came back with Sam behind them, Jasper had taught me how to waltz and I was enjoying it immensely. I'd made a fool of myself for the first few attempts, luckily I couldn't actually hurt him when I stood on his foot although I kept apologising like it did.

Paul took over and he danced with me for a while, when the music stopped; his kissed me gently. I'd been so unprepared for it bit my heart fluttered, my eyes closed and I kissed him back like I'd planned. When I opened my eyes I noticed Paul smile at Seth smugly.

"Unbelievable" I muttered pulling away from him, I walked through the room of people and took the stairs down.

"Sera, wait" he said following me, I took my coat and bag off the peg and left through the open door. "Sera, please. I'm sorry" he said, Carlisle was saying goodbye to some friends when I walked past him; I knew he looked up to ask me if I was okay but I continued walking off through the trees. "Talk to me" he said sadly.

"What about?" I asked annoyed, I put my coat on and put my bag on my shoulder; crossing my arms afterwards.

"I'm sorry, I just..."

"You just what?" I asked, I even felt angry.

"I'm sorry, please don't be angry at me" he said sadly, but it wasn't like my anger was aimed at him.

"I'm angry at Seth, if he didn't like me and didn't keep trying to compete with you; you wouldn't compete back. Then our first kiss would have actually meant something" I muttered, tears welling in my eyes as I walked.

"It did, Sera. I promise you, it did" he said running out in front of me so I couldn't keep walking. He put his arms around me and I looked at his chest. "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I know it's not a competition, I just...I hate how he is around you. I feel so venerable, I can't help feeling like you'd be happier with him" he told me, he eyes sparkling in the moon light because his eyes were watering too.

"That's just stupid" I muttered, still trying my best not to cry.

"I know" he mumbled, "I don't want to lose you."

"Then stop pushing me away" I stated, I knew tears were strolling now. "I don't want Seth, I don't want anybody else; I'd even pass up George Clooney" I told him, he laughed a little and I smiled. "I don't want anyone else but you" I told him, "I love you." He pressed his forehead against mine and picked me up; hugging me tightly and spinning me a little.

"I love you more" he replied, yeah...right... "And I promise, I'll stop being such a moron" he added. Good. Cause I'm quite frankly sick of being fought over. "I promise to be a good little puppy for you Sera, now and forever." I smiled a little and hugged him back, wrapping my legs around his waist. We didn't go back inside, I didn't want to see Seth or my dad for that matter so Paul drove me to his. His mom made us some pizza and chips and we sat on the floor of his living room and ate.

"Okay, so how do you kids play?" asked his mom, she was sitting next to me. I was still coming over for tea tomorrow but this was more of a chilled evening where I just wanted to sleep on the carpet and not move again. I smirked to myself. How do Paul and I play?

"How do you mean?" he asked her,

"Like 21 questions or truth or dare" she muttered,

"Oh, well we haven't really but I suppose we could" I told her.

"Can I pick the questions?" she asked, Paul and I gave each other an awkward glance and she laughed a little. "It'll be fun" she told us.

"Okay" I smiled,

"Fine by me" Paul replied.

"Okay, so question one. First kiss?" she said,

"Today, with you" I told Paul,

"Snap" he smiled, I knew he still felt bad for it and so he should. I've been waiting for it and I thought it was going to be all romantic, turned out he just did it because he could. We are not sleeping together until I'm well and truly sure Seth's gotten over this.

"Question two: Who is the one person in the world you'd love to see walking down the street?" she asked. Easy.

"My mother" I told her,

"Dad" Paul replied, she seemed to halt at that and I knew she felt a bit sad with his answer. I know I did. He'd told me how much he missed his every day. It just made me want to hug him and make him feel better. I knew she wanted to move the conversation on.

"First sexual encounter?" she asked, I burst out laughing and Paul groaned.

"You can't ask something like that" he told her,

"Why not?" she asked, "I know you haven't slept with anyone" she muttered.

"How do you know?" he asked bewildered, I couldn't stop laughing. After the game ended, we got half way through before the questions got so weird we just left the room, I sat next to Paul on his bed awkwardly. I knew he wanted to talk about something. "I want you to stay away from Seth" he eventually told me, saw that coming. "I want to stay away from him, so that I stop wanting to hit him and argue with him. And that'll only happen if I don't have reason to see him around" he explained. I nodded, accepting it.

"Okay, but you have to let me tell him we can't be friends anymore; face to face and I'll tell him why" I said to Paul, he nodded unhappily. I think he sensed he wasn't invited to this conversation. I'd do it tomorrow, the sooner the better.


	8. Waiting

I stared at the ceiling, my eyes picking out all of the dust. Paul's breathing was slow so I knew he was still asleep. I let his chest move my head up and down as he breathed. I just want to spend the day with him today. I don't want to have to think about anything else but I know we can't really relax again until I've told Seth to back off. I looked at his sleeping face as I rolled onto my stomach. I was wearing his grey t-shirt as a night dress. It was comfortable and smelled like him, smelled a bit like me too now though unfortunately. I kissed his chin gently and sat up. I could go tell Seth while he's asleep and then when I get back I can get back into bed or I can tell him I've sorted it all. That way he won't feel inclined to come with and I know he won't be ear dropping on our conversation, not that it bothered me but if Seth says something he shouldn't; Paul might pounce. I climbed out of bed over the top of him and looked through his draws, selecting a pair of his boxer shorts; I put them on and then put his black sweatpants on and tightened them to fit me. I put my converses on and went to the bathroom to wash my face. I left the house after that and walked to Seth's, when I knocked on the door; the door practically swung open before my hand retracted from it.

"Sera" Seth smiled, I smiled a little back at him; I felt bad now. "What's up?" he asked,

"I was wondering if we could go for a walk" I told him, he seemed to sense what was up and the look in his eyes told me he knew what was coming.

"Oh" he said, "sure" he added in a sad tone. He followed me out into the forest and walked for a good 20 minutes before I noticed he'd stopped walking. I turned to him and folded my arms gently. "So, we can't be friends huh?" he asked, I frowned.

"No."

"Paul's demands?" he asked like he wasn't surprised,

"Not just his" I told him, he frowned at me. "I'm tired of this" I told him, "I'm tired of you both fighting, I'm tired of the competing; I'm tired of feeling tired" I told him.

"I'm sorry" he said,

"I know, I know this isn't how you imagined things for us. And I can't thank you enough for making my start here liveable. You've done so much for me Seth, you're a great friend" I told him, he nodded like he didn't really care about what I was saying. He turned away slightly and then turned back, he walked towards me quickly and before I could put my arms out; his lips crushed down on mine. His tongue down my throat. I scrunched my face up and tried my best to push him off me, it felt wrong; it felt so wrong. When he finally let up, I stepped back a good few metres.

"I just wanted to know what it was like" he muttered before walking off, I felt sick with myself. How was I going to tell Paul this? He'll kill him! But I can't keep it from him, I turned and threw up slightly in a bush near me. I hugged my stomach. How could he do this to me? I thought he understood what it meant to be in a relationship. He just forced himself onto me. Some friend! I walked back to Paul's house, feeling sick and dizzy; scared and worried. I didn't know how he was going to react.

Eleanor was sitting at the table having a coffee when I snuck back in, she looked up at me and frowned. "Is everything all right? You look paler than normal" she smiled a little, that's quite hard for me. I'm like snow white, I frowned again though and sat down next to her putting my head in my arms.

"Seth kissed me" I told her,

"Oh" she said,

"He's going to kill him, isn't he?" I asked, I knew she knew what I meant.

"I can't imagine he'll be happy in the slightest but Seth should have known what would happen after it" she sighed sipping her coffee, I sat up and frowned.

"I feel sick, I was sick" I groaned,

"Come on, have some toast. Paul is still asleep" she told me,

"I don't want to eat" I groaned, "I just want things to be calm and normal" I muttered feeling irritated. "I want to hit Seth myself" I added angrily.

"I know" she frowned,

"Hey" yawned Paul walking through from his room in his boxer shorts. I wanted to smile at him but I couldn't help fearing his reaction. He sat down next to me and put his arm around me, kissing my cheek. "How's you?" he asked,

"I'll leave you to it" Eleanor said standing up and going through to her room.

"I went to see Seth this morning" I told him, he looked at me unsure. "Figured it was better to get it out of the way" I added biting my top lip.

"And?" he asked, sensing something was wrong.

"He understood we couldn't be friends" I told him,

"Oh, well good" Paul muttered, picking up a piece of toast off his mom's plate.

"He kissed me" I blurted out, his face changed and his eyes went cold. He threw the toast down on the table and stood up, heading for the door. "Paul" I muttered following after him, "be careful" I muttered knowing I couldn't stop him kicking off. I'd do the exact same thing. He disappeared through the trees. I sighed and kicked the porch post, I sat down on the porch swing and just waited. And waited. And waited.

He was gone all day, and the longer he was gone; the more worried I got. What was going on? Why wasn't he back with me? His mom came out and sat next to me, I was practically eating my fingers. "Want some food?" she asked, I shook my head. "I'm going to ring around, see if Sue knows what's happening" she told me, she went back inside and grabbed the phone; returning to the seat next to me. I watched impatiently as she dialled in Sue's number. She put the phone to her ear. "Hi, Sue. It's Eleanor." She said formally, I wondered if Paul and Seth's fighting had caused a rift between them too but I didn't even know if they were friends beforehand. "Okay, no I understand. I'll ring Emily" she told her, "I'll let you know." She hung up and I waited for her to speak. "She hasn't seen either of them since this morning" she sighed, where the hell are they? She dialled another number. "Hi Emily, it's Eleanor Lahote. I was wondering if you know where Seth and Paul are" she said, "Okay, yeah. Of course, thank you" she said hanging up. "Sam's with them on the beach" she told me. And he couldn't have let me know? I get it, being the imprint means I just have to sit around waiting for him to bother with me.

"Okay, well I best be getting home" I muttered standing up, she called after me but I kept walking. Once in the woods, I darted off into a run and ran home. It was dark when I got back, I ran up the front steps and went inside. Dad was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of something hot and a newspaper in front of him.

"No Paul?" he asked,

"No" I replied going up to my room, I kicked off my sandals and took his clothes off angrily throwing them to the floor. I took a cold shower and put my blue pyjamas on; shorts and a vest top. I climbed into bed and found my eyes leaking. I dried my eyes and buried my head under my pillow. I don't care. If that's the way it is then I have to accept it. I had school in the morning so. That didn't help, I couldn't sleep for ages until I realised it was 5am and I needed to sleep at least a little bit. I fell asleep then.


	9. Anger management

I woke up shivering and cursed loudly, I got out of bed and threw on some jeans with a green vest top and my black hooded jacket; converses also. I made my school bag up and took the stairs down, this weekend has been horrendous. I was happy it was a new day, a new week but I wasn't incredibly pissed that I was practically freezing to death.

"Either sort the damn heating out or I'm moving out, I might die first though" I shouted at dad in the kitchen as I left the house. I went over to my car; black Beatle. I climbed in and put the heating on immediately. I waited a good 10 minutes for the car to warm up before I drove to school. I don't care how I look today. I just want to get warm and forget about my crap house, my emotionless father and my stroppy boyfriend. I parked in the school lot and climbed out of the car, I carried my bag inside and went to my registration classroom. I went straight to the back and fell back into the chair in the corner.

"Hello Sera" Tessa said happily coming in and sitting next to me, I smiled. I'm glad to see her. A new face and someone to make me feel a bit more normal. I was beginning to feel like school was an escape for me to just act and talk about every normal day things. "How was your weekend?" she asked me, settling.

"Eventful" I muttered, "How was yours?"

"I went shopping and got a kitten" she beamed happily, ignoring my response completely. Any normal person would ask what was wrong but I guess I liked she didn't; I had enough time to mope and complain.

"You got a kitten?" I asked smiling,

"He's called Seth" she grinned happily, I felt a twang of guilt. How were all three of us meant to remain friends if Seth and I don't talk to each other. "You can both come and meet him" she said getting her diary out.

"Tessa" I said gently, "Seth and I aren't talking" I told her. She looked confused for a second and then laughed.

"Good one Sera" she grinned,

"No seriously, we're not friends anymore" I told her, saying it slowly so she could take it in.

"Why?" she asked,

"He and my boyfriend don't get along, I had to choose" I told her,

"Seth's more important though, bros before hoes" she said not quite understand the concept. I frowned; Paul is not a hoe. He's a bit of a self centred prick at the moment but not a hoe and is definitely more important to me than Seth.

"Seth upset me, he was out of line. And now we're not friends but we can still be friends" I told her, she got up and walked out. Or not. I guess she doesn't want to be my friend. Why does everyone hate me lately? What have I done? I sighed loudly and kicked the table in front of me, again and again and before I knew it I'd kicked it over and was kicking it to pieces. I hit the wall and threw the chairs.

"Hey, stop it" shouted my registration teacher; I looked up to see at least 10 students watching me as well as Mrs Coats. "Class, out; go to first period" she told them. They left quickly and she shut the door. "Come on, over here; we're going to talk" she said sitting down at her desk. I walked over sulkily and sat down on the table in front of her desk. "What's going on?" she asked me, I shrugged. "Come on, Seraphim. If you don't tell me I'll have to send you to the principal's office for vandalising school property" she sighed.

"Just...I've got a lot going on at home, and Tessa's not talking to me now because Seth and I fell out" I muttered crossing my arms.

"And it makes you angry?" she asked,

"I'm just fed up with things going wrong."

She didn't get much more out of me after that, she gave me a note and told me to go the hospital. The school was recommending I got a councillor to talk to about my anger issues, I went there straight away. I waited in the waiting room and when Doctor Cullen showed up to see me, I knew I wasn't going to get a normal councillor. He smiled sympathetically and I didn't even bothered to smile back as I followed him to his room.

"So, your school are saying you have anger issues" he told me, I nodded. "Does that make you angry?" he asked, I smirked.

"No" I replied,

"Okay, well that's good" he replied, "speaking to you as a friend, Sera, I can't say I want to give you a councillor. They have ways of getting you to talk, they get into your head. And the things that you know can't be spoken of" he told me. I nodded, knowing he was right.

"I just...want some normal back in my life" I told him, he nodded like he understood. "I'm so sick of boys, you suck; all of you" I added. I knew he smiled a little bit but he acknowledged what I was saying.

"Why don't you come back with me? I think you should talk to Bella" he told me, I looked at him unsure. "She went through a similar thing with Edward and Jacob, she also lived with her dad bearing in mind Charlie was very different when Bella first moved to Forks; and she too had an ability when she was still human" he explained, "Your situations are very similar." They really sounded like it, maybe it's a good idea. "And I know she's not your every day councillor but Bella still acts the most human out of all of us; even Renesmé" he added.

"Okay" I told him,

"Good, I'll write back to your school and tell them we've found you a private councillor that the hospital is funding" he explained, "also, I recommend you take up a sport like kick boxing. You seem to act out through violence when you're angry; it seems" he told me.

"Did she write that?" I asked, he nodded slowly. Bitch.

"Fine, whatever; kick boxing. Got it" I said standing up, "I'll come over tonight" I added before leaving. I went straight to the gym from the hospital and went up to the desk. "I'm here to start kick boxing" I told the woman behind the desk. She looked up at me for a second, looking unsure but then looked for a form in her draw. She put it on the desk in front of me.

"It's $6 a session" she told me, I nodded. I filled out the form and handed it back to her.

"When does it start?" I asked,

"There's one in 10 minutes" she told me, good. I really need to relieve steam. I put $6 on top of the form and she took it from me. I went and sat on the chairs in the entrance and closed my eyes. 10 minutes hurtled by and before I knew it I was hitting the crap out of a sand bag in my vest top and underwear. There was only me doing it and a girl who looked slightly older than me, luckily we didn't have to waste time taking turns. She had her own. The guy who was trying to teach me just stood watching me, anger swarmed through me. Stupid boys. Stupid dad. Stupid Tessa. Stupid mom! I felt like all the things wrong with my life were transforming into anger and I couldn't stop kicking and punching the bag like it was a person. It felt so good. The session was only meant to last an hour but I heard the teacher tell the other girl she could go, he let me continue for another 3 hours until I felt so sore and tired; I could barely stand. I just lay on the floor with sweat dripping all over me.

"You're quite the angry chick" my teacher muttered, he was a pretty old guy; grey hair, wrinkles and a strange two piece blue jump suit.

"I know, my doctor recommended kick boxing" I told him through short breaths.

"Ah" he said, "do you feel better?" he asked me.

"Yes" I replied,

"Well then I'm glad it's working. C'mon, the gyms closing soon" he told me helping me up. "You can use a shower if you like" he told me, I shook my head. I put my jeans back on and my hooded jacket.

"I'll be fine, thanks. I'll see you next week" I told him, he waved goodbye and I left. I drove home and took a shower in my own bathroom, I out comfortable black sweatpants on with a blue short sleeved t-shirt and a black cardigan. I downed a litre of water and sighed, taking two painkillers for my sore arms. I drove to the Cullen's house. Carlisle and Bella were waiting for me when I parked,

"Glad you could make it" Carlisle said to me, I smiled a little; feeling better from this morning.

"Come on" Bella smiled, I followed her through the trees and we walked to a small cottage. This is where she lives with Edward and Renesmé. I'd walked past it once but I've never been inside. She took me in and I sat down on the sofa; she sat next to me and I crossed my legs. "How are you feeling?" she asked me.

"Numb" I muttered, "I thought getting all the anger out would make me feel better but now I just feel blank about everything" I explained.

"How did you relieve your anger?" she asked,

"Kick boxing; 4 hours of it" I smiled a little.

"Wow, you must be pretty tired" she commented, I nodded; I was. "So, tell me. What happened yesterday?"

"I went to meet Seth, to tell him we couldn't be friends anymore" I told her, "it's not worth all this stress and it's not worth fighting with Paul over" I added.

"How did Seth take it?"

"He seemed to take it well at first and then he kissed me" I told her, "it's literally impossible to stop a werewolf kissing you" I added slightly annoyed. She laughed a little.

"I know, they're strong guys" she told me, I remembered Paul telling me how Jacob had kissed Bella and she broke her hand hitting his face afterwards.

"I would have punched him but figured it might be déjà vu for Dr Cullen" I smirked, she nodded smiling. "Anyway, I told Paul and of course he reacted the way I expected him to" I told her, she listened. "I couldn't do anything but wait, and the more I waited; the more frustrated I got. I couldn't stop thinking that this is the way it's going to be, I'm so useless. I can't keep up. I just have to sit and wait while he goes and does what he wants when he wants" I told her honestly, "I've never felt so pathetic in my life."

"I understand, really I do" she told me, and I knew she did. "But you have to remember Sera, you're holding all the cards" she told me, "You're not powerless or pathetic" she added.

"Then why won't they think about me before they do stupid things?" I asked, I want them to realise how much this effects me.

"They're boys. They're young boys. They're hot headed, sexually frustrated boys" she laughed, I laughed too. "But seriously, I know how annoying it is. How frustrated you feel. And I couldn't do anything about it either except it was a lot more difficult but Jacob actually went away when I asked him to but I didn't want him to" she told me,

"Sounds confusing" I said,

"Yeah" she smirked,

"I wish Seth would go away" I muttered feebly,

"Do you?" she asked, I frowned.

"No" I replied, "he's a great friend, like a brother I've never had. Nobody's ever stuck up for me as much as he has" I told her. At school mostly. "He made me feel normal" I added.

"And now?" she asked,

"Now he pisses me off" I smirked, "I just...want to have him as a friend, for him to see me as a friend" I told her.

"Understandable" she noted, "I want to ask more about you though, Seth told us about you before we met. He said you were already pretty angry" she told me, he told people that? So much for not bitching about me behind my back. "Why do you feel angry with your dad?" she asked,

"He doesn't bother with me, most of the time he doesn't even acknowledge my existence" I told her shrugging, "It used to feel normal in Colorado, he used to at least try to talk to me; ask about school, friends, boys, hobbies. Even if it wasn't often, he made an effort" I told her. "As soon as we got here, it was like he just couldn't be bothered with me anymore. We stopped talking, we stopped eating together, he doesn't even ask where I've been if I'm late. He just doesn't care" I finished. "I'd rather live on my own, at least then I wouldn't try harder to make him talk to me; he could just get on with his pathetically lonely life by himself like he so obviously wants to."

"Has he always been so withdrawn?" she asked, I thought for a while.

"No, he used to be normal I guess" I muttered, "a long time ago."

"When he was with your mom?" she asked, I shook my head.

"No, my parents split up when I was 2; I can't remember that far back" I smirked, "she stuck around till I was 6 and I haven't seen her since. Dad looked for her, he got real obsessive over it like he couldn't cope with me on his own" I told her, "and then one day he just gave up after two years" I shrugged. "We moved house; still in Colorado. We moved into the one we were in previously, a very big house that created a lot of space" I muttered. "I guess that's when he started withdrawing, not just from me but from everyone. He stopped going out, he just became fixated with his job. I remember thinking to myself once how bad of a doctor he must be if he can't even talk to me. But that's not the case. He just chooses not to talk to me" I explained.

"Have you ever spoken to him about why he doesn't talk to you?" she asked, I shook my head.

"The man can't even fix the heating in my room when it's snowing outside let alone fix our relationship. He has issues, doesn't like talking about emotions. I genuinely can't recall the last time he said he loved me" I laughed lightly, she didn't laugh though.

"My dad was a bit like that when I first moved to Forks" she told me, "and well you see him every Saturday" she smiled.

"He's very nice" I told her, she nodded.

"He changed a lot with me around" she commented,

"Maybe mine will change with me not around" I thought out loud, maybe he needs space from me to deal with all the things I don't know about.

"I doubt it, I think he just needs a push" she told me, "maybe he can come along and all three of us can talk" she said. I wasn't keen on the idea but it might help. "For now though, I want to know more about you. Did you ever find out what broke your parents up?" she asked, I shook my head.

"I thought it was my dad's incapability to express emotion; how do you date someone who can't even say they like you let alone love you?" I asked, a rhetorical question.

"Is that your only theory?" she asked, I shook my head.

"I thought something might have happened, she found someone else or something" I told her, "I know my dad loved her too much to do anything like that to her. That's why he tried so hard to get her back when she left" I muttered.

"Did you want her back?"

"I'm not sure, I mean yeah I guess; I didn't want to not know her. I really wish I did now but at the time it was such a relief to not have them fighting all of the time" I replied, "I was just glad everything had settled down; that dad wasn't so angry" I muttered. "But seeing him angry was a lot better than seeing him the way he is now" I sighed.

"Did your dad see anyone for how he was feeling after your mother left?" she asked, I shook my head.

"Why?" I asked,

"Well when someone you hold very dear to you just disappears, you can feel like a part of you is missing. You go into a state of depression and well, you dad might have just never woken up from it" she told me. I frowned. She thinks my dad's depressed? Should he be the one seeing a councillor?

"How do I fix him?" I asked,

"I'm not sure, look that's just my view on it" she told me, "I know that's what happened to me when Edward left" she added.

"How did you get better?" I asked sitting up,

"I went and stopped him from killing himself" she shrugged,

"You saw each other again, that's what is was wasn't it? If I can find my mom, and they can meet each other; maybe he'll wake up" I said, I'd totally lost track of the reason I was here. "Thanks Bella" I shouted as I darted out of her house.

"Wait, that's not what I meant" she shouted after me, that's exactly what she meant. I just need to hire someone to find my mom, and she'll fix dad and my life will go back to normal at home. Dad will be a proper dad again and I might even get my mom back! I ran through the trees, unaware of Paul's presence until I saw him standing next to my Beatle. I slowed down and edged towards him. He looked sad, he looked like he'd missed me. I didn't realise how much I'd missed him till the sight of him hit me, my heart just felt so low.

"Sera, I'm so sorry" he said gently, "for the way I've been acting, for the way I've treated you" he said slowly. I suddenly realised he'd heard what I'd been saying to Bella; oh crap. So much for having a private conversation when half of Forks can hear you from a mile away.

"It's okay-"

"No, it's not" he said, I stopped in front of him. "I don't want to make you sad, or angry or feel pathetic. You're everything that's right with my world, Sera. And I need to stop focusing so much of Seth and focus so much more on you. I've waited for what feels like my entire life, not knowing how lonely I actually was. And then you came along, and it made me realise that all the times I thought imprinting was pointless; I was just being foolish. Because you're incredible, and you're beautiful and intelligent and mine. And I'm missing that" he rambled, "And I'm sorry" he added. I felt like my heart was practically beating out of my chest, that's the most beautiful apology ever. "I promise from now on, you're the only thing my eyes and ears are following" he smiled. "I'll even let you rub my tummy" he added grinning, I grinned and kissed him gently. His hands resting on my waist as he kissed me back.

"Apology accepted" I murmured, "I need your help though" I told him. He looked intrigued, clearly he hadn't listened to everything I'd been saying. "First of all" I muttered, "Carlisle" I said, Dr Cullen was in front of me in seconds. "I need a sick note for school" I smiled sweetly, he looked unconvinced. "I'll be coming back to see Bella tomorrow" I added, "and I've even paid ahead for my kick boxing next week" I included to make him see that I really was going to stick to getting rid of my anger issues.

"All right" Carlisle sighed, "How long would you like to stay off for?" he asked.

"A month?" I asked, he looked torn.

"If you stop by here for a three hour tutoring every day" he told me, that seemed fair. Three hours of school with Dr Cullen, an hour of counselling with Bella and the rest of the day to find my mom.

"Deal" I smiled,

"I'll write a letter to your school and drop it off in the morning. Be here for 6pm" he told me, my tutoring is in the evening; got it. I nodded.

"That's Dr C" I smiled, I ushered Paul into my car before Carlisle changed his mind. I waved slightly before pulling out and driving home.

"What do you need my help with?" Paul asked as I pulled onto my drive way,

"We're going to find my mother" I told him as I got out, he sat for a few seconds then got out and followed me into the house.


	10. Him

I curled up on my bed and sighed, frustrated by all the numbers and names and things I didn't understand. It was going to be expensive finding someone to find her. We'd moved Paul's computer into my room from his house since he'd been here none stop for two weeks, my dad hadn't even bothered to come up and see what was going on even when I was missing school. We searched my mom's name into Google and loads of Facebook accounts came up but I couldn't remember what she looked like and dad didn't have any pictures of her anywhere.

"I can pay for it" Paul told me, I frowned. I don't want him paying for it, for any of it.

"It's fine, I just need to grow some balls and talk to my dad" I huffed,

"Please don't grow literal balls" Paul smirked sitting on the bed next to me; he stroked my face and I closed my eyes. I felt so calm now, we hadn't seen, mentioned or heard from Seth since the day Sam took them both to the beach. I wondered what he'd said and then shook it from my mind. I don't care, it worked and that's the main thing. "Want me to come with?" he asked, I sat up and climbed onto his knee.

"No" I replied, "I need to do this alone I think." It wasn't going to be easy, comfortable or fun. But I knew I needed to open up to dad, after all he was never going to do it first.

"I'll be right up here" he told me, reassuring me he'd be here if I needed him. I nodded, we kissed deeply and I climbed off his knee. "Bring me some crisps" he told me happily falling down onto my bed; I smirked.

"Okay puppy" I replied, he grinned. I climbed down the ladders and walked along to dad's study, I peered in and saw him behind his desk; glasses on his nose and eyes fixated on whatever he was writing in front of him. I took a deep breath and entered slowly, knocking on his door gently to be polite. He looked up immediately and couldn't even hide the surprise on his face to see me actually interacting with him willingly. "Hi dad" I said gently, he didn't reply. "So um...I've been seeing a councillor" I started, I needed to open up about myself and hope he'd open up back. Then I can ask about mom and see if he at least has a picture. "Dr Cullen recommended her" I added letting him in on that, he might ask Carlisle about me. Doubt it. "She's um...helping with my anger issues" I explained, dad probably wasn't even aware I had them. He did look incredibly confused, I sat down on the chair in front of his desk; showing I wasn't just going to leave again. He placed his pen down but didn't look very relaxed. He still had nothing to say. "I've been telling her about you, and mom and Colorado" I told him, his eyes pained a bit when I mentioned mom. "She was wondering if you'd come with me at some point" I added,

"All right" he replied, good. I don't want to make it tomorrow; it might be too soon and he could freak out but if I make it too far away he has time to back out.

"Saturday?" I asked, that gave him two days and it was the weekend so he couldn't say he had work. He nodded. Well this is progress I guess. "Good" I muttered, "Um, she asked a lot about mom and obviously I don't really remember her" I went on, I knew from his nervous shuffling he didn't want to talk about this. "So I was just wondering if you had any pictures of her or anything? Something I could show her, she thinks that my anger is stimulated from her abandonment" I muttered, that bit wasn't true but he might give it to me if he thinks it will help.

"I don't unfortunately" he told me, I wasn't positive I believed him. "It's all back in Colorado with my parents but you could always give your grandmother a ring" he told me, he wrote down a name and a number on a small piece of paper and handed it to me. "That's your mother's mother, she hasn't heard from her in a long time but I know she lives in Ohio; she could email you some pictures if she wants to" he said. I think this is the most he's ever spoken to me. I took it from him, this will be most helpful. If she still lives there that is or has the same number.

"Thank you" I told him,

"No problem, I have a lot to do" he said uncomfortably, "so if that's all" he added awkwardly. I sensed he didn't actually want me to leave but he didn't want to talk about mom and I got that. I wasn't totally comfortable talking to him about anything else anyway so I stood up.

"Want anything from the kitchen?" I asked just before I left,

"No thank you" he smiled, he actually smiled at me. I wasn't sure whether to faint, jump for joy or just stare at his face.

"Okay" I replied, smiling a little back but not staring or waiting around. I went down and got some crisps, two cans of cola and a box of roses out of the cupboard; I'd been shopping lately for things I wanted to eat since dad only ever got things he wanted to eat. Again, acting like I didn't even live here. I took them up to my room, I threw them up one at a time into my attic door; Paul caught them and I climbed up.

"That went well" he stated as I sat down on my bed, grabbing the can of cola first of all. He opened the crisps.

"Yeah, he actually smiled at me. It was the weirdest thing ever" I muttered remembering it in my head. He smiled a little and put his arm around me, I shuffled closer; keeping warm since it was snowing outside and my room was freezing. Paul had brought more blankets and pillows while he'd been staying here too. I even had an electric blanket I put on throughout the day; I actually love it. I grabbed my phone off the floor next to the piles of paper and notes and newspaper articles and books I'd been looking at; to help me research. I put the number in and rang in, lifting my feet off the cold wooden floor and putting my head on Paul's shoulder.

"Hello" said a voice, it was a woman; and she even sounded quite old. For a second, I couldn't speak. This is my mother's mother, a woman I've never spoken to before or even heard about before now. I mean I knew my mom obviously had a mom who'd be my grandma but I'd never even thought about her before. "Hello?" the voice asked,

"Hi" I said rather awkwardly, "my name's Seraphim Becks. You're Paula Greene, right?" I asked. The voice hesitated.

"That's right" she said,

"You're my grandmother" I stated, the voice again hesitated.

"Yes" she finally said, I smiled a little.

"I'm looking for my mother" I told her,

"I haven't spoken to my daughter in 10 years, I'm sorry Seraphim. I can't help you. Goodbye" she said quickly and hung up, I looked at my phone as it's screen went back to normal.

"What'd she say?" he asked,

"Just that she hadn't spoken to my mom in 10 years" I replied,

"Oh" he frowned,

"I should have just asked her to send pictures...I didn't think she'd hang up" I muttered,

"Well, we can call her back" he suggested. I shrugged, I redialled her number and listened as it rang, she didn't answer this time and it went to voicemail. I sighed,

"Hi Paula, it's me again. Please ring me back. I really just need a favour, thanks." It was short, simple and sweet. I hung up and put my phone down on the pillow. "Guess we just have to wait" I sighed, he nodded. We ate and drank our soda, eating chocolates and throwing them at each other to catch in our mouths. It wasn't till we were lying in bed that I realised was an incredible distraction he was. As we lay there, still, I found myself wondering something.

"Are we ever going to have sex?" I asked,

"Urrm" Paul said awkwardly, my back was against his stomach; I lay facing the wall. "Most definitely" he replied, I giggled at his reaction.

"When?" I asked,

"I don't know" he replied in the same tone,

"Okay" I shrugged grinning, he scoffed and hugged me tighter.

"Why?" he asked,

"Just impatient, is all" I smirked, "but I'm sure it'll happen eventually" I said in a light voice, "good night" I added; amused.

"You can't just bring it up and then let it go" he growled playfully, it sounded so sexual when he said it like that which made me giggle lightly.

"Why not?" I asked innocently,

"Because...I get-"

"Excited?" I asked grinning and wanting to laugh,

"Definitely" he murmured into my neck before kissing it. I grinned and turned my neck, moving so I was kissing his lips deeply. He kissed me back, letting me turn my body towards him before he gently lay me backwards so he was leaning over me; my back on the bed. I closed my eyes and placed my hands on the back of his neck, tangling my fingers in the end of his hair. My heart raced and I felt so awake, so alive. We made out roughly for about 10 minutes, getting more and more excited by the idea of it; his hands roamed my body and I kept biting him gently after I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling our bodies closer together. Finally, he took lead and gently pulled my t-shirt off over my head; continuing to kiss me deeply after. His fingers gently traced things on my bare chest. He then kissed and sucked and bit my neck gently and I grinned; he's giving me a love bite. I felt so impatient though, he gently kissed from my neck down to my chest down to my stomach and stopped at the guarded line of my sweatpants.


	11. Baseball

I stretched my arms and yawned at the same time when I woke up, I opened my eyes; staring at the wall in front of me. This is usually how I wake up. Except usually I'm clothes and have a clothed boyfriend behind me, which I'm not and I don't. I felt so comfortable that I didn't want to move, Paul's arms were tightly around me and his slow moving chest made me feel so calm but I couldn't ignore how badly I needed to pee. I sighed gently and shrugged out of his arms as subtly as I could, I climbed out of bed over him and tip toed to the bathroom, I used the loo and washed my hands before looking at myself in the mirror. Things had gotten pretty intense last night and the bruises on my hips told me so, I felt quite sore but I wasn't expecting anything less. I also had one rather large and very obvious hickey on my neck. Well, I'll be wearing a scarf for a while. I brushed my teeth and combed through my hair with my fingers before going back into my room and climbing back into bed. Once I was settled, Paul's arms came back over me and I smiled. So much for not waking him up. At least he didn't want to get up either, we could just lie here and relax. His hand gently stroked my stomach as I listened to him breathing.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked like he was on another planet.

"You" I replied, he scoffed gently.

"What about me?" he asked, moving closer to me; like he could. He placed his head on my shoulder.

"I miss my wolf" I told him,

"Oh I see how it is, you think he's cuter don't you?" he asked teasing me,

"Nothing is cuter than my Paul" I replied grinning,

"Yeah, yeah" he mumbled, "maybe we can go for a run after breakfast" he said after a few minutes of silence. By that he meant he'd run and I'd ride on his back.

"Sounds good" I replied, we lay for a few more minutes before I turned to him; his eyes travelling straight down to my chest. "My eyes are up here" I told him, he chuckled lightly and kissed my lips. "I think I'll leave the whole grandma thing today, I'll see if I can get any more out of my dad" I told him, he nodded understanding. Things had gone pretty well with him yesterday. "Maybe we could hang out with Jake and Renesmé later" I threw out there,

"Hmm" he said like he was actually thinking about it, "Stay in with my gorgeous, naked girlfriend or go out with Jacob and Renesmé..." he trailed off, I grinned.

"And your gorgeous, hopefully clothed girlfriend" I added, he smirked.

"Fine by me, except the clothed part; I'm seen too much of your clothes" he told me seriously, I giggled. "We're only leaving this room after I've examined every part of you" he told me, examined? I felt myself blushing at how awkward that is. "In fact, I'm going to kiss every inch of you" he grinned, staring at the top of my head. I couldn't help shrieking with laughter when he kissed under my arms; ticklish.

When he was done, I got dressed in his green t-shirt and his boxer shorts before going downstairs. I waited for him to get up, washed and dressed and when he came downstairs in my t-shirt and knickers; I nearly wet myself.

"I think I look sexy" he said placing one of my hair bands on his head.

"You do baby, so sexy" I replied grinning, he kissed me and helped me cook a breakfast for us. Eggs, bacon and hash browns; they were the only things we had left. I need to go shopping later on. It wasn't till dad walked in that I stopped laughing at Paul, the awkward tense air as we all just stood; dad then quietly shuffled out of the room and Paul and I burst into laughter; Paul's face scarlet.

"I'm going to get changed" he said quietly, still amused as he walked out of the kitchen with his head down. I couldn't stop giggling as I put our plates on the table. Poor dad. Poor Paul. It was still funny though, when Paul came back down; he was in brown shorts. He sat down next to me and we ate, his face still slightly red. I washed the plates and cutlery, he dried and put them away. I changed into a pair of denim shorts and a pink lace top with pink vans and then we were off. Paul ran through the forest, me clinging to his fur for dear life. "Still there?" he asked amused as his head flung back to peer at me.

"Trying to lose me huh?" I asked,

"Never, baby."

When we got to the Cullen's, we saw they were packing up their cars. What's going on? Paul lowered himself and I got off, walking towards Renesmé. "Hey Sera" she smiled,

"Hey" I replied, I glanced to Emmet who was putting some baseball bats into his jeep.

"We're going to play baseball, you want to come?" she asked grinning,

"Baseball?" I asked, she nodded. It sounded fun but I was terrible as it and I figured I'd not be allowed to play since I can't run fast or hit very well.

"Yeah, it's fun" she said happily, "Jake's coming too" she added. There goes my hopes to hang out.

"You and Paul should come, it'll be interesting" Edward said walking out, I looked at Paul and he shrugged; his wolf form still made me want to go 'aww'.

"Where at?" I asked,

"The clearing" Renesmé told me,

"Okay, we'll meet you there" I told her, she nodded. I grabbed a handful of Paul's fur and pulled myself up onto his back; him standing up as soon as I was on. He ran off but not fast enough for me to miss Renesmé ask why they never did that and Jake reply saying she could run faster than him. We got to the clearing in no time and Paul lay down on the field; I lay next to him; using his paw as a pillow and his head as a sun block for my face. It was about 10 minutes before Embry, Quill and Jared turned up in human form.

"We got a late invite" Quill told us, I smiled a little. I didn't stand up or even move though, I was comfortable.

"Congrats on last night guys" Embry said, amused. Oh God, I forgot they can see each other's memories when they phase. How awkward. How embarrassing! Paul growled at him and he smirked. I knew my face had gone pink. Luckily the Cullen's had turned up in their cars so we didn't have to continue the embarrassing conversation. I stood up and Paul licked my face, I smiled at him and stroked his chin.

"Hey, guys. I just heard" grinned Jake walking over to us,

"This is not happening" I muttered to myself, Paul growled lightly again. He went off into the trees and came back with his shorts on, he walked over to me and smiled; touching my pink cheeks. No need to make it more obvious. Renesmé stood next to me and Jake stood next to Paul.

"No need to be embarrassed, Sera. It's a well known things that werewolves are great in the bedroom" Quill said, grinning. "Right Nessie?" he said,

"I will break your knees" she responded which made us all laugh a little.

"Sera, you're with me" Esmé said, I moved to her side.

"Surprised she can still walk" Embry joked,

"Can you break his knees for me?" I asked Nessie,

"Sure" she replied, taking a step towards Embry; he stepped backwards quickly and looked slightly scared.

"We're going to make sure there's no cheating" Esmé told me,

"Boys against girls" Emmet announced,

"That seems a bit unfair" Jake muttered,

"Bring it on" Alice replied, they all got on sides and we realised there was quite the absence of girls.

"We can play with just us" Nessie said,

"One of the boys can go on your side" Esmé said,

"What about Paul? He seems in a pretty girly mood today" Embry said, I burst into a fit of giggles picturing him this morning. It seems last night wasn't the only thing the wolves got a glimpse of today. Even Edward chuckled behind me. Embry and Quill were howling with laughter too.

"You're hilarious" Paul muttered, walking sulkily over to the girls team.

"What?" Jake asked,

"I want to know" Nessie said afterwards. I finally managed to calm myself down and just smirked at Paul; apologetically. It was funny though.

"Don't worry Paul, you looked so shmexy" Embry said in a sassy voice as he went out into the field; girls are batting first. I giggled a little to myself at that too. Paul just stuck his tongue out at me, his cheeks heated. They got going with the game and it turned into a very competitive competition; girls won though by one point.

"I'm clearly the reason we won" Paul smirked at me as we walked through the woods; hand in hand. I was swinging my arm a little bit.

"I agree, you made a superb effort; even if you were playing for your feminine side" I grinned, he smirked. We were alone again at last so he didn't mind talking about it. He'd silenced Embry and Quill about it on the playing field after all their jokes. "I was thinking of making a tyre swing for my garden" I told him,

"I have a tyre" he told me, I smiled.

"And I have rope, sorted" I said. I'll do it next week.

"I have a surprise for you" he said suddenly, I looked at him; waiting. "I know it's really late but I needed to save up for it; so it's a very belated birthday present. Practically a Christmas present now" he scoffed. He bought me a birthday present?

"You didn't have to" I said, he shook his head.

"Nonsense, of course I did. So I finally had enough to buy it" he smiled, I hope it wasn't too expensive. "And well" he said pulling me by the hand. He took me back to my house and I saw some men standing outside of the house. Who are they?

"I don't understand" I said to him, he grinned and took me over.

"Hi guys, this is Sera" he told them, they were quite young looking in matching jeans and t-shirts.

"Hi Sera" they both said at the same time, weird. I smiled anyway.

"So we've looked at the room, we're figured it'll take us a few weeks but it should be easy enough to replace the flooring with heated panels and laminate tiles" one of the guys told me, his moustache distracting. What's he talking about? "It shouldn't be difficult to decorate either, we've worked out a way to get a walk in wardrobe in there. The window's quite a problem so instead of fixing it, we're just going to get rid of it and put double glazing in there" he went on, are they talking about my room? "We need to talk to you about colours, and hopefully you'll come pick your curtain fabric out and wallpaper" he told me. I looked at Paul confused and he scoffed before grinning.

"You bought me a new room?" I asked shocked, he laughed a little.

"I couldn't have done it without your dad, he's paying quite a bit of it" he told me, dad came out as he said it. I grinned,

"You guys are the best" I grinned hugging Paul and then my dad, dad hugged me back awkwardly.

"So are you willing to come look at designs?" the guy without the moustache asked me,

"Hell yeah" I replied, they all laughed at me. I followed them and dad and Paul came with me to their head quarter building. They showed me blue prints and designs, I decided on a black, white and silver colour scheme. The patterns for my wall were swirls and I was so excited when I saw the plans for my walk in wardrobe and on suite bathroom. I sat on Paul's knee as we waited for his mom to get back, I'm staying here while they're doing my room; dad's okay with it. I've made plans with him to go home for dinner every evening and have it with him, he said he'd like that. I think Bella was right about me opening up first to him, he might open up to me sooner than later. We were watching some comedy program while the pizza in the oven cooked. "I'm back at school on Monday" I muttered, it was still 5 days away but it still sucked. "I'm gunna miss spending all my time with you" I added with slight humour. But it was incredibly true.

"Me too" he replied sadly squeezing me gently,

"I don't want to go back" I sighed, "I have no friends, my teachers hate me and everyone avoids me" I muttered, picking at my nails. I was actually nervous. "I like Carlisle's tutoring, I wish I could just make him my full time teacher" I scoffed smiling.

"What if I came with you?" he asked, I looked at him confused. "To school" he added.

"You'd actually go back to school?" I asked amazed, he smiled a little.

"If it made you happy" he replied,

"I don't want to make you, I'll be fine" I replied cuddling into him. "I'm just moping, I'm sure I'll find someone who doesn't make me want to kick the crap out of them" I grinned slightly.

"I want to" he said after a few minutes, I looked at him and smirked.

"You want to go to school?" I asked amused, he rolled his eyes a little and smiled; inferior to mine.

"I want to spend as much time with you as possible."


	12. School

I took hold of his hand tightly as we stared at the school steps, I knew he was nervous. Paul hasn't been to school for a long time now. He smiled down at me but not in a convincing way. I wanted to remind him again that he didn't have to do this but I knew he'd just say he wanted to. In a way, I was chuffed. I didn't have to come back and be alone. And I didn't have to face Seth alone since I'd not seen nor heard from him for ages. Paul took a step forward so I walked in; him at my side. He had to go the Principal's office first, I waited outside for him. Once he came out, he hugged me gently. Is he okay? I wasn't sure.

"Hey guys" I heard Embry say, Paul and I turned to see him and Quill walking down the corridor. I grinned, maybe Paul will enjoy this more with his brothers here.

"What're you doing here?" I asked, Paul stood behind me.

"We heard puppy was going back to school, figured we couldn't miss it" Embry grinned,

"Call me that again and I'll-"

"Play nice, puppy" I said gently, he looked unimpressed at me but couldn't help his smile. Embry and Quill just continued smirking at him. "Well, off we go" I sighed crossing my arms. Paul walked me to my maths class and then left to go to his own. I noticed a few people glancing at me throughout the entire lesson like I wasn't supposed to be there, I did manage to concentrate better knowing Paul was nearby. After my lesson, I waited outside for him to come and collect me. I showed him where the gym was and kissed him goodbye; I was on the other side of the school for art. I was a few minutes late but Miss Jen didn't mind, we were told to do portraits today. Everyone had to choose their own partners and I found I was alone. She came over sympathetically.

"You can do a friends portrait if you can remember their faces properly" she told me, "maybe you have a picture on your phone." I didn't need a picture to remember every single little detail about Paul's face. I started and by the end of the lesson I was nearly finished, I noticed Paul waiting outside of the classroom. When the others had left, I waved him in and he came in slowly like he wasn't sure he wanted to come in. He looked so cute in dark blue jeans, a white shirt with a navy blue jumper over the top and a lose black tie. He'd even worn leather shoes for this. He looked very smart and a lot older but then again; he is a lot older. He came and sat down next to me and scoffed a little when he saw what I was doing.

"I swear you make me better looking" he smiled putting his arm around me, I rolled my eyes and pecked his lips gently before making him do a small pose and letting me finish. He couldn't stop grinning, when I was finished I took it over to Miss Jen who was at her desk; I knew she'd been watching us. I wrote my name on the back and she smiled looking it over. I loved drawing, I didn't do it often but it was a nice ability to have. Paul got my bag and coat and came over to me, he didn't have them over; instead he wrapped both arms around me and practically carried me out of the classroom. We walked around the school while we were on our break and then walked to biology together; I grinned. He was in my class! He wasn't allowed to sit next to me but when I realised the girl who usually sat next to me wasn't in; I asked and Paul was allowed. He settled nicely next to me and moved himself closer so our legs were touching. All the way through the lesson, we kept kicking each other gently. I couldn't help grinning, I managed to do all the work though and when I was done. I turned to Paul and just stared at him, he continued to do it but kept smiling at me. I put my head on his shoulder and he rested his head on mine. I watched as he wrote stuff down, his made more sense than mine but I couldn't be bothered to change it. When the lesson was over, we went to the cafeteria and took a seat at a round table at the far end of the hall, "Why all the way over here?" he asked.

I pointed to the table at the furthest point away from us where Seth and Tessa sat, Seth obviously trying to ignore us and Tessa just scowling at me. He sighed and put his arm around me, I saw Embry and Quill come in; they looked torn on who to sit with but I think they realised that well...Paul's their third in command and Seth's not even a part of their pack anymore so they came to sit with us.

"There are some very pretty ladies at this school" Embry smirked,

"Down boy" Paul replied which made Quill laugh and me smile.

"Maybe if I inspect all of them individually, I'll find my own squishy" he smirked,

"No, that's it. Stop it, no more conversation or situation references. You weren't there; you pretend you don't know" I told him pointing my fork at him. He held his hands up like a surrender.

"Fine" he smiled, Quill just grinned and Paul chuckled a little; kissing my cheek. "Maybe I'll find my imprintee" he said rephrasing his point.

"Maybe but aren't we like meant to find you and not the other way around?" I asked, they all glanced at each other at that comment. "What?"

"You might have a point but then where do I go? Where would she find me?" Embry muttered to himself, have they never really thought of it like that? I found Paul and I know Jake found Nessie but the only reason he went back for her is because she wanted him to. Strange bonds. But I'm still incredibly happy to have mine, I looked up at Paul as he ate an apple. He peered down at me from the corner of his eye and I grinned. I suppose even still though, I owed Seth for inviting me to that party. Who knows how much longer it would have taken Paul and I to find each other. Paul tightened his arm around me and kissed the top of my head. I noticed that a lot of people were looking at us; more specifically Jasmine and her table of friends. Glaring more like. I could just imagine them slating me or bitching about me. I wonder how Paul would take it if Jasmine confronted me again today; I don't think I'd handle it if someone was horrible or threatening towards him. After lunch I went to drama and sat down on one of the chairs; three rows put together in a hall. Jasmine and her crew sat behind me so I crossed my arms and tried to switch off but it wasn't long till I heard her trying to get my attention. She didn't have it till she said:

"I heard you're trying to find your mom, have you checked all the whore houses yet?"

Where the hell did she hear that? The only person that would know I'm looking are the wolves and the Cullen's. I didn't think Paul would mention it to her; he knows I hate her. I frowned, my mom is not a whore. I remembered what Bella had told me though, about her wanting a reaction out of me so I just sat silently. I felt in my gut I knew exactly who would tell her such a thing, the only person who was angry enough at me for everything that had happened.

"Or maybe she's back at the children's home trying to find a better daughter than she originally got" she went on, I didn't see how that was offensive; I could have been adopted but I highly doubt it. I was just getting more annoyed that she thought she knew me. "Or maybe she hated you so much she killed herself." That hurt. "Or better yet, maybe your moronic father murdered her." Instead of turning around and punching her like I wanted to, I left the classroom and went to find where Seth was. I found out from the front desk that he was in music with Tessa; Paul's in there too. I waited, anger building up inside of me. When I saw her leave the classroom I moved forwards and before she could even say my name; I slapped her really hard across the face. The people filling out around her all looked but continued shuffling. Seth and Paul just stared at me in shock.

"That's for telling people about my personal life" I told her angrily, then I stuck my middle finger up at Seth. "And that's for telling her" I told him.

"There was no need" he said defending her,

"No need? There are people walking around saying my father's a murderer!" I spat at him, "you're an utter c*** " I told him. He looked shocked at that, I walked away and found myself going back to drama; Paul ran after me.

"Hey" he said gently hugging me, I wanted to cry at how my anger was turning into sadness but I wouldn't. I'm proud. Nobody knows what they're talking about. Seth doesn't even know what he's talking about. I felt slightly bad about using that word but at least now he knows he's really pissed me off.

"He hasn't done anything wrong" I said sadly into his chest as he rubbed my back,

"Of course he hasn't" he replied gently, my dad's a lovely person. Even if he doesn't show me the attention or love that I want, it doesn't mean he's capable of murder. My mom's alive somewhere, she's just too well hidden. "Come on" he said putting his arm around me,

"I wish I could just scare her into backing off" I muttered, talking about Jasmine. "But I just end up getting myself into trouble" I sighed. After school we were sitting on the beach when I noticed Embry was walking with someone. Oh no. It hit me, he imprinted. On her?!

"So much for scaring her off" Paul muttered, "come on, we don't have to be around them" he added. We stood up and as we were about to leave, Embry came running up to us.

"Guys wait, I want you to meet Jasmine" he said, Paul and I looked each other with a slight annoyance. We waited though and Jasmine came over to us, she just looked at me unsure and like she was going to say sorry. I take it she knows about the wolves and imprinting. I don't care who imprinted on her, I don't even care if she's sorry; she's no friend of mine.

"Hi" she said gently to me, I turned away and walked towards Emily's. "Sera, wait" she said following me. "I'm sorry I've been a moron to you" she said, I don't care. "But come on, what did you expect me to do? You nearly broke my jaw" she said defensively, I didn't think about it like that. If she hadn't been a bitch in the first place, I wouldn't have reacted so badly. I slowed down and she walked at my side. "I know that doesn't excuse the way I've been acting towards you, and talking about your friends and family like that was way out of line. Especially about your dad. I had no right" she said sounding a bit breathless; I take it she doesn't do a lot of walking fast.

"No you didn't" I responded,

"I don't expect you to forgive me but...I could really do with a friend" she said,

"You have friends" I muttered getting annoyed at her presence. We were nearly at Emily and Sam's house now.

"I mean like...a friend I can talk to about all of this" she replied,

"That's a shame" I replied,

"Sera, please?" she asked, she sounded like she was begging.

"Unless you want me to actually break your jaw this time, I suggest you stay away from me" I told her before slamming the door to Emily's in her face. I turned to see Emily cooking and Quill and Clair sitting at the table. I took a seat next to them.

"Take it you met Embry's imprintee" Quill smirked a little,

"I actually loathe her" I replied,

"My daddy says you can never loathe someone that you haven't killed yet" Clair said gently, she was adorable.

"Don't tempt me" I replied putting my face in my hands.

"Are you hungry?" Emily asked, I shook my head.

"No thanks" I replied, I sat back and looked at Clair drawing. "It looks just like him" I smiled at her, she grinned happily; she was drawing Quill. He seemed pleased that she was happy.

"Listen Sera, I'm having to rush home to help my dad out. Would you be able to walk Claire home?" he asked, I nodded.

"Sure" I smiled, "hey, I have a question. If you and Paul are practically brothers; does that make me like a cool aunt" I said, referring to Claire. He smiled and so did Emily. "Cause I'd be an awesome aunt."

"She's not my child" he pointed out,

"Well she's like your little sister" I said thinking about it, "ooh, we can be pack sisters" I told her

"Yay" she said excitedly, I grinned and Emily laughed a little.

"I'm going to have to run, I'll see you tomorrow morning" Quill told Claire, he kissed the top of her head and she hugged him gently before he left.

"Can we go to the beach?" Claire asked me, I frowned. I didn't want to see the others but I'd like to spend time with her, maybe Paul would too.

"Okay" I said, she got up and went to the door and sat down; putting her shoes on. Claire's about 4 now I think, she's still very small for her age but she had beautiful thick brown curls that went down her back. I wondered briefly if my baby might look like her; olive skin, brown hair, brown eyes...like Paul though of course. She got up and waited for me to move, I went over to her and got her coat down from the hanger and helped her put it on. She held her arms up to me and I picked her up.

"Here, take these in case you guys feel peckish" Emily said, she handed me a brown bag that I had a feeling she'd put sandwiches in.

"Thanks" I smiled,

"Thank you Emily" Claire said afterwards, I took the bag and carried Claire outside. I took her to the beach and saw Paul sitting with Embry and Jasmine. Traitor. I took her in the other direction towards the rocks so she could climb on the small ones. I put her down and took my coat off; the cold air was piercing but I didn't mind. I took my socks and shoes off and rolled my jeans up. "Can I take my coat off?" she asked.

"No, sorry honey" I told her, she frowned but didn't ask again. I chased her around slowly for a while and we made sand angels. It was about 20 minutes later when Paul joined us, he sat down and watched us paddling in the cold water. I didn't let her go in far though so she didn't get wet and cold. I picked her up legs first and ran through the water with her shrieking with laughter. I grinned and put her on my shoulders going a little bit further into the water. When I walked back to Paul, I gently put her down and she bounced up to him.

"Hi Paul" she said,

"Hello Claire" he replied happily, I sat down next to her and helped her make a sand mountain. I think he gathered I wasn't talking to him so he moved closer to me and wrapped his arms around me.

"No" I said gently, trying not to smile.

"I'm sorry" he said,

"No, you're a traitor. What is he?" I asked Claire,

"A traitor" she repeated me, he scoffed a little.

"I can see how it's going to work when we have children" he said amused, I felt a little glow inside of me that he'd thought about it too.

"You're not getting any" I smirked, "from now on, I'm not putting out. No traitors are allowed-"

"No" he whined nuzzling my neck.

"You brought this on yourself" I laughed because it was tickling me.

"Are you having a baby?" Claire asked,

"No" I smiled at her when Paul stopped; I can't stay mad at him.

"Are you going to have a baby?" Claire asked afterwards, I wasn't totally sure what to say to that. Pau and I haven't even talked about marriage and babies yet; we've not even been dating a year. I know we both know we're going to be together for the rest of our lives but it didn't seem like a necessary conversation to have.

"Um maybe" I replied to her, "one day" I added.

"Do you want a baby?"

Will she just stop! Oh God, I stuttered. I did, yes. I've always wanted one deep down, the maternal aspect of my being only woke up after Nessie mentioned marriage and babies and now I want nothing more than to have Paul's child but I know that things like that freak guys out so I wasn't going to tell him. Now if I say no, he'll be able to tell I'm lying.

"I have Paul, he's pretty much a baby" I replied, not answering the question. He chuckled and pulled me into his lap. I held his hands and watched as Claire continued what she was doing without looking up or responding. Paul and I walked her home, holding onto her hands. When we got back to his we slumped down on the sofa.

"So...babies huh?" he asked, I take it something is on his mind.

"Mm" I responded,

"You want one" he said, I thought it might be a question but it was pretty much a statement.

"One day" I replied, he nodded.

"And marriage?" he asked, I wasn't sure what to say to that.

"I'd love to marry you" I smirked, "but again...one day, they're not exactly things we have to rush into" I muttered.

"I agree" he smiled, I smiled back and he put his arm around me.

"Just to see where I stand-" I went to ask him what he wanted.

"I want nothing more than to make you my wife and the mother of my children" he replied, now...or later? It didn't matter, I was happy with the response. We watched a film and snuggled up on the sofa.


	13. My holiday

I stood next to Paul happily as we had our picture taken, dad was thrilled that I'd graduated. I'd never seen him so happy, even though we'd been getting along better recently. He attended my counselling sessions every week now, we're talking a lot more and he even told me he liked that I was dating Paul. He and my dad seem to get on like a house on fire. Eleanor had tears in her eyes.

"You're both so grown up" she said sighing, dad just looked uncomfortable and I laughed. I gave her a hug and she smiled hugging me back. I love Eleanor, she's like the mom I've never known. She looks after me so much, sometimes even more than dad.

"We'll have to get going if we're to make our flight in time" dad said, I wanted to smile but I felt sad that I was going to be leaving Paul for an entire week. Dad's taking me to Spain for a week; a present for graduating. Paul hugged me tightly, picking me up and spinning me around. I don't think I've even gone a week without him since we've met; 8 months of spending practically all of our time together.

"Facebook me when you get there" he told me, I nodded after he put me down. Eleanor and dad walked in front of us towards my dad's white jeep. Paul was going home to get his car and taking it to mine; Eleanor was coming with us so she could drive our car back from the police station. We wanted to do it the other way so Paul could come to the airport but he doesn't have a proper driving licence and there's a chance he might be pulled over. He gave me a long passionate kiss before walking me over to the car, I hugged him again tightly and got into the car. I put my seatbelt on and he waved gently looking sad, I smiled a little and he smiled back. Dad drove off and I frowned, I felt sick at the idea of going. It wasn't worth missing him so much over but I was very appreciative that dad was doing this for me. Paul told me it was a good thing; dad and I might bond if we're on holiday together and he can't work.

When we got to the airport I gave Eleanor a hug and she took the car, dad and I carried our suitcases into the airport and checked in. We sat in Starbucks and had a coffee and a small cake before going to our gate and going through airport security. I put my headphones in for an hour while we waited and dad read his book, I was texting Paul at the same time.

Me: Miss you already! :O Don't know how I'm going to cope waking up without you :(

Him: I didn't even think about that :( I'll have to make a replica of you and hug it

Me: Send me a picture ;) I'll just have to put your picture up next to my bed 3

Him: Oh I will ;) aww, so sweet 3

Me: I know I am ;)

Him: I know you are ;)

Me: Ooer ;) 3

Him: Grr ;) 3

Dad looked at me as I was sitting grinning to myself, I stopped and put my phone down for a few minutes until I could stop smiling wildly. We continued flirting until I said I had to go, I got on the plane and turned my phone off. Taking off was scary, I've never been on a plane before and I wasn't exactly ready for it. When we were up, I felt fascinated and excited. I then got bored and put my headphones back in. We were on the plane for ages. I fell asleep eventually and woke up when we were about to land. I sat up and yawned, dad smiled at me gently. I held onto his hand tightly as we landed, making whimpering noises which he chuckled at. We talked about what I was going to do now I'd finished school, I told him I was going to open Harry Clearwater's bait shop properly.

"I need to go and meet some suppliers with Charlie when we get back" I told him, "he's happy that I'm taking it on though. He's not been well lately" I frowned, Bella was really worried about him. He was in his mid 50s now, still healthy and not yet retired though. Still got some time left in him for work so he can't run the bait shop with me full time. Seth's stopped coming up which I'm grateful for. "I also need to go and talk to Sue Clearwater" I eventually said, "I don't want to open it back up if they feel it's disrespectful" I sighed. He nodded.

"That's good of you" he said, we waited for our luggage and took a cab to our hotel. It was 5 star and looked incredible, we went straight up to our rooms; double bed rooms next door to each other with a shared bathroom. I put my picture of Paul on my bedside table and arranged the bed so I could lie on two pillows and hug the other two. I opened the window and went through the bathroom into dad's room, he'd not touched anything but put his clothes away and put his suitcase under his bed.

"I'm hungry" I announced, he nodded. It was just after 10 so the food hall was closed by I'm sure dad and I can find somewhere to eat. We went down to a small cafe down the road after I changed into white denim shorts and a blue vest top and blue flip flops. I put some low factor sun cream on and platted my hair. I ate pancakes and dad had a sandwich, we both had coffee. I learned something shocking; dad speaks Spanish. "How come you've never told me?" I asked,

"It never came up" he replied, nothing much ever does. I didn't say that though, I've learned dad doesn't take well to me making sour comments like that. He's opening up slowly but surely and we're at least talking now.

"Well, I'm jealous. I have no patience for other languages" I told him, expect animal languages of course; that I seem to be a natural at. I've managed to channel them out now, I still can't cope to grips with it so most of the time I pretend it's not there.

"It wasn't easy for me either" he smiled gently but he stuck to it. Maybe that's how he sees being a dad, it's not easy for him to look after me and show me affection but he stuck to his duties and well here we are; finally learning about each other after nearly 19 years. After brunch we went for a look around, we hired bikes and went down to the beach. I sunbathed for a few hours and when we got back to the hotel, I did a happy dance because my skin had browned a little bit. I went on Facebook and messaged Paul; he'd only created a Facebook so we could talk without making our phone bills sky high. I told him what I'd done since we got here and about my small tan already. Dad and I went to a pub around the corner from the hotel and he allowed me to have a small glass of wine. I know I'm an adult but I'm still not allowed to drink at home till I'm 21 so I guess I can't complain at dad for trying to keep some order with me. We talked about his school years, I knew he met mom at college but he didn't mention her when I asked about his medicine degree. I checked Facebook again when we got back and saw I had a message from Paul:

**I'm glad your journey was safe, sounds like you're having fun already. It's going to be strange seeing you with a tan but I'm sure you look gorgeous as always. Stay safe, baby. Talk soon. **

I wondered why he sounded so robotic but I just shrugged it off, I closed my laptop and went to bed. In the morning I was woken up by dad using the shower, I went in after him and dried my hair with a towel. I chose a white dress today and kept my hair down, I wore white Goddess sandals and we went to breakfast. I had an English breakfast which was nice and filling, I noticed dad was wearing knee length shorts with a white short sleeved shirt and sandals too; smart but casual. We went to the beach again for a few hours, talking about politics strangely. We went to the swimming pool in the afternoon, dad taught me how to dive and how to swim on my back. It was nice spending so much time with him and it was only our second day; he ordered room service in the evening and sat in his room watching old Spanish films with subtitles. Afterwards, dad taught me how to say a few Spanish things and I taught him how to whistle.

Me, Facebook:

**Went swimming today; learned how to dive. Going to be showing off a lot when I get back! Found out my dad can speak Spanish and has a lot to say about politics; how strange. I'm enjoying spending time with him; he's such a different person here. What have you been doing? **

I put my phone on charge and fell asleep, I miss him so much. It took a few hours for me to drift off but I did eventually. I slept in pretty late but dad didn't wake me, we just got to breakfast but I was in my blue spotty pyjamas because we had to just get up and go. When we went back to the room, I changed into my green skirt and green bikini top; my bottoms on underneath it. I wore my white sandals again and took my white strap bag.

"I need to find presents" I smiled at dad, he nodded. We went to the market and I looked around, I got Eleanor a locket on. Inside I put a rose petal because she told me that was her favourite flower and she loved the petals of it. I got it engraved on the back with her name. I got Charlie a bracelet with wooden fished on, I got Renesmé and Jake matching silver bracelets with their combing names on: Renescob. It was terrible but I thought they'd find it funny. I bought Claire a little wolf teddy with her name on the collar, Quill a pen with a feather on and Embry a lucky penny. I felt opposed to buy Jasmine anything but dad told me to play nice since she did in fact invite me to her birthday party which I still didn't go to. She'd sent me texts, letters, dropped cookies off for me; trying to bribe me to forgive her. So, I bought her a pink and purple friendship bracelet; matching mine and Emily's. I got Jared a key ring which had his name on for his bike key since he keeps losing it. I got Sam a baseball cap with Alpha written on it; I figured he'd find it amusing.

I wasn't positive if the Cullen's would find any sentimental value from anything I got them because even though I spent a lot of my time with them; I don't think they found us to be close. But I got them all silver necklaces with their names on and little fangs on either side of it. Besides Renesmé. I thought Rosalie might hate the fang idea too so I got two flowers put on hers. Even though I had looked for hours for something for Paul, I couldn't decide on anything. Dad had turned into my pack horse, he was carrying all my bags and I could tell he was getting tired and frustrated with my indecision to just buy Paul something simple.

"Why don't we come back tomorrow?" he asked me, I frowned. I wanted to go to the museum tomorrow and spend the day there with dad; he was apparently very fond of museums.

"I'll be back as soon as I've found something, go home; relax for a while" I smiled at him, he didn't need to be told twice. He kissed my forehead before disappearing, I sighed and continued looking. I thought about dream catchers or bracelets, I even thought about getting us two separate heart necklaces that joined together to make one heart but I found it all to be very tacky. There was nothing that would make him see how much I loved him by just looking at it. I even thought about buying him a ring and proposing but that seemed a bit drastic. Just as I was about to go back to the hotel, I saw a shop across the street. That's it. Nothing would prove more to him how much I love him than something that would remain with me forever. I crossed the street and went inside the small building. "How much for the name Paul to be inked on my chest?" I asked, the woman behind the counter looked bored with her life; it was incredibly warm in here even though the sun was setting.

"Depends how big you want it" she said, chewing gum and looking me up and down. I thought about it and frowned, I don't want it massive and I know he wouldn't think any less of it if it were small. I looked at a few designs that could go around it and finally decided on getting a small wolf outline tattooed on with his name inside of it. "I'd like the wolf to be black and the name to be red" I told her, Paul's favourite colour.

"That'll be 42 euro" she told me, I nodded. I gave her the money and she took me through to the back. I felt scared now; not because of the needle but what if he hates it? Then I can't ever get rid of it. I didn't think he'd hate it but I've been wrong about a few things with Paul before and we've never talked about tattoos. It made no difference now; she'd started. I just lay there with my eyes closed feeling the weird sensation on my chest. Afterwards she showed me it and I smiled; it was perfect. Even if Paul didn't like it, I liked it. She gave me some cleaning products for it and put a band aid over it for now. Dad might freak when I show him but I'm 18; I can do what I like.

I walked back to the hotel and when I got back, I hesitated before taking the band aid off. I knocked on dad's door and he opened it immediately, it was almost like his eyes went straight to it.

"What have you done?" he asked like he hated it, I frowned.

"It's more permanent than any other crappy gift I could have gotten him" I muttered going back to my room,

"Sera, you've not even been dating a year" he complained, "how do you even know if you'll be with him that much longer? You're young" he added, I get where he's coming from. If I hadn't been in my situation I'd never have done it but I know we'll be together forever. I guess it was hard to explain that to dad.

"Well it's done now so you can't do anything about it, it was my decision" I told him, he sighed and just stared at me like he was angry.

"It's incredibly immature of you but you're right, it was your decision but that doesn't mean I have to like it" he replied before going back to his own room; great. I frowned and sat down, maybe tomorrow won't be as good as I thought. I hope he's not mad at me for the rest of the week now. I went down to dinner by myself, leaving him to sulk. I ate chips and steak alone and just sat there till closing time. When I went back to my room, I found dad sitting on my bed. "I'm sorry" he said, I frowned and sat down next to him. He then showed me something I'd never noticed before; on his chest where I'd gotten mine; he had my mom's name with mine underneath it. I suddenly felt a lot more loved. "When I was 19, I got your mom's name tattooed on my chest. We'd been together just over a year" he told me, "and after she left, I hated it; so I figured to make me feel better whenever I saw it; I'd put your name underneath" he told me. "It was a big mistake getting her name tattooed on me, Sera" he sighed.

"Well...even if Paul and I have a kid and get divorced. If my child's half as awesome as me; would it really be that bad?" I asked, he smiled to himself and hugged me tightly. I hugged him back.

"I really hope that it works out for you two" he said gently,

"Me too" I muttered, he pulled back.

"I love you, Sera. I know I don't say it a lot and I have a peculiar way of showing it" he said, "but I do." I grinned and hugged him again.

"I love you too dad."


	14. No show

I finished unpacking all my stuff and looked at all the presents on my bed; who to start with? Who am I kidding? I wanted to start with Paul but he hadn't met us at the airport and he wasn't waiting here when we got back, I felt a little hurt that he didn't want to see me as soon as possible but I suppose he's busy. I put all the presents into my backpack and walked to the Cullen's, Renesmé greeted me at the door and hugged me tightly. It really hurt my chest but I pretended it didn't. I wanted Paul to see it first.

She took me by the hand inside and I took my presents out for them, "Necklaces, a bit girly isn't it?" Emmet asked smiling. "Just kidding; it's awesome. Thanks" he said, they all said thank you and I smiled happily.

"Coven hug?" I asked holding out my arms, they all glanced at each other but moved forward slowly. "That's what I'm talking about" I giggled when they all hugged me at the same time. Nessie lifted me up and I shrieked with surprised. She giggled.

"Well that was awkward" Jasper muttered,

"We'll never speak of it again" Emmet agreed as they all went back to their seats; I grinned.

"Well, I'm off to see Emily and Sam. So, I'll see you Friday" I said,

"See you Friday" Bella replied, I smiled and left. It took me about an hour to walk to Sam's but when I got there I was greeted with open arms so it was worth it. I gave them their presents and Sam was especially ecstatic with his; Claire and Quill turned up so I give them their presents and they seemed happy enough with them.

"Have any of you seen Paul?" I asked feebly, hoping they wouldn't sense the hurt in the words that he hadn't found me. Emily saw through my straight away though. The boys glanced at each other like they were hiding something and I just shrugged. "Okay, well I'm off to pay Jasmine and Embry a visit so... see you guys later" I muttered leaving, I had to go back to mine to get the car to drive to Jasmine's but it was a nice walk back and a good drive. It distracted me from the growing sick feeling I had that Paul didn't want to see me. I was practically in tears when I arrived at her house so I took a few deep breaths and knocked on her door. Embry answered.

"Hey Sera, are you okay?" he asked, I smiled and ignored the question.

"I brought you guys presents" I said, Jasmine seemed thrilled I was here and ushered me inside straight away. Even though I wasn't very fond of her, she was a good talker and it distracted me from the way Embry was looking at me concerned. They both loved their presents.

"I hope you had a good time, you're so brown; I'm jealous" Jasmine smiled at me, I smiled back.

"I think it's actually impossible to tan in Forks" I smirked,

"Tell me about it" she grinned. I had a cup of tea with them both and left about an hour afterwards to go to Paul's house. Eleanor answered the door, now I felt panicked that I hadn't seen him all day. She didn't seem fazed to see me though, I gave her the locket and she beamed happily. I looked around trying to sense if Paul was here but got the feeling he wasn't unless he was hiding in his room from me.

"Did you have a good time?" she asked me, I nodded.

"It was good, I enjoyed spending time with my dad" I commented,

"That's good" she smiled, I nodded again. After I left her house I stopped by Sue's. I knocked on the door and waited, it took a few minutes but Seth finally answered it; he looked undecided about whether he was happy or sad to see me.

"Hi" I said awkwardly, "is your mom in?" I asked.

"No, she's...busy" he said, oh.

"Okay" I said turning away.

"You're welcome to come in and wait" he said, I guess I could. Even being around Seth would distract me from feeling miserable. I went in and sat on the sofa awkwardly; Seth next to me. "So...how was your holiday?" he asked, I didn't feel angry at Seth anymore. In fact, I missed him a lot. I wondered briefly if he still fancied me or not.

"It was nice" I said, "dad and I bonded a lot."

"I'm glad" he replied, we sat in an awkward silence. We were watching a comedy program which we both seemed to laugh at the same things. It suddenly went from awkward to comfortable. "Look, Sera. I know you're probably still angry with me but you have to know; I didn't tell Tessa those things for her to spite you" he told me.

"It's okay, I'm over it; no more school" I shrugged,

"And I'm sorry I ruined our friendship" he added afterwards,

"I'm sorry too" I said, feeling like I'd played a big part in our friendship not working out. I felt bad now, I didn't have anything to give him from my holiday but then again; I don't even know if we're still allowed to be friends.

"So...why aren't you with Paul?" he asked, I shrugged. "Everything okay?" he asked.

"I haven't seen him today, not sure where he is" I shrugged again,

"I can go have a look for him if you like" he said sitting up,

"It's fine" I replied, he watched me carefully probably guessing it wasn't fine but he stayed where he was. It was another two hours before his mom showed up with Charlie and Leah.

"Hello Sera, long time no see" she smiled gently at me, I smiled back. Leah went to her room and Seth stayed on the sofa; I sat at the table with Sue while Charlie was making some food.

"I wanted to ask about Harry's bait shop" I told her, she smiled gently nodding. "Is it okay if I work there full time now that school's over?" I asked, even Charlie seemed surprised at that.

"Really? I would have thought you hated it. Don't you get bored?" he asked, I shook my head.

"Quite the opposite actually, I love being up there" I replied,

"I'm thrilled, really Sera. And I'm happy you came to ask too" Sue smiled at me, "Harry would be thrilled too to know someone was looking after it and running it" she grinned. I smiled.

"Well thanks" I said,

"Can I work there too?" Seth asked, peering his head in the door way. I smirked.

"It's more your shop than mine, you tell me" I said.

"Great, so tomorrow?" he asked excitedly,

"Tomorrow" I repeated,

"I spoke to our supplier; he said we can go and meet him on Monday" Charlie told me, sitting down at the table.

"Okay" I nodded,

"So till then there's not much to do up there" he frowned, a few days with nothing to do. I didn't mind.

"I was thinking of cutting the grass around the shed actually, maybe planting some flowers or something" I told him,

"Give it a woman's touch" winked Sue,

"Sounds lovely" Charlie smiled,

"I'll bring the grass cutter tomorrow" Seth said,

"Good stuff" I smiled, "We'll have to drive down to the flower shop at some point too so I'll make sure my cars well protected from soil" I told him.

"Cool" he said,

"Yeah, well anyway. I best be going; it's late and I promised my dad I'd sort his computer out" I said.

"No problem, thanks for stopping by" Sue said,

"See you later" Charlie added, I smiled and got up. Seth walked me out to my car.

"I'm really glad we're okay" he said,

"Me too" I replied, "I've missed you" I grinned. He hugged me gently and opened my car door for me. "Thanks" I said, I climbed in. "See you tomorrow."

"See you" he said, I drove home and parked in my drive way. I got out and went up the steps to my front door,

"Sera" I heard Paul say, I turned to see him walking out of the trees towards me. He looked smartly dressed. He came up and stood in front of me. He hugged me tightly and I hugged him back; lose. I felt slightly annoyed that I'd been here practically all day and he hadn't bothered to even text me. He stepped back and smiled, I smiled slightly. "So, how was your holiday?" he asked, I was getting tired of people asking me that.

"It was good" I mumbled, he nodded and I nodded a little afterwards.

"You're so tanned" he smiled, touching my face. I was incredibly tanned. Not that you could tell much in the dark.

"Yeah...the sun does that to me" I said dryly looking at the floor.

"Are you okay?" he asked,

"Yeah" I smiled, it wasn't terribly convincing but at least you could say I wasn't trying to be blunt that his absence had pissed me off. He just stared at me unsure. I didn't really want to have this conversation tonight anyway so I decided to distract him. "I um...couldn't find you a present that I thought was good enough" I told him.

"That's okay" he said smiling, he didn't want one?

"But um...I-" I said pulling my top down a little so he could see my tattoo. He just stared at it. Not smiling, not saying anything. "You hate it" I said,

"No" he said quickly, which meant he hated it. "It's just...you didn't have to mark your skin for me Sera" he said.

"Okay" I said dully, backing off to go inside.

"Wait" he said, "I have a surprise for you" he said, he did? "But I'm sensing you're pissed off at me" he added afterwards; slowly. "So I guess it can wait" he muttered.

"Okay" I said again, I went inside and shut the door slowly. I sighed and went to my room. I fell onto my bed and just lay there, dad's computer can wait. I felt terrible. I shouldn't have acted that way. I just wanted to curl up and die but instead I cried. I do a lot of it, it seems. I can't believe he doesn't like it. I know I said it didn't matter but I genuinely thought he'd see why I did it.

I just lay awake all night and when morning came, I just stayed in bed. I finally climbed out of it when I heard dad cooking, I changed into jeans and a long sleeved black t-shirt. I put my phone in my back pocket and my credit card in my bra. I went downstairs and grabbed a slice of toast sitting down at the table. Dad looked over at me.

"You look tired, is everything okay?" he asked, maybe I should have washed my face. I probably look like a state.

"Yeah" I mumbled,

"Where's Paul?" he asked, I shrugged. "Everything okay with you guys?" he asked slowly.

"Yeah dad" I sighed, "everything's peachy." I got up and walked out, straight out to my car. I drove to the bait shop and parked; Seth was already here cutting the grass with his CD player blaring out music. I smiled to myself.

"Hey" Seth said over the music, I turned it down and he came over and stood next to me. "Wow, did you sleep?" he asked, I look that bad?

"Not in the slightest" I grumbled, I went inside the shop and tidied up a bit; cleaned and dusted. I listened as he finished cutting the grass and I sat on the floor with my back against the counter. I wonder what his surprise was. I sighed, I should just get rid of the tattoo. Dad was right. It was a mistake. Even he didn't like it. I stood up and looked on the computer at tattoo removals; surgeries. There was one in Seattle which had a number for it, I rang it and listened for someone to answer. "Hi, I was wondering how much it is to remove a tattoo that's 3 by 5 centimetres" I said.

"It'll take about 3 or maybe 4 sessions" she informed me, "and it's about $300" she told me. Great. $40 to get it, $300 to get rid of it.

"Okay" I said,

"Shall I book you in?" she asked,

"Yes please" I replied,

"We have an appointment tomorrow" she said,

"I'll have it."

"Great, it's at 11 o'clock" she told me,

"Okay" I said.

"Can I take your name?" she asked,

"Seraphim Becks" I said,

"And your telephone number" she said, I told her it. "Thanks, see you tomorrow" she said.

"Thanks, see you then."

I sighed and sat down again, it's going to hurt really bad; I can tell.

"You have a tattoo?" Seth's voice said, I looked up to see him standing in the door way with his arms crossed. I shrugged.

"It doesn't matter anyway" I muttered quietly, "he doesn't like it."

"Oh" he frowned, he came and sat down next to me. "Want me to come with you tomorrow?" he asked, "I've heard it can be quite scary" he muttered.

"Thanks, I'd really appreciate it" I murmured.

I heard a hard hammer knock on my front door and I got up, dad was at work so I was the only one in. I climbed down my ladders and took the stairs down. I opened the door and Paul pushed himself inside. I found myself moving backwards, his lips came down on mine as he held me in place. I have totally missed kissing him. Even if I was annoyed, I found myself kissing him back passionately. I pulled myself up so I could carry my arms around his neck and my legs around her waist. I felt him move, the door shut and when he put me down I was on the sofa; he moved on top of me and we continued kissing.


	15. Good morning

I lay breathing heavily while he kissed my neck, so much for being mad at each other. That has to be the most passionate sex we've ever had. Or most needed. He pulled me up and took my place so I was lying on him, he kissed my hand and hugged me gently keeping me close. "I wasn't expecting that" he chuckled lightly, "but um...I came by to say sorry" he said. I moved so I was lying next to him, both of us on our sides. I really hope dad doesn't come home soon. This would be an awkward sight. "Seth mentioned your appointment tomorrow" he sighed, looking at me; I looked at his chest. "I don't want you to get rid of it" he told me, he didn't?

"But you hate it" I muttered,

"I don't hate it, Sera" he said slightly amused, "I love it. It's the most incredible thing anyone's ever done for me" he said, gently touching around it. It still hurt a little. "I just...I wanted you to know that you didn't have to, I know how much you love me. You don't have to prove it with gifts or tattoos" he said. I guess that made sense.

"Why didn't you just say that?" I asked still looking at his chest.

"I don't know" he sighed, "I wish I had" he muttered putting his chin to my forehead.

"I'm sorry I was in a bad mood" I muttered, "Just thought you'd have wanted to see me" I added sounding sad, my eyes even watered.

"I did" he said panicked, "I did, I swear down I did" he said hugging my tightly. "I'm so sorry" he said, "I got distracted with...my surprised and then time got away from me and I wanted it to be perfect. I should have come to find you first, I am so sorry" he rambled.

"It's fine" I sighed,

"It's not, there's no excuse. I'm going to make it up to you, I promise" he told me kissing my neck.

"I think you already did" I giggled,

"Well then I'd like to make it up some more" he said flirtatiously. I grinned,

"I'd like that."

We took it to my bedroom after that so dad didn't walk in on anything bad, I made sure the sofa was clean too though because that would be an awkward confession to make to dad. I put my pyjamas on and he wore his boxers as we made some pasta; we ate at the table and he helped me fix dad's computer. We watched Finding Nemo on the sofa before he carried me up to bed because I was practically unconscious.

"You didn't sleep at all?" he asked, I shook my head. "Me neither" he sighed.

"Guess we don't sleep well when we're on bad terms" I smirked with my eyes closed, he kissed my bottom lip gently.

"Seems that way" he murmured, he cuddles into me and we fell asleep.

In the morning, I heard creeping in my room and opened my eyes to find dad looking for something. I'm so glad I was in my pyjamas, I watched him carefully and then cleared my throat and he looked at me like he'd been caught in the act. "Can I help you?" I asked, I said it quietly though because Paul was snoring lightly and I didn't want to wake him up. I climbed out of bed and tip toed over to him.

"I'm looking for your diary" he whispered seriously, I stared at him unsure and then he laughed. "I'm looking for a cable for my computer" he muttered. "You said you had one for your laptop so I was hoping it'd be easy to find" he muttered.

"A USB?" I asked, he nodded. I went under my bed and pulled it out of my laptop bag. I handed it to him. "Thanks" he whispered before creeping over to my ladders.

"You guys are really loud whispers" Paul murmured, I grinned and went over to my bed; I purposely fell on him and he jumped a little at the shock. He locked his arms around me and turned over so I was forced back onto my side of the bed closest to the wall.


	16. Engagement

I sighed gently, turning onto my stomach. I looked at the 1 carat gold ring on my finger. It's so beautiful and I'd never admit it to Paul but I'd looked up rings online and one similar to this came to 6 grand just for a ring. So either he got it for a deal or he's been saving up for quite some time. I didn't ever want to take it off; it's perfect. And on the inside it has 'forever' engraved.

"Cold feet already?" asked Paul, his eyes still closed. I smiled.

"Not in the slightest, I just love looking at it; it's so beautiful" I grinned happily, he smiled. I put my chin on his chest. "It's our engagement party today" I smiled excitedly.

"I haven't forgotten" he smirked, he sat up and I sat up too. He'd only proposed two days ago, apparently he'd been planning it for a while so our party was arranged for today; giving me yesterday to go out with Eleanor to pick a dress for today. We'd also had a look at a few wedding dresses but we didn't tell Paul that. I have no idea what kind of dress I want to wear, I'm so scared I'm not going to find one that I like. I don't even know what budget we have either.

"Sera, have you seen my silver tie?" dad asked up the ladders, I thought.

"Is it in your bottom draw? It might have gotten put in there after my birthday party" I shouted,

"Thanks" he said after a few minutes; obviously finding it. Dad wasn't totally pleased I was getting married at 19, and with not being able to tell him about Paul being a werewolf that had imprinted on me; I didn't really blame him. But he was being a good sport, I'd also pointed out that he and mom and had married at 19 too and that if he complained he was being a hypocrite.

"I think secretly he's thrilled you know" Paul murmured, I smiled.

"Of course he is, who doesn't like weddings?" I asked, he smirked.

"Well, I for one; am going to love the next one we go to" he winked.

"Mm, I might too if the cake's good" I replied, he laughed a little. I climbed out of bed and pulled him to his feet. "Go home, your mom has something for you" I told him.

"Is it a new suit?" he asked, "Cause I already have a suit; I only need a new one for the wedding" he sighed.

"Well then you have a new engagement suit and you can have your wedding suit" I grinned, we saw it and thought it'd look nice with my dress. My dress is silk underneath and net on top; it goes down to the floor and is brown most of the way down till it cross fades into white. I love it. I got brown ankle boots to go with it and I'm going to be putting a brown dip dye on my hair. This also goes with the hairstyle that I know I want for my wedding so Eleanor said that I may as well do it today. It'll be a surprise for Paul; hopefully he likes it. His suit is grey with a brown tie and brown waist coat and brown handkerchief.

"Fine" he smiled, he gave me a gentle kiss before getting dressed and leaving. I took a long bath and washed my hair with baby shampoo. I wrapped it up in a towel and shaved everywhere. I put moisturiser on my legs and sprayed under my arms. I dressed in my jeans and white vest top. I left my room and went downstairs, I ate breakfast with my dad and then left. I drove to the hair dressers and went inside for my 10am appointment. It took about 2 hours for them to dye, cut, dry and style my hair. I paid $80 for it, I drove home and found Eleanor waiting on the steps. She stood up as I got out.

"Your hair looks incredible" she grinned,

"I love it" I grinned back. We went inside and I laughed when I saw she'd changed my living room into a dressing room. Dad was in his suit already, he looked very nice. I did a wolf whistle. "You might pick up a lady at this party looking like that" I smirked, he chuckled and tucked in his shirt in the mirror. Dad went into the kitchen so I changed into my new black lace underwear and dress quickly and Eleanor zipped up the back. It's a bit lose on me because they only had a size 10.

"I went and found a ribbon to use for the belt for the dress; this is as close to the colour I could get" she told me collecting it off the table. She helped me up onto the coffee table and I had to stand still while she fitted it around my waist; pulling the dress in. She pinned it and then used thread to stitch it to the dress. She then redid the straps so the dress was held up properly. She helped me step down and I put my white ankle socks on before putting my new shoes on. I went over to the mirror and smiled at myself; I love the dress.

"I just need make-up" I said happily,

"You don't need make-up" my dad muttered, "you look beautiful."

"Thanks dad" I smiled, he kissed my forehead.

"Come, sit" Eleanor smiled happily, I went over to the sofa and sat down. She did my make-up and made it look natural yet pretty with brown eye shadow and sparkly brown eyeliner. When she was finally done, I had a small glass of champagne with my dad and Eleanor before Renesmé and Jake arrived. I opened the door, she was dressed in a light pink silk dress that stopped just above her knees and she had pink sandals on too; she was wearing the bracelet I got her and I saw Jacob was too.

"You look so beautiful" she beamed hugging me tightly, I hugged her back and then Jacob.

"You really do" he said afterwards,

"Watch it, the last wolf that told me that got decked off my fiancé" I muttered smirking, he chuckled lightly. My dad handed them a class of champagne and we made a toast to me; dad pointed out we'd make one just to Paul later so he didn't feel left out. I was happy that you could see my tattoo even with this dress on; I wanted everyone to see it. "Is everything ready?" I asked,

"Yes, Alice, Rose and my mom have been ordering everyone around all day to make sure it is perfect" Renesmé grinned, good. I'm glad I chose them to be my helpers.

"I felt awful asking them to do it at such short notice" I admitted,

"Oh God, don't feel awful at all. Alice and Rose have been thrilled about it; they've never had so much fun and the short time space only made it more exciting for them. My mom's been having a great time too obviously; she's not keen on making everything perfect but she has done wonders on your cake which yours truly also helped with" she winked at me, I'm glad they've had fun.

"I can't wait to see it" I grinned,

"It fits perfectly in with the colour scheme. We didn't have enough time to tell everyone about the whole brown and white thing but since your cake was already going to be white; mom and I worked our magic on it" she explained, my dad just watched us carefully. I don't think he'd caught onto the fact that Bella was her mom which is a good thing; she should really watch herself saying things like that around humans that don't know.

"Well I'm sure Esmé did a lovely job" I smirked at her, she looked confused for a second and then glanced at my dad.

"She always does" he muttered before taking a sip, he seemed genuine about that. Dad likes Carlisle and Esmé; he's very fond of their jobs and he thinks it's incredible that they've done so much for so many 'teenagers'.

"Yes, well" Renesmé smiled, "shall we go?" she asked. I looked at the clock on the wall.

"We were thinking about arriving a little bit late to let guests arrive" Eleanor told her,

"Oh okay, I don't mind; gives me time to drink more. This is really nice champagne" she said, I grinned. We all had another glass.

"So, have you any ideas on what kind of wedding you want?" Jacob asked, "I ask because Paul has no idea what you want" he added which made us all laugh.

"In all honesty, neither do I" I shrugged, "I think it'll have to be a joint decision on everything but my dress" I told him.

"Can I come?" Renesmé asked excitedly, I grinned and nodded.

"We looked at a few yesterday when we were out but it just confused you more didn't it?" Eleanor asked,

"Yeah, I wanted something like off Cinderella story" I laughed,

"Her dress is so pretty" Renesmé said in awe,

"But I tried it on and it just looked ridiculous; with my height and frame...I just looked like a child in fancy dress" I sighed,

"Oh" she frowned, "well we could always look at thinner ones" she shrugged.

"Why don't you get one designed?" Jacob asked, "isn't that what Bella had for her wedding?"

"Bella's married?" my dad asked, I shot Jacob a warning look and he laughed.

"Not really, she and Edward dressed up for Halloween; we made them have a pretend ceremony" he said, Renesmé and I chuckled pretending to remember it. Dad didn't look convinced but he smiled anyway.

"Let's get going, I'm too impatient; I just want to be there" I laughed, "Oh and I was at the bait shop this morning; ridiculously early" I told Renesmé. "I invited a girl called Rio, so make sure she's got a seat" I told her.

"Got it, I'll text my mom" she muttered, this time I think she actually meant Esmé. We left after that and dad drove us to the beach is his car. Once we got there, I was greeted by a very handsome looking werewolf. I grinned and climbed out of the car, he automatically touched my ringlets.

"Nice hair" he grinned,

"Thank you" I smirked, he kissed me gently.

"You are gorgeous" he told me,

"You're not too shabby yourself" I winked recalling the first time he'd told me I was 'beautiful'. He put his arm around me and shut the car door.

"I'm just going to drive Eleanor back to hers so she can change" dad informed me, I suddenly felt bad. I hadn't even given her time to get ready.

"I'm so sorry" I said to her, she grinned.

"Don't worry about it, I won't be long" she told us, she touched Paul's face gently and kissed the side of my cheek. Dad pulled out and they drove off. Renesmé linked onto my arm and held Jacob's hand on the other side.

"I don't know about you guys but I am so excited" she beamed, Paul and I chuckled lightly. "Oh, I didn't get to say; nice job on the ring Paul" she told him,

"Why thank you, seems you're not the only one impressed by it" he smirked kissing the side of my head. We walked down onto the beach and I looked around in disbelief. They'd set up a gazebo and there were tables inside; all white with brown table centres. The gazebo had net curtains that were held open with brown bows. There were tables with food on again with brown bows on. There was a small stage with a DJ on it who was playing music already, a big wooden slate had been put down so people could dance on it. I saw that there were designated places for bonfires and there were people walking around in white jacket sits carrying silver platters with champagne classes on.

"What do you think?" Renesmé asked,

"It's incredible" I breathed,

"Yay" she said; releasing both hands from me and Jake and clapping them excitedly. She towed me down, pulling Paul along too; down to where a ribbon parting was; The beach had been closed off with a white ribbon with only one entrance and exit. People could obviously walk underneath but I doubt they were going to. "We cleared it with...Charlie, so that the beach is officially ours today" she told me.

"We rented out our own beach" I smirked at Paul,

"Seems that way" he smiled, he kissed my lips gently and we hugged.

"Won't you have time for that later?" asked Embry teasing, he walked over to us and have me a little hug. Jasmine hugged me tightly and I laughed.

"You look incredible" she told me,

"So do you" I replied, she was wearing an ankle length black dress with a silver belt and black flip flops. Her hair was curled tightly and pinned up; she wore slightly heavy make-up but she still looked so pretty.

"Sera" shrieked Claire running over, I picked her up and threw her up in the air before catching her and placing her on my hip.

"You dress is beautiful" I told her, she was wearing a blue silk dress and her hair was putting up into a bun with a blue flower bobble around it.

"So is yours" she grinned, she handed me a small present.

"For me?" I asked, she nodded. I placed her down and bent down to open it in front of her, it there were two handmade friendship bracelets; white with a purple bead on it. "I love it" I grinned, she helped me put it on.

"That one's for Paul" she told me, I grinned and put it on his wrist.

"We're bracelet buddies" I winked at him, he chuckled. He bent down and smiled at her,

"Thank you" he said, he kissed her forehead and she grinned happily running off back to Quill who was standing down the beach talking to Charlie. All the people I knew turned up and a lot of Paul's friends from school, friends from the area and even long distance family members came. They all came and introduced themselves and by the end of the night I was sick of saying 'it's nice to meet you'. I was glad Rio came, she brought her sister and they seemed to have a good time talking to the wolves. I think she'll be a good person to work with.

I slow danced with Paul in my bedroom to some classical song, it was so perfect. He's so perfect. "I had an incredible day today" I told him,

"I'm glad, I really enjoyed it too" he told me like he was on another planet; either that or just incredibly tired. I stopped and smiled up at him.

"Time for bed" I said gently, he chuckled.

"That obvious?" he asked, I kissed his chin and turned around. I waited and he unzipped the back of my dress slowly; I stepped out of it and picked it up; putting it on my desk chair. I took the boots off and the socks. I felt Paul's hands stroke down my side gently and he kissed the back of my neck from behind. "You are so incredibly gorgeous" he breathed, I felt butterflies in my stomach and grinned. I turned to him and he put his hands on my hips; pulling me closer to him.

"We said we'd wait" I told him,

"We don't even have a date" he pointed out, kissing my neck and squeezing my ass.

"No but maybe then we'll decide faster" I smirked pulling away and winking at him, I turned and climbed into bed; pulling the covers over me.

"But-but-but I can't cope" he said,

"It's only been two days" I laughed, he climbed in behind me and put his arms around me.

"But I'm sexually frustrated" he whined,

"You've got hands, don't you?" I asked smugly. He continued to whine into the back of my neck.

"Baby" he whined. I laughed and turned to him. I kissed him gently and tangled our legs.

"If you can give me a date" I said, he thought for a second.

"13th April; the day we met; the best day of my life" he said.

"And my birthday" I grinned.

"Yes, and your birthday" he said. "So technically, you'll be 20 when we get married" he winked.

"Okay" I said smiling, if that's the date that means the most to him then that's the date we'll get married on. I pulled myself up onto him and kissed him which made him grin.


	17. Halloween

"I have a surprise for you" Renesmé beamed, appearing in my room. I looked up from my university acceptance letter and smiled at her.

"What?" I asked, I put it down on my bed side table with the other 4 and climbed off my bed.

"Your Halloween costume" she grinned handing me a pink paper bag with black straw handles. I looked at it unsure.

"I've never done the whole Halloween" thing I mumbled,

"Why not?" she frowned, she looked worried I wasn't going to go with her tonight. I of course wasn't going to let her down, and Edward had paid me $20 to keep her happy about it as she loves Halloween. I looked in the bag and raised my eye brows; I pulled out a grey leotard which I saw had a bit of fluff stitched on the back; it was accompanied by grey bunny ears.

"I've never seen the point of it" I mumbled,

"I got you matching shoes too" she said, ignoring my comment. She put them down in front of me and I looked from the shoes to her and back again.

"They're a bit high" I said, what else could I say? I don't even think I'll be able to walk along the landing in them never mind around Forks.

"You, Jasmine and I have matching costumes so you have to wear them" she told me, oh.

"Oh."

"Good" she smiled, she didn't exactly give me a choice. "I'll wait downstairs" she said. She left and I undressed, I changed into the bunny costume and looked at myself in the mirror.

"I look fat" I commented, Renesmé was behind me in seconds.

"Nonsense" she grinned, "you look sexy" she winked. She helped me into the heals and I turned to my side putting my hands on my stomach.

"I seriously-"

"No you don't" she snapped, "you look incredible, Paul will agree." I wasn't going to say it again in case she bit my head off so I shrugged, I felt incredibly self conscious. I put my coat on and took the heals off, climbing down my ladders and going downstairs. I drove Renesmé to the Cullen's house and took my coat off before going inside the house. I put the heals on and climbed the stairs wobbly. I got to the top and Paul just gaped at me.

"I feel ridiculous" I told him, he grinned and put his arm around me and kissed my cheek.

"You look incredible" he told me, I rolled my eyes; of course he'd say that.

"Guys, serious question" I said; looking at Rosalie and Alice. "Do I look fat?" I asked, they both looked at my sceptically.

"Of course you don-" I put my finger up to silence him and he shut up.

"You've put on weight for sure but I wouldn't say you're fat" Rosalie replied,

"I think it's impossible for you to be fat" Alice smiled. I've definitely put on weight though. I sighed.

"Maybe I should change" I muttered,

"No" Renesmé shrieked, "no" she then said again more calm; we all looked at her. I heard a car pull up outside and Renesmé smiled, Embry and Jasmine came up the stairs. Jasmine looked incredible. I felt fat.

"Hey" Jasmine smiled, she went to stand next to Renesmé.

"Hey, when's the baby due?" Embry smirked,

"I'm going to change" I said immediately walking towards the stairs

"Who says that?" Paul asked like he was an idiot,

"It was a joke."

"Sera, wait" Paul called following me down the stairs. I nearly tripped out the door but his arms wrapped around me and pulled me up so he was carrying me; my legs dangling. I hope he picks me up like this when we're on our honeymoon. Not that we'd even talked about a honeymoon. We didn't need to; we had till April. Everything else is pretty much sorted though, we have my dress and the venue; we have invitations that had been sent out. We just need to choose our wedding cake and food menu. I also need to find some shoes to go with my dress; I don't know whether I want to wear heals or flat shoes. "You do not look fat" he told me, I looked at him in disbelief. "Would I lie to you?"

"Yes. I look fat and you said I didn't" I told him, he rolled his eyes and carried me home. I took the heals off and went up to my room; him behind me. I went straight to my bathroom and stood on the scales; I stripped down to my underwear and even took my bunny ears off.

"How is that even possible?" I whined,

"What?" Paul asked coming through and sitting on the edge of the bath.

"I've been dieting; I don't get how I could be putting on weight" I groaned sitting next to him and putting my head in my hands.

"Baby you look amazing" he frowned,

"Amazing won't make me fit into that dress" I said pointing at the dress hanging up on the outside of my wardrobe inside its cover so he couldn't see it. "This is just perfect" I muttered sarcastically.

"Well, how about we go for a run tomorrow?" he asked, I smiled a little. Even when I'm being impossible, he still tries hard to make me happy. I put my head on his shoulder.

"You're going to hit Embry for me right?" I asked gently,

"Of course I am" he said putting his arms around me. I kissed his chin and got up, I scowled at my scales and went into my bedroom. I put grey leggings on with a white vest top and grey wool dress that stopped at my knees. I put my bunny ears back on and looked in the mirror. I just looked horrendous.

"Do I have to go?" I asked frowning, "I feel like a house end" I muttered.

"We don't have to but didn't Edward give you $20 to?" he asked, I forgot about that. I sighed.

"Come on then, may as well get this over with" I grumbled, I put my flat black shoes on and climbed up onto Paul's back. I clung tightly as he climbed down the ladders but once he had his hands back under my arms I felt safe. We went out for Halloween like I promised and although I couldn't help but feel depressed about being fat, I still managed to have an okay night. I lay on my stomach on my bed, listening to Paul whistling to himself while he ate sweets on the floor. I refused to eat any.

In the morning, I woke to find Renesmé sitting on the bottom of my bed; just staring at me. I blinked a few times and even pinched my arm. This is a weird sight to wake up to. How'd she even get in here? And where's Paul? I sat up and just stared at her; her grin getting wider and wider. "Hi Nessie" I said slowly,

"Hi Sera" she replied in the same tone. I narrowed my eyes in on her and she giggled, she moved up the bed and sat next to me; taking Paul's spot. "I have to talk to you about something" she told me.

"That's nice" I replied, "couldn't it wait till like after lunch?" I asked still feeling awkward about the situation. She looked at me and the seriousness told me it couldn't wait till after lunch. "What's wrong?" I asked, is it Paul? Is he hurt? What happened? God, I hate sleeping.

"Don't panic" she smiled, "everything is fine" she told me.

"Where's Paul?" I asked; the panic still clear as day in my voice.

"He's with Jake" she replied,

"He's okay?"

"Of course he is" she grinned, "I'm not here to talk to you about Paul though" she said then moving the conversation on. "I'm here to talk to you about you."

"I gathered, Nessie just spit it out; I'm tired and incredibly hungry" I sighed. She looked unsure about telling me then and then she stood up.

"Let's eat" she smiled, I followed her down to the kitchen and went straight to the fridge.

"I don't know about you but I could fry a cow right now" I muttered looking for the meat in the fridge, why doesn't my dad buy good food? Neither of us eat half of these vegetables. I finally found the sausages at the back of the fridge and smelled them, they went out of date last week. "Will these be okay to eat?" I asked, they didn't smell very nice but I really wanted them.

"No, bin them" she told me, I frowned and sighed as I threw them in the bin. I closed the fridge door and looked at the clock on the wall.

"Fancy going out for breakfast?" I asked,

"Well, you could come to mine? I can text my dad to cook something" she shrugged,

"Define something" I said crossing my arms,

"Anything you like" she smiled at me, there's something weird going on here. Usually she just tells me we'll get what we're given. And usually it's something I like but now I'm just not sure.

"What's going on Ness?" I asked seriously, she stopped smiling and looked quite nervous. I waited and when she didn't say anything I just groaned. "I'm going to get dressed, tell Edward it better be good" I told her. I went back to my room and changed into my grey jeggings and black vest top; I put Paul's grey hoody on over the top and pulled my converses on. I looked terrible, terrible and fat. My wedding is going to suck. I decided to undress and walked over to my wedding dress. I unzipped it and just stared, sighing.

"It's not going to fit you" Renesmé told me, I frowned.

"Thanks for the support, Ness" I rolled my eyes.

"No, I mean...it doesn't matter how much you exercise or eat differently; it's not going to fit you for at least another 9 or 10 months" she muttered. What is she talking about?

"Why not?" I asked defensively,

"You're pregnant" she said quickly; like she was ripping off a band aid.

"It's not funny" I muttered,

"No, I'm not joking" she said as I went to sit on my bed. I reached for my pyjamas. I'm sick of this. "Sera, really...when Embry mentioned it last night it got me thinking; and then the more I thought the more it made sense. And my dad agreed, I spoke to Carlisle and he said he suspected" she rambled. "So when Jake convinced Paul to go out this morning, I came over... and well... I can hear the baby; Sera" she said. I just stared at her like she was delusional. "I'm being serious" she shrieked like she really wanted me to believe her. "Our hearing is impeccable, I can hear to the motorway from my own house so I can certainly hear a little heartbeat in your stomach... or cervix... or whatever" she muttered looking stressed. Is she being serious? She sounded like she was. But if she's being serious and she's right...then...my dress isn't going to fit me for another 9 or 10 months. Wait, 9 or 10 months?

"Surely it'll take longer than 9 or 10 months for me to fit back into that darn thing" I muttered looking at it sadly.

"Well...since you're like showing...Carlisle suspects you're already a few months gone" she mumbled, I thought about it. It would make sense but if I'm a few months gone then I would have gotten pregnant sometime around my engagement party. It would be so ironic if the time I agreed to sleep with Paul after he gave me a date for our wedding was the one time that got me pregnant.

"So...how many months?" I asked,

"Well, we can't be sure. So...I brought you a test" she told me, she brought me a test? She held up a small paper bag which I'd assume she got from the chemist. I sighed.

"Shouldn't I wait for Paul?" I asked nervously, I can't really process this. In less than 9 months I'm going to be giving birth, I'll have a baby; a small, beautiful, dependant, life changing baby. I suppose at least I'll be 20 but that's not the point. How am I supposed to tell dad? I've been trying my best to convince him my life won't go the same way as his and mom's yet I'm following in their footsteps. I know things won't end badly for Paul and I, I don't think they actually can but it wouldn't make dad worry any less.

"I figured you might say that" she smiled a little, "we could always do it at mine?" she asked.

"I didn't think anything could be worse than taking a pregnancy test at 19 but taking a pregnancy test when the entire house hold can hear you pee; that's definitely worse" I muttered, she giggled a little bit.

"Okay, want me to go find Paul? You can pee while I'm gone" she shrugged, I nodded.

"Thanks Nessie" I smiled nervously, she came over and gave me a gentle hug before leaving. I sighed and fell back onto my bed; staring up at the ceiling. A baby. There's a baby growing inside of me. And I've been practically starving myself so I can lose weight. I've been unintentionally depriving my own child of food. I'm going to be a terrible mother. What if I can't cope? What if dad throws me out and never wants to see me again? What if my child hates me? What if my genetics make me the world's worse mother? I bit at my nails. "I can't do anything about this" I sighed. I wouldn't get rid of my child, I thought abortion was completely wrong but I'm just...so scared. I wanted babies, I've wanted Paul's baby since I found out we'd be together forever but I thought we'd go to college together first; then move to a sunny state and live happily for a while as husband and wife. I thought we'd get jobs and earn money before we even thought of trying to raise a child. I placed my hands on my stomach; at least I'm not fat. I smiled a little at how stupid that sounded. And then I pictured him. Light olive skin with big, wide brown chocolate eyes, pink lips and a strong jaw. His little fingers, his little toes...he'd be perfect. Just like his daddy.

I sat up feeling light headed and grabbed the bag; walking slowly over to the bathroom. I shut the door and went over to the toilet. I don't even need to pee but I'd find the willpower in me. I need to know how far along my mini Paul is. Not that it mattered. It didn't matter how far along he was; my wedding wasn't going to happen. The dress won't even fit me now let alone in a few months. Renesmé was right. It won't fit me.

I managed to pee, talk about pressure though; this will probably be the most life changing pee of my life. And even though it sounded ridiculous, I couldn't even smile or laugh at it. I just stared at the floor. I'd flushed the chain and was sitting in my bath; empty of course. The test was face down on the floor next to the radiator. I heard floorboards creaking and expected to see Nessie but Paul smiled at me weakly and came inside. He climbed into the bath with me and I moved forward so he could sit behind. He made himself comfortable and I lay back against his chest; his arms and legs around me.

"How long have you been sitting here?" he asked gently, I looked at the alarm clock that we had on the side of the sink.

"10 minutes" I replied,

"So it's ready?" he asked; he sounded as nervous as I felt.

"Most likely" I muttered. We sat in silence for a while, "I'm going to be a terrible mother" I said.

"No you're not" he replied,

"It's in my genetics, my mom was terrible and from the sounds of my grandma; she was a pretty bad mom too. We're like a line; passing down our terrible mother curse" I said hysterically,

"Sera, you're not. You know you're not. You're just scared" he said gently stroking my hand with his thumb.

"Of course I'm scared, I mean what if there's something wrong with him? I can't do anything and it'd be my fault. More is the point, I was in my sex ed lesson and labour does not look fun" I continued shrieking. Paul hugged me tightly and I frowned. "I don't think I've ever felt so terrified" I muttered, "except for when you were bitten by a vampire and I thought you were going to die. That was pretty terrifying too" I shrugged. He chuckled lightly.

"I know you're scared, I am too. But Jake is very good at making you see the upside" he told me gently, "plus he hit me a few times." I laughed a little. "But just think, I'm going to be here no matter what; and since you're now my little pregnant squishy. I promise I'll do anything you want when you want it" he told me.

"You do that anyway" I grinned,

"I know" he replied, "but still. I was just making sure you were still aware of it" he added.

"I am" I smiled a little,

"You don't need to be scared, I know that doesn't help but we're friends with a pretty incredible doctor who I know is more than willing to tell you anything you need to know and to help overcome any problems that might occur but I doubt it" he explained. That's true. Carlisle is a good man and well educated in humans and medicine. He can tell me how to do things properly and if I need him to reassure me of anything; I'm sure he'll be willing to help.

"That's all very well but..." I trailed off, "I don't know how my dad will react" I muttered sadly. "I know he hasn't been thrilled with the idea of us getting married so young and he hasn't hidden his annoyance at the thought of me not going to college" I sighed, "I can't see him taking this very well and...I don't want to disappoint him."

"I don't want to sound harsh, Sera" he said gently, "but this isn't about your dad, it's not even about me. This is about you and our daughter-"

"Son" I corrected,

"No, daughter" he chuckled.

"No" I whined grinning,

"Fine, fine; our child. I'm only thinking about you, and if you only think about you; then your dad's only going to think about you" he told me.

"I doubt it but I guess you're right. Can we...hold off on telling him for a while?" I asked.

"We can but it's not like we've got a lot of time, you're only going to show more and more" he told me. I sighed.

"That's one way of saying I'm going to get fatter" I smirked,

"You're not fat" he whined, kissing my neck gently. We sat for a while, hugging and I couldn't stop smiling; having Paul here just made me feel so much better. I took a deep breath and leaned out of the bath; I picked it up off the floor and made myself comfortable again. I turned it over quickly and stared at it.

"3+. What does that even mean?" I asked.

I opened the car door and climbed out of Paul's truck, he put his arm around me and we went inside the Cullen's house. Carlisle was opening the door straight away as always. He smiled gently at both of us and took us up to his study.

"So, how are you both taking the news?" he asked, Paul and I glanced at each other and I looked doubtful at Carlisle. He chuckled gently. "It's definitely a lot to take in" he told us. A lot is an understatement. "Do you have any specific questions?" he asked.

"Yeah" I said, "is there any way to know whether it's a girl or a boy because this could turn pretty ugly" I said; gesturing towards Paul and I. Paul laughed and rolled his eyes. I grinned; as did Carlisle.

"Um, we can't know until you're 12 to 16 weeks; then you're entitled to know through a scan" he told me. "I suggest you accompany me to the hospital anyway for your first scan, just to get a solid number of how far along you are. Most women don't show until their 14th week but every pregnancy is different" he explained. I did the sum in my head, to be showing on average if Carlisle was correct then when I first noticed I was getting 'fat'; I'd have been just over 3 months pregnant. And that was 3 weeks ago. So there's a strong chance I'm 4 months. I can't be 4 months pregnant?! I've just found out!

"How could I go for so long without knowing?" I asked, "don't you get like...crazy morning sickness and stuff?" I asked confused.

"Not all women do; it just depends. You've been very fortunate in that you've not had strong symptoms" he replied, fortunate. Pft. I didn't even know I had a baby inside of me, that's not fortunate. "Although, I've been wondering this myself. Haven't you wondered why you haven't had a period in so long?" Carlisle asked, I felt a bit embarrassed at that. And then I frowned.

"I was on the injection for a while after my graduation; for my holiday. I kept getting it for about 2 months afterwards. I did go to see a nurse when I realised I still wasn't getting my period but she said it was normal and that my body just had to get back into its normal cycle. I stopped thinking about it after that" I said feebly.

"That's understandable" he nodded, I'm an idiot. "It all seems a bit patchy at the moment but I'll book you in for a scan tomorrow. And we can see where it goes from there" he told me. I felt nervous. I don't know where I stand at the moment. I tried to put it out of my mind though for the rest of the day, instead if read books on pregnancy and learned about what I should and should not eat. Paul then took me to his house around 3 and his mom made lasagne; I ate a lot of it. Paul just looked at me when his mom commented about me being hungry. I'm been practically starved for the past 3 weeks; I don't care. I'm allowed to eat so I will.

"So, mom; um...Sera and I have some news" Paul started as I piled my plates on theirs. She waited patiently. "Our wedding is being moved back a few months" he told her.

"Oh, why?" she frowned.

"Because I can't fit into my dress" I told her, she gave me a strange look and then looked at Paul.

"We're...expecting" he said slowly, it took her a few seconds to grasp what that meant but then she got all excited; rambling about how happy she was. She hugged us both and then started going on about birthing methods and talked a lot about the pain of labour. The more she talked, the more sick I felt. "Mom" Paul shouted, she stopped and looked at me. I must have looked pretty terrified.

"Oh honey, don't worry. Everything will be fine, if it's anything like it was for me with Paul...actually no, not the best example since I went into shock afterwards and he wasn't breathing but-"

"Mom, stop."

"I'm going to go sit in the bath" I said slowly, I left the room and went to the bathroom. I found myself trembling. I put my head in between my legs and breathed deeply placing my hands over my head and closing my eyes. I heard Paul come through and shut the door, climbing in behind me again. Two times in one day and in two different baths. I think I know where I'll be spending most of my time.

"Come here" he said, pulling me back against him. I put my head on his shoulder. "Hey" he said sadly wiping away one of my tears.

"I'm scared" I cried, he pulled me into a big hug and stroked the side of my face.

"I know baby" he murmured.


	18. Scan

I lay on the hospital bed which was slightly propped up and waited patiently, Carlisle had met us outside and introduced us to a friend of his. He was sitting in on the scan; just in case there was anything 'abnormal' about our child. He reassured me he just mean 'different' as in more wolf like than baby. I had to tell myself he just meant like in size or something and not that I was giving birth to a cub.

"Aww" I said gently to myself, Paul who was reading a book in the chair next to me while holding my hand looked up, questioningly. "We're having a cub" I smirked. He smiled gently at me.

"Hopefully in baby form" he murmured going back to reading, he told me before we feel asleep last night that he was going to read every pregnancy book he could to make sure he understood what I was going through and so he knew how to help me at any obstacle we could face. He was doing pretty well so far, he'd read a book already this morning and he was on his second. He's a fast reader; I'll give him that.

"Sorry for the wait" the nurse said coming into the room; followed by Carlisle. He stood in the corner, just observing us. Paul put his book down by his feet and shuffled the chair closer to the bed; he put his chin on the pillow next to my head. She moved around to the other side of me and pulled a monitor closer to the bed; our baby's going to be on that in a few minutes. She sorted some things out and then moved my t-shirt up. I'd borrowed Paul's grey t-shirt as it was comfortable and I surprisingly felt thinner in his baggy clothes. His wardrobe was going to be mine for this pregnancy. "This'll be a bit cold" she warned me putting some liquid stuff onto my stomach; it was more like jelly. And she was right, it was very cold. I didn't stop looking at the screen though, as she pressed an object to my stomach; there was a loud noise and as she moved it, it differed in sound but then she placed it in the right place and I smiled; that's our baby's heartbeat. It was beautiful. She then showed us the picture on the screen and pointed out to us where our baby's head was, it was pretty clear to see but I was grateful anyway. "You've just gone 12 weeks" she informed me; 3 months. I had another 6 months to sweat about but it didn't matter; we were looking at him. After the scan she did tests on me. By the time we were told we could go, I felt so tired from the excitement of it all; I just wanted to sleep. And I think I actually fell asleep on the drive home. We got to keep pictures of our sonogram, so I put a picture of him in my purse.

When I woke up, I was on the sofa at home; my head resting on a pillow on Paul's knee. It was quiet and there was only a small lamp on, enough light for Paul to read though as I found that's what he was doing. I sat up and he put his book down.

"Hey" he said gently and quietly, he kissed the side of my head and helped me get comfortable. I felt strangely drained. Maybe it's just been too much to take in.

"Hi" I smiled,

"You dad's making pie" he told me, smirking.

"Pie?" I asked surprised, "he's...making pie?" I asked confused. I climbed off his knee and walked into the kitchen to see dad was in fact making pie.

"Hey honey" he said, not turning to face me though.

"You're actually making food?" I asked, he laughed a little.

"Well..I'm trying."

We all ate together; Eleanor came over. It was hard getting her to not talk about me being pregnant because she kept saying unsubtle stuff which I was getting annoyed at. I really don't want dad to know yet. Paul kept glaring at her but she wasn't letting up. I washed up after dinner and Paul dried.

"I've been looking at venues in England" dad announced, I knew he was talking to Paul and I. "They're a lot cheaper over there but then by the time you fly people over; you may as well pay for a church venue here" he told us. I frowned. I was so excited to get married. I looked down at my ring and dried my finger on my t-shirt.

"Makes sense" I muttered, I turned around; ignoring Paul's sad puppy dog eyes looking at me. I knew he wanted me to tell dad, I knew it was one of those things that if he was the only giving birth and it was his dad; he'd tell him. But he didn't know my dad like I knew my dad. And he's not his only daughter. "Look dad, Paul and I are moving the wedding back a few months" I told him, he looked up at me surprised. "We've been looking at houses and stuff, and well we'd rather move straight into our own place afterwards and the house we want won't be ready till July" I explained.

"Oh" he said, he didn't look like he cared. "Well that's good, gives me longer to save up" he muttered. I smiled a little to myself, dad's been adamant he's going to spend a lot on this; Eleanor too. So the only think Paul and I needed to worry about was the house but now I guess we just need to worry about the house, our baby and me having our baby. Eleanor looked troubled and Paul just put his arm behind me. I went back to Paul's to stay there as dad planned on painting the hallway tonight and I hate the smell of faint fumes. I went to the bathroom and had a shower before going back along to Paul's room. I heard him and his mom talking about me in her room. I went into his room and shut the door. I don't care what either of them think, me not telling my dad is my decision. It's not like I'm not telling him I'm going to die, I have a few weeks to let this whole baby news sink in and then I can tell him when I know what I'm going to say. It makes no difference if I tell him now or not. I'm still going to pregnant when he finds out. I changed back into my clothes and tied my hair up. I texted dad.

Come pick me up x

I waited, getting more worried Paul was going to come back through and sweet talk me into agreeing with him or forgiving him. But he didn't.

Dad: here x

I left the bedroom and left straight out the front door, letting it swing behind me. Paul must have been in the kitchen because he followed me out immediately. He didn't put up much of a fight though when I climbed into the car and shut the door. Dad didn't ask. He drove me home in silence and when we got home, I went straight to my room. I sat down on my bed and crossed my legs. I know I should have talked to him. Told him it was my decision and he should butt out, maybe then he'd let it go. But I already told him I was scared of how dad would react, he should know me well enough to let this be my decision and mine alone.

"Sera" dad said gently coming up the ladders, I looked at him and he sighed. He came and sat next to me on my bed. "Want to talk about it?" I shook my head. "Are you sure?" I shook my head again and he hugged me gently. I waited a few minutes before I pulled away. I'm going to have to do it aren't I? Coming back here tonight didn't really give me a choice anyway. It's just like ripping off a band aid.

"Dad I...I haven't been completely honest with you" I started, I could sense how he was already getting tense. I took an internal deep breath. "The reason we're moving the wedding back...is because...I'm..." I trailed off,

"Pregnant" dad finished. He didn't say it in any way at all. He didn't sound angry or happy. I nodded slowly not looking at him. "Bloody typical" he muttered before leaving my room, I just sat silently. I knew it. I knew he was going to take it badly. I of course went after him.

"Dad, wait. Talk to me" I said following him down the stars.

"Talk to you? About what?" he asked, "There's clearly nothing to talk about."

"But-"

"But nothing" he said turning to me once we got into the kitchen. "You told me you weren't going to let this happen" he said. I guess I kind of said that.

"I know but-"

"You're too young, Sera. You guys aren't married, you don't have your own house; you've not even accepted a college yet" he went on, he sounded incredibly annoyed. "How are you supposed to do all the things you want in life if you're a mom and married before you're 20?" he asked. "It doesn't work that way, Sera."

"Don't you think I'm thought of all this?" I asked, "I didn't plan this. You can shout at me all you want, and Paul can make his mind up about decisions and Eleanor can even complain but this is my body" I shrieked. "I'm scared" I told him, my voice breaking. "And I didn't want it to go this way. I want to go college, and I want to be a doctor. But what I want is going to have to wait. It doesn't mean I won't do it, I know I will." He just stared at me. "I was so excited to get married...and everything was perfect. I know it's my own fault. I get that. And I didn't expect you to understand. But I really want you to" I said, tears flowing.

"I guess that'll have to wait too" he muttered before leaving the kitchen. I just stood by myself for a few seconds; taking in what that meant. It hurt. I slid down to the floor and hugged my knees while I tried to hold it all in. I knew I couldn't stay here tonight either. I pulled myself up and took the back door out. I managed to get onto a trail eventually even though I couldn't see where I was going. The forest gets very dark at night. I kept walking though, crying too much to focus on looking around. I stopped after about an hour. Where the hell am I? I looked around but only saw trees; hundreds of the damn things. I felt my trousers for my phone and frowned; I've left it in my room. I can't stay here even if I don't know where here is so I started walking again; going what I assumed was right from the direction I was walking in. Hopefully I'll get to the Cullen's. After what felt like another hour, I started to panic. I'm cold, I'm hungry, I'm pregnant and I'm lost. I felt my stomach for reassurance that at least I wasn't here alone.

"It's okay baby, mommy's going to get us home" I muttered to myself, I kept walking even though the site never changed. Going in and out of trees. I heard owls up ahead and opened my mind.

"Did you find anything?"

"Who's there?"

"Stop moving."

"Hi" I said to them, trembling. "I'm Sera" I muttered, if anyone was around they'd think I was crazy. "I'm kind of lost" I told them.

"Lost?"

"What's lost?"

"Who's lost?"

"She's lost."

"Oh."

"Can you help me get home?" I asked hugging myself, "See, it's really important I get there; I'm really cold and it's not good for my baby" I cried, shivering.

"Baby?"

"She's with child."

"Of course, it's this way" one of them said, flying off. I followed after it, it seemed to wait for me to catch up before moving again and I swear we were on the move for ages. But I kept reminding myself I'd get home and so I kept going. When I realised it'd stopped completely I looked around. This isn't home. "Home" it announced,

"Not your home" I whined, "mine."

"Why would I know where your home is?" it asked, I frowned and hugged myself. I wish I'd put my coat on. I suppose it was my own fault trusting a bird to take me home. I looked around and sighed. No closer to home I think. I wish I had a nest right now. I started off again on my own and eventually came to a small stream. I've never even seen this before. I am so lost. I stepped a bit closer and screamed when I fell over into the water. Are you kidding me?! Not I'm freezing to death and wet. I pushed myself back onto my feet and stepped back onto the muddy slant. I huffed to myself and turned back the way I'd come.

"Hello" I called out, someone has to come and find me. Unless I'm in the complete other direction of the Cullen's house which I was beginning to think I was. I eventually just sat down on the floor. I'm incredibly tired and I'm probably getting myself more lost. I hugged my knees close to me and tried to ignore the smell of damp mud. "I'm so sorry baby, I don't even know what I was thinking" I muttered. I looked up in the tree to see more owls; I tuned them out though and just closed my eyes.


	19. Bad dreams

I woke up in a hospital bed, rubbing my eyes at the white room around me. I saw Paul sitting next to my bed, in his arms I saw a small baby wrapped up in a white blanket. His arms waving around. Paul's eyes turned to me. Watching me with horror as I looked down at myself. Blood. Everywhere. What's happening? What's wrong with me? Why isn't anyone helping? I looked up to see Paul gone. My baby gone too. I was still bleeding out and then the most horrendous pain surged through me and I screamed.

"Sera. Sera it's okay. Sera baby, everything's okay. Wake up..."

I was still here. My body fine. No blood, it was all gone. But I realised I was now lying down. The room was getting whiter, and I felt the pain continue. I saw my dad next to me, he was telling me to push. Looking at me with gentle eyes which quickly turned to angry. The pain got worse and the louder I screamed the more it hurt.

"Sera" shouted a voice, I sat up and gasped. Oh my God. I breathed harshly, appreciating the air in my lungs. I turned to see Paul looking bewildered at me and my dad looking terrified on the other side. Where am I? I glanced around at the dim lit room and realised I was in my own bed at home. How did I get here? It was just a dream. I'm okay, there's no blood; my baby is still hopefully in my stomach. I'm just paranoid. I'm just scared and my sub-consciousness is playing on that. I let myself fall back so I was lying down and I placed my arms over my face. My breathing still harsh. We all stayed silent. It probably didn't take a genius to know what I was dreaming about.

Dad left after a few minutes and I heard Paul get up, he went to the bathroom and when he came back he just looked at me; he looked scared. I climbed out of bed and realised I was wearing my pink teddy pyjamas and my bed was full of hot water bottles. "Don't ever go off like that ever again" he told me, moving forward and hugging me tightly. From the way he said it and the way he held me without breathing; I could tell he was really upset. I felt like saying 'I didn't plan on getting lost' but I didn't. I just stayed silent. After he let go, I went to the bathroom and took a hot bath. I just lay in there for a while, it must have been quite long though because Paul came in and sat next to the bath. "Your dad told me it didn't go very well" he muttered, I didn't even want to recall yesterday. "I'm sorry" he muttered. I didn't reply. I blamed him for it. I wouldn't have done it alone if he hadn't been bitching about me. I'd have stayed at his, none of this would have happened. I didn't blame him for me going off into the woods alone though and getting lost. I blamed myself for not driving and blamed my dad for making me feel like I couldn't stay here. He didn't continue after that, I think he realised I wasn't going to say anything. I slid down the bath and let my head go under for a few seconds before I sat back up. I kept my eyes closed though. "It was wrong of me to ignore your wishes" he muttered, "I should have let it be your decision; I know."

"It doesn't matter" I whispered, "none of it matters."

"It's been a crazy few days" he murmured, I climbed out of the bath and put a towel around myself. I went back into my room and changed into my pyjamas again. I towel dried my hair and tied it up in a bobble before climbing back into bed. I wasn't going to sleep but I felt sad and pathetic so I was going to just mope. "Can I get you anything?" Paul asked quietly, I didn't respond. I was a little hungry but I didn't want his help or dad's help or anyone's help. "Sera" he said, his voice breaking. "I'm really sorry" he said, even in my most sad and moody state; I couldn't handle him crying. I climbed out of bed and hugged him, he buried his head into my neck and hugged me back tightly; his body shaking as he tried to hold his breath.

"Everything is fine" I told him gently,

"But it's not" he cried, well I at least tried.

"Okay, listen" I said pulling away, "yeah, I'm annoyed at you but I've been pissed off for things a lot worse. So I'll get over it" I smiled a little, his eyes were all ready and watery. I hated seeing him like this. "And yeah, my dad didn't take it as well as I hoped he would but at least he knows now; no more secrets" I sighed, "well except for the whole wolf thing" I muttered. He cleared his throat and I dried his eyes for him. He kissed my forehead and sat down on my bed; pulling me over to him.

"What was your dream about?" he asked, his voice breaking as he breathed in and out; he cleared his throat again. I climbed onto his knee and put my chest to his; wrapping my arms around him. I put my head on his shoulder and he put his head on mine.

"I'm not totally sure but...I think I was dying" I told him. "So much to look forward to" I added sarcastically, he sighed and hugged me tightly. I hugged him back and just stayed there until morning. I heard dad go to work. Paul then took me down stairs and I ate some cereal and drank nearly a carton of orange juice.

"I was thinking...maybe we could move into our own apartment" Paul said, I looked up at him.

"We don't have the money" I said,

"I thought of that too" he replied, "I have about $8000 in my savings account" he told me.

"That's for college" I told him,

"I'd rather-"

"No" I said sternly, "we are going to college" I said emphasising on the word 'are'. "You need that money for then. We'll be fine" I told him gently.

"But we're not doing fine, are we?" he asked. "We're doing the complete opposite of fine. You're having hysterical nightmares, we're arguing, your dad's not speaking to us, my mom's gone all bitch crazy mode and I'm scared for us" he rambled. For us? "I've never seen any of the others fight the way we do" he frowned.

"We don't really fight" I muttered, "believe me, I grew up with fighting and what we do isn't it" I sighed. "We disagree, so what? It's apparently healthy" I shrugged.

"Well I don't like it" he murmured, I wasn't sure what to say to that. Did he think I liked it?

"Then we'll stop; from now on. I agree with everything you say" I replied sarcastically putting my bowl in the sink.

"See. That's what I mean. Why do you do that?" he asked like I was being impossible.

"Because nobody likes arguing or fighting or disagreeing. But we're not the same person Paul, if we didn't disagree; I'd be worried. Because then one of us would be lying" I explained looking at him. "We don't have to live together to get along" I told him. He looked unconvinced.

"It was just a suggestion" he muttered going back to eating, I frowned. Maybe he's right. Maybe we're disagreeing too much? I turned around and watched out of the window.

"But I was wondering if I could move in, somehow I don't see living with dad working out" I muttered, I heard him get up and he came over to me and put his arms around me.

"I'd love you too" he whispered, he kissed the side of my head. I smiled to myself.


	20. Ethan

"Paul, look" I grinned, I'd balanced my phone on my stomach and the baby was kicking; making it wobble. He grinned too and rubbed my tummy.

"Wow, he's going to be good at soccer" he smirked, I took my phone off my stomach and pulled myself off the sofa. I stretched and went into the kitchen; Eleanor looked up at me.

"Hey" I smiled, I went over to the kettle and switched it on. I knocked the spoon off the side and bent down awkwardly to pick it up.

"Oh love, please; let me do that" Eleanor fussed, she ushered me over to her chair and I sat down. Not really given the choice. "You should really relax" she told me. "Paul can make you drinks and things" she smiled, Paul came in on cue and I shot him a stern frustrated look.

"What?" he asked,

"I was just telling her you can make her drinks" Eleanor repeated.

"She's pregnant, mom; not sick" he sighed, "she's well aware I'll do anything she doesn't feel fit enough to do herself" he told her.

"She needs limited amounts of stress and movement" Eleanor hissed, he put his hands up in a surrender and made me some tea. He sat down at the table next to me and put his hand on my knee. Eleanor muttered something under her breath and left the room.

"Thanks" I smiled gently, he kissed my lips and rubbed my nose with his.

"Anything for you" he smiled. I grinned.

"And squish" I added,

"And squish" he repeated.

"I think that should be his name" I told him,

"I think she'd hate it" he smirked.

"He."

"She" he said, he then stuck his tongue out.

"I'm going to laugh when you owe me $30" I sneered,

"We'll see" he winked. I drank my tea and ate a biscuit. Paul helped me up to the bathroom and sat on the floor while I had a bath. We walked about college, I told him Carlisle had been given me tips on medicine. He seemed interested enough to listen to me but I wasn't sure he cared. I smiled though, appreciating it anyway. I climbed into his bed and he climbed in next to me; I sat up and looked through boys baby names which he found amusing. He started reading another book on pregnancy.

"Say you were okay with us having a boy; what do you think of the name Aiden?" I asked, he chuckled.

"I am okay with us having a boy, I'll love him or her either way" he smirked, "Aidan...I'm not sure. Aidan Lahote" he said.

"No" I said moving on, he smiled gently and put his arm around me. I looked through the majority of them and closed the book; putting it down and sighed. "I don't like any of them very much" I muttered. "Have you thought about girls names?" I asked.

"Skylar" he said,

"See that's pretty; why isn't there any pretty boy names we can given him?" I whined, I lay down and stared at Paul's chin.

"Skylar can be a boy's name" he muttered,

"We're not calling our son Skylar" I rolled my eyes, he smiled down at me. "Maybe we'll be like your mom and just know when we see him" I shrugged looking at my bump.

"Or her" he smirked kissing the top of my head. I smiled a little.

"Or her" I repeated. He snuggled down with me after that and we went to sleep. In the morning, I woke to find myself alone. I thought he might have gone to work up at the bait shop with Rio like last week but then realised he was in the shower. I climbed out of bed and waddled over to my wardrobe, sighing as I glanced at my wedding dress still in its cover. I heard a car pull up outside and looked at my watch on my wrist; Carlisle's here. I heard Paul come out of the bathroom and turned to see him standing with my pink Princess towel wrapped around his waist. "If I weren't pregnant right now, I'd totally do you" I told him before leaving the room. I went downstairs and found Carlisle waiting for me in the kitchen, I went in and saw an opportunity to be polite. "Hello, how's you?" I asked.

"I'm quite well thank you" he smiled, "a more important question is, how are you?" he asked me.

"I'm good, better than ever, a bite away from perfect" I grinned, he seemed amused at my last point. Not that he'd agree he and his family were perfect.

"That's good to hear" he told me, "if you come into the sitting area; I'll do your tests." I followed him and sat down on the sofa, he did in fact do tests and made notes. I just sat, doing as he asked. When he was done he asked me to stand up and he measured my stomach. "Everything seems to be just fine" he told me.

"That's good you know since..." I smirked,

"Yes, shouldn't be long" he smiled. I've just gone 8 months. So everything being just fine was great news. He didn't stay long after that, he took my notes to my midwife; a friend of his. And I went back upstairs to find my beautiful fiancé sitting on his bed in his boxer shorts reading a comic book.

"Get bored of baby books?" I asked, smirking.

"I got bored of looking at diagrams of vaginas actually" he muttered looking up at me, I giggled. I looked through some of my stuff which seemed to be everywhere. I found what I was looking for though and sat down on my bed.

"Baby" I said,

"Mm?"

"You know how you said you'd do anything for me?" I asked, he put his comic book down and looked at me properly. I showed him the nail varnish and he glanced at my finger nails which were already painted. "Will you paint my toe nails?" I asked, "I'd do it myself but..." I trailed off glancing at my incredibly bit stomach. He grinned and made me lie down and did it for me.

"Why do your toe nails have to be painted?" he asked,

"Well, I figured while a woman I've only met twice is watching a head come out my vagina; she might look down and think 'she's got nice nails'" I replied, he laughed.

"You're so strange" he told me sounded amused. I smiled. In reality, I was just self conscious about the fact that my feet were swollen and hoped nobody else would notice if my nails were a bright blue colour. After they dried, I let Paul get back to his comic book while I went on the computer. I typed into Google; good baby names for wolves. I clicked on the second link which took me to a page where 'Adolph' was the first name. I'm not naming my son Adolph. I ignored it though and kept looking, hoping to find the right name for my son. I found nothing I liked so I moved onto a different page.

"These names are horrendous" I sighed, I tried usual baby names this time. I suppose I could just find a simple name like Paul; and I loved his name but I just want my son to have something nobody else will have. Maybe we could make up a name like Bella and Edward did with Renesmé. I suppose if we did it the way they did it'd have to be a mash up or James and Mark. Oh. I hadn't even asked Paul if he wanted our son to be named after his dad. I turned to him on the chair. "What about James?" I asked. He looked up and thought about it. I couldn't really mash the names very well; Jamark or Marmes.

"I don't know" he frowned, "maybe as a middle name I suppose" he muttered. Damn. I could have lived with the name James because of the sentimental value; I now have to keep looking.

"Okay" I smiled lightly, I turned back to the computer. I like how he's started talking like we're having a boy too. I think he's still set on Skylar for a girl; I am too. "I like Ethan" I said, Ethan Lahote. "Ethan James Lucas Lahote" I said out loud.

"I like that" Paul said, he climbed off the bed and came over to the computer. "I really like that" he muttered. "What does Ethan mean?" he asked. I clicked on it.

"It means 'eternal, long-lived and enduring'" I replied, I loved it. It was perfect for our son. I also looked at the meaning for Lucas. 'Born at daybreak'; it didn't really mean anything but it was pretty enough. I feebly went back to see what the meaning of James was even though it was a definite name in there. 'Supplanted or follower'; again the name meant nothing to me but the sentimental value was immense.

"Ethan James Lucas" he murmured,

"He's our EJ" I grinned remembering back to Bella telling me she was going to call her son Edward Jacob.

"He is indeed, if he's in fact a he and not a she like I so hope she is" he replied quickly, I smirked. He kissed my cheek and I finally turned off the computer and climbed into bed with him. I drifted happily thinking of Ethan James. I woke up in the middle of the night though feeling the pain in my stomach. Mother of God that hurts. I took a deep breath and frowned. I wiggled my legs around a bit to see if the sheets were wet. Surely I can't be in labour if my waters haven't broken. I then felt around with my hands and my realised my pyjamas trousers were wet. He's early. And has woke me up in the middle of the night. Definitely a boy; he's difficult. I nudged Paul and he mumbled something about biology. I smirked.

"PAUL" I shouted. He jumped and stared at me. "My water broke" I told him, it took him a few seconds to realise what I'd said.

"Oh my God, what do I do? What do I do? What do I do?" he asked quickly, he jumped up and looked around for my case. I laughed and climbed out of bed.

"First, you can pass me some new pyjama bottoms; I'm going nowhere with these on" I grumbled. He got my case from under the bed and put it at the door before grabbing me a pair of his grey sweatpants and handing them to me. I used his arm to help me balance as I took my pyjama bottoms off and put his sweatpants on. I waddled over to the desk and took my hairbrush; I combed through my hair before tying it up and then I slipped my feet into my flat black shoes. I got another contraction. Mother of...I grabbed Paul's hand and gripped it as tightly as I could.

"Uh..." he said unsure, "what can I do?" he asked. "Think, think" he told himself. "Oh yeah, breathe; breathe" he said in a weird way which made me laugh even though I was still in pain. It eventually left me and I took a deep breath.

"Okay" I sighed, I grabbed my phone off the side and Paul collected my suitcase. He walked patiently behind me down the stairs as I went slowly. I went out to the car and he helped me into my bug as I couldn't get into his truck. He put the case in the boot and ran up to wake his mom up, I put the radio on and texted Carlisle.

If it gets worse than this; I'm out. First and only kid. See you at the hospital.

I pressed send and put my seatbelt on, Eleanor came running out in her jeans and green t-shirt; clutching her purse and camera. She looked so tired, she went around the other side and opened the door. She pulled the seat forward and climbed into the back. Paul came out and locked the door before climbing into the drivers' seat. He drove to the hospital calmly; I put the classical channel on so it was calm in the car. I think Eleanor's tense and tired state made both Paul and I nervous though. Message from Carlisle:

A wonderful surprise! Don't forget how worth labour is, Sera. Just think; this time tomorrow you'll have a beautiful baby. See you there.

He was right, the thought made me incredibly excited. "Get ready to give me $30" I told Paul, he chuckled lightly and took my hand. He pulled in at the hospital and parked. I climbed out and he got out quickly, Eleanor getting out afterwards. I waited while he got my case and got another contraction. Ow! I breathed heavily and Eleanor put her arm around me.

"Breathe, breathe, breathe" she smiled at me gently, it made me feel a lot better. Paul needs to learn to do it without the while Yoda voice. Once it was gone I stood up properly.

"Thanks" I said, she smiled happily and I took Paul's house. We walked inside and were met by Carlisle, he looked very pleased. "Hey" I smiled,

"You're looking chirpy" he told me,

"Are you coming on to me? My fiancé won't like that but you know...grr" I replied, he looked confused for a second and Paul laughed. Eleanor looked bewildered but didn't comment.

"Right...well..." Carlisle smiled gently, he took me up to my private room and I got settled. The contractions getting more frequent. I hate it. Paul was very nice and supportive though. My midwife came around 2 hours later and talked me through the process; she did her examination and said that everything was going well and that I was over halfway there with the time; 5cm. She said she'd come back in an hour and see how I was doing. She left me to it and I smiled when I saw Eleanor was asleep in the chair.

"Do you need anything?" Paul asked, I was sitting up comfortable so I shook my head. I glanced at my phone and sighed. I'm going to have to, I won't forgive myself if I don't. I picked it up and rang my dad. He didn't answer; I didn't expect him to since it was so late. I then rang again and again; after the 5th time I rang Renesmé. She answered immeditarly.

"Please let me come, I want to be there when he's born" she said as soon as she picked up. I laughed.

"Ness, you don't need permission to come" I told her,

"My mom said it was rude to assume" she muttered,

"If you want to be here then come" I laughed. "I need you to do me a favour though" I told her.

"Anything" she replied,

"Can you go to mine and bang really hard on the door. Wake my dad up" I told her.

"Will do" he chuckled,

"Good; I take it I'll see you soon" I smirked,

"Yay" she shrieked before hanging up.

"Even I heard that" Paul chuckled. I smiled, I shuffled along and he sat next to me; putting his arm around me. "Do you think he'll come?" he asked, I shrugged.

"I can live in hope" I muttered. When Renesmé arrived followed by Jacob; I really thought my dad wasn't coming but when he came through I felt relieved. He also looked tired and after giving me a hug; he took a seat next to a sleeping Eleanor. Renesmé had brought me baby clothes and a dummy; all blue.

"You guys are so going to regret it when she's a girl" Paul smirked,

"Are you saying girls can't have blue?" Renesmé asked seriously, we all stared at her and then burst out laughing when she smiled. I got a few more contractions and when my midwife came in, I asked everyone but Paul to wait outside. Eleanor had an exception because she was snoring. It felt weird having her feel how dilated I was but she seemed happy afterwards.

"I'd give it another 20 maybe 30 minutes" she told me, "are you ready for any stronger painkillers?" she asked me. So far I'd managed on gas and air and nearly breaking Paul's house. Maybe taking painkillers might be a smart move. "We can't give you Pethidine as an option anymore because not only will it make you tired but will make the baby tired too" she told me. "So besides an Epidural; your only option is TENS. It kills the pain in your nerves" she explained.

"I'll have that then" I mumbled, she nodded and saw to it that a nurse gave me one. I put it on my back and lay back. The others all came into the room and chilled out, we watched a little bit of television and they each took turns at holding my hand when I had a contraction. My dad's face when pale and he kept flexing it after.

"I'm so glad I'm not human" Paul muttered to me after. I chuckled even though I wanted to kick him because whatever pain my dad felt from holding my hand; I was feeling a hundred times worse.

"Good luck" Renesmé smirked when my midwife came back; she kissed my cheek and left. Dad hugged me gently and Jake waved a little. Eleanor was awake now and was on the other side of me as Paul slid off the bed.

"Alright Sera, I'm going to need you to put your legs on here" she told me, I did as she asked and found myself sliding further down the bed. Paul moved the pillows so they were still comfortably underneath me. The TENS machine was nice on my back. Eleanor took one hand and Paul took the other. I don't know how long it took to get to the point where I was crying my eyes out but it felt like I'd been pushing forever. Even my midwife was getting stressed out with Eleanor's bad mood and complaints.

"Mom, just stop" Paul finally snapped. She looked at him. "You're not helping; in the slightest" he told her. "So please...just wait outside, and send Mark in" he ordered her; snapping. She walked out in a strop and a few minutes later my dad came in; I reached for his hand and he looked scared but he swallowed his fear of a broken hand and kissed my hand.

"Okay, I know you're getting tired and upset Sera but you can do this" my midwife reassured me, I was in so much pain I didn't even care anymore. I just want him out of me.

"I really hate you right now" I sobbed,

"I know" Paul muttered kissing my forehead. "I'd hate me too" he smirked, I scoffed and found myself grinning. Dad was a lot more reassuring than Eleanor; he kept telling me I was doing great and said 'breathe' a lot less weirdly than Paul so I gave him the job of it. Paul was incredible. I don't think I could have handled me the way he did. He put up with my insults and my crying. And on the push when she told me the head was showing, I've never felt so relieved in my life. "You're doing it; you're doing so well" Paul told me, he kissed me gently and squeezed my hand. He even hand a look and when I asked what it looked like he said it looked a lot less icky in books which made me laugh.

"Push" they all seemed to be shouting at once, I felt like screaming back 'I AM' but I did as I was told and felt so relieved that I had.

"And he's out" my midwife announced,

"Your $30 is mine, bitch" I muttered to Paul feeling incredibly exhausted. He chuckled and kissed me lots of times.

"You are so incredible" he told me. I know. I had a sleep after that; I wasn't positive about what happened. But when I woke up, I found myself relaxed. Paul was lying next to me, he seemed happy to see me awake. "Hey" he said gently, we were alone.

"Where is everyone?" I asked sitting up, Paul helped me.

"Well Renesmé and Jake are now inseparable from Ethan so they're down at the nursery staring at him through glass" he chuckled, my mom is at the shop buying clothes and your dad had run to get some drinks and food" he explained to me.

"Is he okay?" I asked him, ignoring the crap about everyone else.

"Yes, he's perfect" he told me,

"Can I see him?" I asked looking up at him, he chuckled.

"Of course you can; I'll go get the nurse" he told me. He disappeared for a few minutes and came back followed by my dad and Eleanor.

"Hey" dad smiled, he kissed my forehead and handed me a cheese and ham sandwich with a bottle of water. I took a big drink and put it on the small table that Paul wheeled over to me.

"Hi honey" Eleanor smiled, she kissed my forehead too. "I just want to apologise for earlier" she frowned. I smiled.

"Don't worry about it" I told her,

"But seriously; I am sorry" she told me.

"It's okay" I grinned. I don't care about what happened, we were all stressed and it was tense. She took a seat next to my dad and Paul wiggled his way back onto the bed. Renesmé and Jacob came through and took a seat after giving me a big hug each.

"I am so proud of you" Renesmé told me, "It sounded so painful" she grinned.

"Is...is painful" I corrected, It felt strange looking down at my stomach though. I was still a bit chubby but not as big. It wouldn't been too hard to lose the weight I think. And breastfeeding helps you lose it too so that should help. Paul gave me a big hug and I smiled; I can finally see my feet. I practically sat up straight when I saw two nurses wheeling my baby in. The crib was put near me and they lifted out a little body wrapped in a blue blanket. All I could see was the most beautiful head of brown hair. She gave him to me and I grinned. He's so beautiful. "You definitely have my nose" I grinned touching his little button nose gently; his eyes were closed because he was sleeping. I wonder what colour they are. "What colour are his eyes?" I asked,

"Brown" Renesmé announced excitedly beating everyone else to it. I bet they're beautiful. He's so gorgeous; just like his daddy.

"He basically has your everything except the eye colour and hair colour" Paul told me, he put his arms around me and placed his finger in Ethan's hand. I stroked his face gently. His eyes fluttered and then he started whining. Don't cry. I pulled him closer to me and his eyes gently opened, he just looked up at me and I grinned. They're exactly the same as Paul's. Those beautiful brown chocolate eyes.

"Hi Ethan" I said gently, he looked between Paul and I a few times. He's perfection. So completely worth it. So completely. I love him. I kissed his forehead and his fingers as he reached out towards me.


End file.
